To not care what DH thinks of my appearance.

[wantstosleepnow]

This is a long running argument between DH and I.

I have changed hairstyles a few times since we met, when I had long jet black hair.

He hates short hair, and he doesn't like my hair colour(white, almost grey).
So although my hair isn't that short, I did cut it(myself) into a bob last week. He got a bit moody and said why would I do things to make myself deliberately unattractive to him.

The thing is I could never imagine myself not experimenting and trying new
Looks, it's part of what I do. And no, I don't really take into account what he thinks.

Should I?

Oh and my DH hates bobs.

Really hates them

I had one when we met?

Yes OP go to the Feminist section because we're all such 50's housewives on here

YANBU - if you like changing hair styles and always have done then keep going, if oyu like the way it looks then that's that.

Aldiwhore says it very well. DH prefers my hair long and highlighted, when I have it highlighted he comments positively ( I sometimes use this as an opportunity to sneak in a few inches off the length as he is too dazzled by the bright shininess of it to notice ).
If I had it cut short - it was cut too short by accident once by hairdresser, he certainly wouldn't be moody, but he would say once it had grown a bit how he preferred it that way.
I don't think its wrong or bad that he has an opinion. I'd hate it if he grew a moustache or beard as he has blond hair and it would look vile, I'm happy to tell him that, so why shouldn't he tell me what he likes.

Actually OP I think you should ask a friend for his or her honest opinion. If they tell you your hair looks shite then decide for yourself if your OH is entitled to hate the way it looks.

No, he does still find me attractive, he just finds me less attractive with this hair, and sometimes my clothes

He doesn't dictate. Just thinking that I should take into account what he thinks. I do a bit though because I would have short short hair. Or a face tattoo. Haha

What cassette said. Why do the gals from the feminist board come here to put posters here down all the time?

It's not a 'weird thread', people just have different opinions. That should be ok, shouldn't it, rather than having somebody tell us what and how to think?

I thnk this thread is scary. I can't believe so many people think it's fine for a man to dictate his partners hairstyle! Utterly bizzare and frightening how shallow some people are! My Dh would NEVER think to "get moody" if I changed my hair...even if he personally hated it. he might say he didn't like it much but he'd never "not fancy" me suddenly! Oh and Lying the "gals" from the feminist board aren't exclusively "from there" they go all over MN.

WTAF is going on on this thread?

OP, you can have any hairstyle you want as long as your DH approves, apparently .

"Why exactly are you married to him?" I can't believe several posters are questioning your marriage because your DH disapproves of your hairstyle.

is it me or what?

at I sometimes use this as an opportunity to sneak in a few inches off Ecuse me Rookie do you live in 1878? Or perhaps you've wandered here from an alternate universe where women have to "sneak" their hair off when they want a trim!?

I'm a part of the "What!? you cut your own hair??" tendency. The only person I've ever known to do this is brilliant (Nobel level) funny and kind but from the eyebrows up he looks like an Anglo-Saxon peasant.

Sure it's ok to have differing opinions. It's OP's DH thinking he should get to dictate how she styles her hair that's weird.

Poc being attractive to your DH isn't only about the OUTSIDE. A good relationship comes from the INSIDE first. Otherwise everyone would divorce when they got old and wrinkly.

You can take it into account and then ignore it But seriously, my DH doesn't like short hair, however the few times I've had a skinhead he's been fine with it because it isn't all about appearances. Likewise if he were ever to cut off his (almost hip length) hair I would propbably feel like crying but it's his hair, his choice.

I suspect many posters have lost track of how nice it is to be desired.

There will always be assholes who wish to dictate every aspect of their partners lives, but... in a normal situation men should be able to have a say.

I find my husband repulsive if he doesn't shave.
SO I'm shallow.
Meh

BandoMothers.

I don't think any man should be able to dictate what a women wears and I say that as a short-haired doc-wearing 40 year old

What I do think is OK is for a partner to say when something looks awful. Obviously I only know what the OP has posted but it seems to me that she's made a right hash of her hair and instead of telling her straight, her OH has dealt with it in a cack-handed fashion.

Sorry OP if I've hurt your feelings but I refuse to believe a bob cut by the person wearing it would ever look good...

BandOMothers... Do you know what I find scary? That some people can't (or won't) read the thread. They don't like what's written there so they adjust it until it 'fits'. Many posters, myself included have said that it's about not caring what your partner thinks, not taking account and so on - not about the hairstyle at all - it's the 'disregard'.

I don't understand why women come here to post things like 'realised it's 1950's housewives'... why bother posting? Why sully one's superior brain with this thread then... better just to go, deprive us all of the witty repartee - and don't let the door slap you in the bottom on the way out.

I said "gals" on purpose... for sheer devilment, by the way.

No you shouldn't. Changing your look is part of you and you will have some good looks and some not so good looks. Adhering to his personal type is creepy. Is desire really dependent on a hair style. Shit I'm fucked.

It's not being a feminist to do whatever you please regardless of anyone. It's just being self obsessed, selfish and ignorant.

OP I am sure your partner loves you even with your new hair and finds you attractive, but we all have tastes. He is honest enough to tell you what he prefers. (I take back what I said earlier - it seems he doesn't actually dictate and tell you that you are now unattractive to him?) Like another poster said, it would be good to at least compromise. Isn't that what relationships are about?