to feel like I've been kicked in the teeth.

[SillyOldBear01]

I got engaged on xmas day , weee! so did another mate.
I've not even set a date yet but perhaps stupidly got all giddy and told people who I wanted to be m.o.h/bridesmaids.
I asked other b to b to be a bm . she accepted seemed thrilled.
been chatting about plans etc.
I got told a date has been set but only close family know becasue its soon and only family will be going to daytime (grooms request). I'm not sure If i'm even invited to night do.
AIBU to feel like I'm gonna be totally humiliated and actually quite stunned and upset, like I dunno made to look stupid and its quite shitty tbn

You don't know the reasons why she isn't having a big do.

Quite a few of my close friends have had 'private family only' ceremonies and then evening receptions. One of my closest friends admitted she'd like to have invited me, but her DHs cousins would have been offended, so they had an 'immediate family' blanket rule. Fair dos, it's their day, yes I was sad to have not been privvy to her big moment, but it's their day. Equally, my DSIS is nervous as hell around crowds and that is actually putting her off getting married. I do fully appreciate it is difficult to be 'objective' when you're in the midst of everything and all of the excitement yourself, but her and her DHTB decision is theirs and totally theirs. Don't let it bother you. Your friend is probably feeling guilty / worried etc, but keen to do what's right for them. Reassure her that it's brilliant she is having the day she and her DH wants.

Congrats by the way.

AF my thoughts exactly!!!

What has happened to MN tonight???

Too many newbie threads and kids crying!!!!

Oh - and here's something else for you to think about. When you really are 'kicked in the teeth' you'll know about it. Trust me on this one. Then you'll be able to look back and see what nonsense this is because what it's absolutely NOT is a kick in the teeth.

Hers is only close family. If she was inviting a load of friends and didn't invite you then I could see why you would be upset but she isn't. I had a fucking insane large wedding (groom's request) and wasn't invited to the smaller weddings of several of the guests.

YABB*

*bridezilla

Cue

silly you are not making it easier for us to be on your side.

I think if it were my wedding, I might make it 'family only' as well

Depends on the wedding ...... family is family ... not everyone wants a full on flowers and cars scenario. Some people like small and private. Some people Like the full monty. Some people like it in between.

Thanks Sheep the one coherant poster on here thats how I feel I dont feel I need to be a BM but at least invited. But true I dont know her reasons.

I agree Avocado. Not sure it would bother me too much, but can see where OP is coming from. Trois is also probably correct, it's unlikely finer details have yet been looked at.

Can I just say, don't let this affect your 'cloud 9' at the moment.

Just be happy for her that she's happy.

not sure why you are upset tbh.

it is your friends wedding, and if family only in the day then it is family only in the day.

Anyone telling me they wouldn't be upset in the reverse situation

no i wouldn't be upset, for the simple reason that i hope a friend had a fantastic wedding.

also it would mean a get together after the wedding for a glass of wine and to look at the wedding video/photos

While I agree with the majority here that silly should lighten up a bit over her wedding ishoo, I do think that she was no more rude to AF than AF had been to her. Let's have some balance people, please - not just jump on the poor OP for (unwittingly I suspect) talking back to one of our mn royals.

You don't need to be invited.

I've been quite polite considering some of the posts tbh ans sadly most of the supposed women will be alot older than me , good god.

Aw, why the beating on the OP?

Course you'd feel a bit mizz . I mean I wouldn't, because wedding stuff bores me rigid, but I'm not normal.

congrats on the engagement OP: concentrate on your own wedding, not on someone else's.

*and

Oh dear!!

Another one...

Yabu!!! It's just a wedding, a day, nothing to get so worked up about!!

Mn royalty ffs

Also, what bushymcbush said!

We might be older in years, but you never get older in your head, ever.

bushy, give over about the royals

Op can be as rude to me as she likes, it's her thread after all

now that, I will give her without any judgement at all

Obviously.

Mumsnet is like Thailand - you can get a 15-year sentence for not respecting the royals.