to feel like I've been kicked in the teeth.

[SillyOldBear01]

I got engaged on xmas day , weee! so did another mate.
I've not even set a date yet but perhaps stupidly got all giddy and told people who I wanted to be m.o.h/bridesmaids.
I asked other b to b to be a bm . she accepted seemed thrilled.
been chatting about plans etc.
I got told a date has been set but only close family know becasue its soon and only family will be going to daytime (grooms request). I'm not sure If i'm even invited to night do.
AIBU to feel like I'm gonna be totally humiliated and actually quite stunned and upset, like I dunno made to look stupid and its quite shitty tbn

Not entirely sure what you're saying - b to b to be a bm? What are you upset about?

Sounds like you're having completely different types of weddings. She is having a small family only do you are having one big enough to have moh and bridesmaids.

I'm assuming you didn't just ask her to be your BM so you could be hers?

If not, she hasn't kicked you in the teeth, she has shared with you plans that no other friends are privvy to and she has been honest about her intentions.

YABU

Are you upset because the woman you've asked to be your bridesmaid hasn't invited you to her family only wedding? If so, YABU. It's not tit-for-tat!

''Waves hands in front of eyes'' like.......OMG!

Aw, that seems a bit harsh. I know you don't ask people to be bm based on expected reciprocation (if that's a word) but if you were close enough to ask someone to be bm/moh then not to even been invited to the wedding would upset you. (Assuming that's what this is about - not entirely sure)

Oh dear. That wasn't polite silly.
How many people do you think will support you now?

..even have been.. is what I meant.

Its courtesy to at least to be invited to theirs

It isn't ?!

If it's a small family wedding why would you be invited? Your reaction is completely irrational and yes YABU, completely.

Oh and Venemous? AF no, straight talking and no bullshit.

since you are

ah, misjudged the thread.

You sound very childish and selfish IMO.

And that is based on your reply to AF as I have no idea what you are on about in you OP

I got told a date has been set but only close family know becasue its soon and only family will be going to daytime (grooms request). I'm not sure If i'm even invited to night do.

Well, TBH, I doubt shes even done the guest list, booked the venue, or even looked @ the finer details.

YABU because you are hysterical that you should have matching wedding requirements.

I used to plan OP's kind of reciprocal wedding arrangements when I was 8yo

Thankyou Giyada's , its more that awkward moment when people say
'Oh but you didn't go to her wedding though did you? que awkward silence.

And to another poster why is relationships topic relevant, I've seen banal shit on their like everywhere else.

Erm, why is everyone being nasty to the OP? I'd feel a bit miffed if I'd just asked someone to be my bridesmaid and then they didn't even invite me to any of their wedding. Human nature innit?

If you were upset, SOB, why on earth did you invite everyone to tell you if you were being unreasonable?

The courtesy of 'I'll invite you to mine as long as you invite me to yours' doesn't exist. Maybe that sort of reciprocal obligation is created with Christmas cards, but wedding invitations are in a whole other league.

I wouldn't be upset in the reverse situation, YABU.