to need to say these things to children's TV characters?

[FannyPriceless]

Fat Controller: Your railway is in a terrible state of disrepair. Your rolling stock needs urgent maintenance. The number of brake failures and derailments is way above average. You are Potters Bar waiting to happen. Do something now.

Tombliboos: You need to get some better elastic for your trousers.

De Li, Yojojo, et al: A sentence includes an article. Subject-verb-noun does not cut it.

To everyone on the Shiney Show 'a shiney' is NOT a noun. Aaaaaaarrrrrgh!

Grandpa in my pocket - Screams dubiousness to me. I'd be a tad concerned if any Grandpa liked to poke about in a kids pocket, let alone show preference to one specific kids "pocket". Child Protection Squad anyone?

Mickey Mouse - Bossy, self righteous little cunt who I would never want in my circle of friends, call in rentokill and whilst I am there if Pluto is a dog what the hell is Goofy?!

Mr.Maker - Cocaine.

The whole of Balamory - Take your Politically correct, unbelievable bullshit and piss off the TV. I didn't think remote Scottish isles contained that many homosexuals, ethnic minorities and disabilities.

The shiney show - Get over it, they are shitty objects such as destitute golf balls and amputated human fingers wrapped in tin foil.

Claude, inthepotty,claude

I'm still waiting for the day they dress Claude as a hooker. Then I will be mildly interested.

Arthur and family....Not sure who told you that you are Aardvarks, sorry to say but you are not. God knows what you are but Aardvark it ain't.

Dj Lance...See a drug councillor Asap.

Cast of MeToo....Please stop pretending that Rudy is not blind, we all know it and you are sending out a terrible message IMHO

Wizards of Waverley Place - Justin and Max, you are really growing up mmmmhmmmmm. Max, call me in a few years, Justin, call me now!!!

Mr Lopart - you are a serial killer waiting to happen.

Handy Manny, Kelly. You know you want to.

Justin - employing a robot as your butler who seems to adore you is....odd. Just be careful because if he makes his move and you reject him, things will get ugly. He seems to be highly strung.

Bubble Guppies- You're not funny, your singing is terrible, I don't care what you have for lunch, and I can't find the bloody remote control to turn you over!

Grandpa and Jason and the rest of the family - change your clothes occasionally

Rastamouse and friends - why do the ladies wear dresses, but the men wear tops with no trousers? Cover yourselves up please.

Pissing myself laughing at this thread.

Can I add -
Baby Jake - bugger off with your goggy gee yah. And Isaac -don't encourage him by speaking crap back.
Upsy Daisy - If you can't say anything more than 'Oh' and your own name I suggest you get some help. And leave the bed at home.

Mike the Knight - I'm sorry to be be the one to tell you, but your dad isn't off fighting in the Crusades or whatever it is that you think he's doing. He was planning to run away with your mum's Lady in Waiting and so your mum ran him through with his own sword and buried him in the midden. Why do you think she looks so cheerful ?