women who 'get on better with men'

[bejeezus]

I would have said this about myself into my 20's. I have 2 acquaintances who are women who 'get on better with men' 'have more male friends than female'

Neither of this women IMO have what it takes to be a good friend. They are both quite fickle and seem to lack empathy,I wouldnt trust them or rely on them. I can't really put my finger on what it is about them; they seem a bit fair-weather

On reflection, when I was younger I was less open and was probably emotionally immature (compared with peers) and didnt really have any great girl-friends when growing (not that I recognised). Since having made good female friends,that i do appreciate- there is nothing like it. I think girl-friend relationships are much deeper and enduring and there is nothing like it

Whats your experience of women who 'get on better with men'?
AIBU if I think they are a bit rubbish?

I tend to get on better with men but I think that's because I grew up as the only female in a male only household. I find myself actively trying to 'fit in' with female friends, although I have many and some really good ones. I feel like the odd one out quite often but I think that's down to me rather than them.

However I do try to treat people as individuals and don't make judgements based on their gender. (Not saying that anyone on this thread is btw).

I prefer male friends in fact I have no female friends unless they also find men easier to get on with, I dont have poor communication skills I just have more in common with men I generally find I can talk to women easy and get a good conversation but I usually find women as boring as you would most likely find me (doesnt mean they are we just dont have much in common).

I am not fickle but I am unemotional and often narrow minded people take that for a lack in empathy but it is not right if a friend is having a tough time I will do all I can to help, I just dont show emotion alot if someone cant see past that then that is thier problem.

Yes it's too late Op because you have come across badly and the question

'AIBU to think they are all a bit rubbish' is awful and and

sunshine great post

However, other women who say they prefer male company indiscriminately, because 'men are less bitchy' or 'more interesting', do so IMO because they have internalised the idea that women and traditionally female interests are somehow less worthy than men's. Subconsciously they aspire to have the status that being male affords and often revel in titles such as 'honorary man' or 'one of the lads'. This might work well on an individual level for women, but ultimately it perpetuates sexism

this articulates what I think I am getting at.

I do think your OP was quite judgy.

Thinking about it, I'm 100% sure people would see me as fickle and lacking in empathy. I'm not, but I also am not into committing to friendships too stringently until I'm sure that I actually like the person. I prefer to have one or two really close friends and I don't really like the whole "OH POOR YOU DARLING SWEETHEART" thing that some women do (not judging, just not me).

It's much easier to go for a pint with a bloke and it's not a big thing. It is what it is (as long as he knows you're not romantically interested). Whereas with women, it turns into this soul searching "are we mates/are we not" thing that I can't be arsed with most of the time.

Course, it could just be that I'm lacking in social skills.

which is where my 'betraying themselves' comment came from...

should be...betraying women maybe?

Surely you are getting an insight?

Well see my first post as a response to that OP

It's not always the same for all women who get on better with men which you do seem to assume and judge

I have also tended to have male friends,think thats down to opportunity and experience.I have 5 brothers no sisters,and the school I attended I was in the first year of an all boys school that took girls there were 3 girls 60 odd boys!!I went on many lads nights out,stag weekends etc

As I have gotten older this has changed ,and I have developed closer female friends ,I don't like the stereotype of male and female behaviour,I'm a woman so I don't want to pigeon hole mysefd.I have also known some very bitchy men .So without stating the obvious I am friendly with people I have stuff in common with and less so with people I don't make a connection with.Simples

There is an annoying very small subset of womankind that choose to spend adulthood seeking the approval of "Daddy". They are generally to be avoided, like other narcissitic/unbalanced types. We are warned about abusive men but not that women can be as nasty even if the methods they choose are different, it has the same emotionally damaging effect on those who make the error of trusting them.

How to spot:-

1. A stock phrase by which you can spot em tends to be "I find it soo much easier to get on with men, women are so bitchy, as a result I have very few female friends". This is THE quickest way to spot em and is used as an excuse to treat 50% of the adult population like shite (unless it suits them to do otherwise).

(Anyone who says they have a social issue with half the adult population has by definition an "ishoo". It's very different from saying you wish you had more female friends, but due to working in a male environment etc you don't get the chance to meet like minded women with similar interests. )

What to expect from them:-

1. These women actually gt a KICK outta nicking other women's hubbies. If the wife is pregnant/breastfeeding at the time, so much the better.

1. Men are often ATM machines rather than what the rest of us would call "lfe partners" when you look at the hstory of their long term relationships.

1. At parties etc other women trying to make overtures are snubbed in favour of eye lash batting when a MAN joins the group.

1. You'll find them very friendly when your hubby is standing next to you at the school fete but will be totally ignored on the Tuesday morning school run and be left wondering how you offended them.

Sadly not all women got the "sisterhood solidarity" training as children, and not all women are kind, caring human beings. Thankfully the ratio of utter bitches to rational human beings is very low.

sunshineandbooks excellent post !!!

sunshine puts it brilliantly.

beejeezus I understood your point.

I have to say that if a woman said this about herself I would give her a wide berth. If that makes me judgey, so be it.

Im not really assuming and judging though Kayano-I'm asking the question

Ive givenmy experience,of me as I was growing up and of 2 women I know. Also of my interpretation of this and some half formed ideas

Im trying to explore and discuss. Im not arguing a staunch point of view

I see that 'rubbish' was an inflammatory word to have used

fair post OP

However, other women who say they prefer male company indiscriminately, because 'men are less bitchy' or 'more interesting', do so IMO because they have internalised the idea that women and traditionally female interests are somehow less worthy than men's. Subconsciously they aspire to have the status that being male affords and often revel in titles such as 'honorary man' or 'one of the lads'. This might work well on an individual level for women, but ultimately it perpetuates sexism

Or, it may just be that women are more bitchy and less interesting, and its got little to do with the subconscious....

Actually, I don't think either of these opposite poles are true, the word missing in both is "some".

Ive always been very distrustful on such relationships. Not sure there is such a thing as a platonic relationship between men and women. It's unnatural.

That's because you're so desirable, ladiesman that every woman you encounter wants to jump your bones.

Oh God, REALLY, Bochead? I say this and believe me, I have no interest in stealing your husband. I've seen him and no ta.

wow bochead thats another angle. That is certainly true for 1 of the women I referred to

If social skills mean being able to gossip, bitch, moan and go one for hours about the poor (perfectly adequate IMO) school cleaning.
Then give me DH and the various men I've been friends with and their technical chatter anyday!

ladiesman I disagree...out of my male friends I have only fancied 1 of them. I was thinking about this the other day...absolutely no romantic/sexual feelings for the others at any point.

Hmmm...thats no to say they havent thought about me in that way, I suppose

My male friends (of which I have 3 very close) are wonderfully undemanding. They don't get all offended if I dont see them for weeks months and they don't think it's " something they've done" or that it means we mean less to each other - they accept that life gets in the way. They're supportive and I can call them anytime but they don't mind if I don't call. They have their independence and I have mine without judgement. I like that.
To some women like the OP that might make me a "rubbish friend" but not to them. Hence I 'get on better with men'.

Beejesus. Exactly how can you be sure their intentions were honourable. Cross sex friendships just don't sit right with me. They never have

maybenow no...thats not what i am getting at...I am terrible for returning phonecalls/ keeping in touch...dont think that is owt to do with being a man/woman