Am I crazy or catholic church wrong to deny First Communion to Downs Syndrome child?!

[mummybiz]

My ex parish and the ex school of my children - which we left after my son was bullied- another story) has gone a step to far this time in my opinion see tinyurl.com/7qkqz9a denying a Downs Syndrome child the chance to take his first communion. I can't think of this as anything other than blatant and horrible discrimination - what do you all think?

Do the church want to be sure that he understands what the communion involves before he does it (eg an informed consent to it?).
If its any different from the way that other children are treated then I agree with you, but I would strongly support the boy in the article being able to make up his own mind about it, and if the church feel that that isnt the case then maybe it isnt the right time to do it.

Does any child fully understand the implications of Holy Communion? Why should he be singled out?

FFS it a child with downs syndrome, not a downs syndrome child. Person first, disabilty second.

Charming response - often encountered on mumsnet forums!! This is a genuine issue in my own parish - my child was bullied out of his school and he went on to make his first communion standing along side his bully - the bully was the child of a member of staff at the school. I am an ex primary teacher working in catholic schools and have seen bullying from all sides. As a lifelong catholic I have also seen disabled children make their first communion successfully although it seems it is often at the discretion of the Parish priest. IS it any wonder families are leaving the catholic church in droves? Please don't assume that because a controversial issue has been raised it must have been a troll who was writing.

One child was refused because he was too naughty... FFS. Will come back if I can think of a more eloquent way to post my disgust at that.

faeriefruitcake

As I said, I dont think he should be singled out. All children should be able to make their own informed choice. If the catholic church want children to understand communion before it happens then personally I struggle to disagree with that.

What's your child being bullied got to do with this? Or being made to be next to the child who bullied him?

Your op, along with the paper, seeks to pin one incident in one church with the entire catholic faith. You are apparently trying to blame the catholic church for bullying in schools too
So no, not a terribly serious issue

It's in the Daily Mail today so it's bound to be a heap of utter horse shit and untrue entirely.

I think this is the second thread that has been started on this. The other is is special needs so maybe the op could get the titles changed?

I think the op needs to separate her own issues with bullying at the school from this. For what it's worth I agree with the poster above, no child really understands what it "means". All my nieces cared about was how much money they got!!

No one said troll but you

So he doesn't enjoy mass, and has a limited concentration span - that sounds a lot like my younger children, who are definitely not ready to make such an important sacrament. My daughter who is nearly 8 is making her First Communion this year, and the depth of knowledge and preparation that is involved has moved on a little bit from when I was a child, when it was more about turning up on the day in a pretty dress. If this child isn't ready, he isn't ready. He may not be ready because of his DS, but I don't see how this is a story?

That's the problem with the Catholicc church isn't it, they take the religion bits seriously and you can't fix it with a cheque book.

You could always become an Anglican, OP.

There would generally be no problem with a child with SN and/or physical disabilities making their first holy communion - I know several kids who are far more disabled than this boy seems to be who have made their communion with their cohort (though sometimes they've been given separate preparation sessions that are more appropriate to their level of understanding).

My guess is that the issue here is that the boy is not in fact attending Mass on any kind of regular basis - in the DM version of this story the Mum is quoted as saying 'an hour-long mass is too long for him'. But in fact plenty of kids much younger and much more disabled do cope with being in church, so I suspect she just hasn't made the effort to bring him. And the priest has, not unreasonably, said that if the child is not capable (either developmentally or because the mum hasn't bothered to take him) of attending Mass, then he's not ready to make his Communion. Adn the parents have kicked off because they think they have some kind of automatic right for their child to be admitted to a sacrament without actually being any kind of active member of the church.

Alternatively of course the priest may be a bigoted old child-hater who likes nothign more than discriminating against families with disabled kids. Makes a much better story, so why bother letting the truth get in the way?

yabu
I considered getting my dd confirmed, she has severe cp, but couldn't be 100 % sure she would understand the lessons at the time, so didn't go ahead.
as far as I am aware, you have to take lessons in the faith and then get confirmed before taking communion. (I am c of e) is it different in the catholic church?

We lef the Catholic church becauseof (not one, but several) priests attitudes towards our autistic son. Really showed the true colous of the religion n my opinion!

My son took first communion recently and as parents we were given a Roman Catholic leaflet on first communion as the church of England doesn't have their own leaflet.

The leaflet said that having special needs was not an obsticle for first communion as no one understand communion. However the cathesim teaching needs to be planned to cater for special needs. It advised the parents/ priest to seek advice from the child's school on what support would be needed. The child may need seperate one to one classes. The dicose should be able to tmake the arrangements.

I think its completely reasonable to refuse to give first communion to a very naughty child. Being naughty may well be that child's way of saying that he doesn't want to do the first communion classes. The priest is respecting the child's wishes and the child can take first communion when he is older.

I don't think any child fully understands what Holy Communion is about. I certainly didn't. It wasn't until Confirmation that myself and my peers had any understanding of what we were committing ourselves to, which is why I chose not to be confirmed. I was the only person in my year who wasn't confirmed, a lot of my friends only did it to get a new outfit.

I think the Priest is being very mean by witholding Communion. I would have thought he could spare a half hour each week for some special time with the boy and his parents so that he could have some understanding of it.

But then, personal experience has shown that Catholic priests and compassion are sometimes poles apart.

And it is easy to say that disabled hildren should be able to cope with long church services. My DS couldnt and cannot. Largely because he cannot sit still or stay quiet for an hour, and noneof the RC churches near us make an allowances for that. We got tired of the dirty looks, quite frankly!

And what is 'a naughty child'? Can yo please explain? I didnt know christianity wasnt extended to 'the naughty'! Jesus would be so proud...

Whatmeworry Thu 19-Jan-12 09:23:34

That's the problem with the Catholicc church isn't it, they take the religion bits seriously and you can't fix it with a cheque book.

No. No I'm thinking the problem with the Catholic Church (note, NOT faith) is that many of it's most senior members are either involved in or sanction the abuse of young and vulnerable people in it's communities. And sometimes I really hope their is a God because when these people stand before him on their judgement day I can't imagine there being a happy outcome...

I think I view it as the same as marriage, there should be no reason why any disabled person cannot have the right to do whatever any able person can do (sorry if I get my terminology wrong, please correct me if I do)... but there has to be an understanding.

If any child wishes to make the sacrament, if they understand it, if it is something that they believe important to them, then they should not be disallowed.

However, I'm sure there are many many children who take their first communion without much serious thought, much as we'd like to think its sincere sometimes it isn't.

Each case should be dealt with individually. So I can't say whether YABU or not without probably knowing the child in question, its possible they understand and want first communion, in which case being disallowed is wrong, but there could also be a valid reason, that reason should apply to any child regardless of ability.

Well for what it's worth my son has to attend a number of catholic services in several catholic churches. He could not have been made more welcome.