to feel like I've been kicked in the teeth.

[SillyOldBear01]

I got engaged on xmas day , weee! so did another mate.
I've not even set a date yet but perhaps stupidly got all giddy and told people who I wanted to be m.o.h/bridesmaids.
I asked other b to b to be a bm . she accepted seemed thrilled.
been chatting about plans etc.
I got told a date has been set but only close family know becasue its soon and only family will be going to daytime (grooms request). I'm not sure If i'm even invited to night do.
AIBU to feel like I'm gonna be totally humiliated and actually quite stunned and upset, like I dunno made to look stupid and its quite shitty tbn

PS, I love the 'MN royalty' - there's a reason that some posters end up being around long enough and often enough to be 'known' on a forum as big as this - usually it's because they a) know what they are on about and b) aren't afraid to say it.

I didn;t say anything bad not sure why my posts have gone. Oh well. Off to check my inbox.

Write them again FC, quickly, before the big 'uns notice

I have NO idea of what has been going on here, but judging by the amount of deleted messages, and the attitude of the OP and the first post, these must be the weddings of Jerry Springer and Jeremy Kyle, to each other!!

YOU focus on YOUR wedding, invite whomever you want, and have the bridesmaids you want.

Allow your friend the same courtesy.

Let HER have the wedding SHE wants, with the guests she wants.

Unless you and your lot are lowlife scum, one-cell amoeba, or the like, people will NOT compare who went to whose wedding, they wont. Really, they wont.

I cant remember what they were now!

they deleted those posts ?

fgs why ???

fabby, they don't contact you when you have been deleted < seasoned professional >

OOoohh my first ever deletion! dances around laptop Does that mean I get to join some sort of secret coven now?

And I wasn't even rude. I merely suggested the poster was somewhat immature.....

shhhh, maybe the OP really is MNHQ, and trigger happy....

the deleted posts were pisstakes, but not abusive

for the latecomers

I reckon it's a timing think OP. Just imagine, you have your wedding with planned BM and it's a two year gap before she gets engaged and plans her small, family shindig. Bet that wouldn't hurt so much. Just 'bad' timing

Ffs is it even worth reading it's like a document thats been relearned to the public with the juicy bits blacked out.

I was checking for a ban AF

nah, fabby, you are ok (for a while)

this thread has gone boring now all the interesting posts have been deleted

< yawn >

I'm not sure why I was deleted I didn't even swear ??

This thread has made me although I fail to see how the op has been attacked?

And now I'm thinking if wedding invites are on a bridesmaid/not bridesmaid basis...

If I ever get married, should I invite DB or not? When he got married in 2007, not only was I not a bridesmaid, I wasn't even near the front for the meal (£ rows of tables, I was in middle, even though step siblings were in front). He is remarrying (someone else I have to say) next year. I am maid-of-honour.

So should I invite him or not?

SillyOldBear01, I wouldn't feel hurt or offended if I were you. It doesn't sound like you are being excluded for any personal reason. She is not having as many attendants as you are in your wedding, and is having a private family affair.

I hope you have come around since this thread was started, and can focus on your own wedding from now on. :)

wow alot of messages have been deleted

Cooo, someone's got itchy fingers tonight.

yeah

Oh look, there goes Concord again.

Lots of people have small intimate ceremonies and then a big party in the evening. Maybe that's what they are planning. They might just want family as attendants. You have been a bit hasty in judging her before you know all the details especially for what her evening plans are.

There is no set pattern to MNHQ's deleting policy, it changes according to who is on duty, I think. Why all the deleting on this particuliar thread MN? It would put one off bothering to post on any MN thread.

Just a quick reply to the serious posts, I've calmed down a bit now like people all her other friends are in the same boat.
I can see my fi- not taking it so well though and not inviting them to reception which has been threatened but I said not to be spiteful, I think it was just said out of upset iyswim.