Justified anger at the posters who were rude and hurtful on a past thread

[Roseability]

I haven't posted on Mumsnet for nearly a year and I am posting in this section, well because I suspect it is one of the most popular and I am hoping certain posters will read it

Just under a year ago, I posted about my ds (link provided below). An Early Years Educator had raised a concern that he was sometimes having problems following instructions.

She insinuated he had serious developmental problems and was quite negative about him. I posted for advice, because I genuinely felt she had got it wrong.

The response I got from some posters on that thread was quite frankly disgusting and had I not been too upset, I would have reported it at the time. I was called names, told I was a bad mother and told I was in denial about my ds.

I know that learning difficulties can be a sensitive area, but I stated time and time again that I was making no judgement about children with learning difficulties. I was following my instincts as a mother. Still I was insulted.

In the end my ds did have a speech & Lang assessment and he was discharged. He has settled into school really well. I still think about that thread now and then because at the time it put me in quite a bad place. I know it is strangers on the internet, but words hurt.

I suppose my point is, that I have read many a thread on here, of mothers who instinctively know their child is having developmental difficulties and are met with resistence by various authorities. It can work the other way. A mother who really believes her child is being misunderstood.

I would never neglect to support my children in the best way. Anyway, whilst there are many lovely posters on mumsnet, some are hurtful and agressive. No doubt this will be met with the usual nasty quips from some, but I don't care. One thing I have learnt is that everyone is entitled to stick up for themselves. I am not posting just because I was right. For indeed, had my ds been diagnosed with special needs, I still would have posted. That it was no way to be towards a mum in distress.

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/preschool/1140182-Anyone-had-problems-with-pre-school-I-think-they-are-trying-to-label-my-son-as-autistic

I am pleased that your son is doing well.

But, and I mean this is the nicest possible way, let it go. Close the chapter. It's been a year, and I am sure you associate a difficult time in your life with that thread, but that time is over now.

If a few comments on the Internet are still bothering you a year later you need to toughen up a bit. And to be fair you were rather insulting.

I'm glad your DS is doing well but that thread began badly and you drip fed...you took offence where none wass meant very early on and your tone was cold and disparaging. I think you need to forget it all and read back carefully.

I never posted on your previous thread, sorry you were hurt by the comments posted upon it.

I have been known to upset people, but it's not done out of spite or maliciousness, I guess you must have touched some peoples nerves.

You have to get a thick skin for internet forums, it's the way of the world.

Glad your son is doing okay now.

Rose,
So glad your DS is doing well. I honestly think it is dangerous coming online to ask for opinions on something sensitive to oneself, as the answers and abuse and sometimes tongue in cheek responses can hit you far too hard when you are down. Chin up, and look forward. Do not dwell on idiots in your past.

Seeing as you 'don't care' - get some wood, build a bridge and get over it, it's been a YEAR! It's not good to hang onto this stuff for so long, it's just words on a screen, not actual people who know and love you.

Wow- you dont care but still feel the need to harp on about it a whole year later? Hate to see your reaction if you DID care!

I've just taken a look at the original thread. Yu were very very punchy. Hardly surprising people attacked back!

Glad your son is doing well. Yes people can be nasty and disparaging here. tbh there are times when I feel more fragile when I wouldn't post on here. I have learned only to post when I know I will be fine if any nasty remarks are posted.

Maybe not the way it should be - but I think it is the way it is.

I didn't see the thread at the time but looking at it now it does seem to me that people were trying to help. When you said that you had found some of the responses upsetting people said sorry and that they were only trying to help.

I think you should forget it to be honest. I'm glad your DS is doing well.

Just read the original thread - takes 2 to tango methinks. Let it go, all is now well....

OP, I think you read a lot into people's posts that simply wasn't there. You feel people were insinuating you were a bad mother but I really don't get that impression. You got a LOT of help on there, a lot of support. Such a shame that you can only see it in such a negative light.

I am tough enough thank you very much memoo

I said I didn't care if the usual sniping remarks were made. And I don't.

What I do care about, is people being treated respectfully on appropiate threads.

Glad your son is doing well, but you need to let it go.

Looking at that thread can't you see where you were a little provocative, hmm? Brining it up a year later is just strange.

YABU

HTH

Hi rose,
I have read the first page of your old thread, and I can see you were upset by the end of that page. It was obviously an upsetting time for you, and it's great you got the assessments sorted etc and your instinct that your ds was fine was correct. I hope he's happy in school now.

What do you want now? From the first page, I do not think anyone meant to be rude or insulting to you -although that might have changed later in the thread. Are you after an apology? I think one issue was that your original thread came across as a 'what do you think?' thread, when in fact I think you wanted a 'please support me, I'm upset by this' thread. So now, for this thread, it might be worth thinking about and posting what you need /want, so we know where you are coming from?

Respect works both ways though surely? You didn't treat people with a lot of respect and actually, I think you get treated quite sensitively considering some of your chippy responses.

You did get snotty very early on

Clearly you are not!

Cross posted with your snippy post on this thread! You are at it again OP, learn from your mistakes love

read it further on Abirdinthhand (although it may bore you!)

I do get called names and told that my ds should be felt sorry for

You were very rude to people on that thread. You were also talking a lot of nonsense.
If its still bothering you a year later, at the very least you should get off the internet.