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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be furious that hubby left toddler home alone?

428 replies

Tinaland · 10/01/2012 15:48

My husband left my 18 month old home alone while he went to buy cider. It was 9pm and DS was asleep in his cot (he can't climb out) but was restless as he's got a cold. Hubby was only gone about 5 mins but I am furious and feel a bit sick that he left him.

OP posts:
redwineformethanks · 10/01/2012 15:57

Is this for real? That's terrible

NewYearEverything · 10/01/2012 15:58

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

StealthPenguin · 10/01/2012 15:59

Is this a joke?! Because if not, then it's boot-in-arse-and-clothes-in-suitcase time.

AnyFucker · 10/01/2012 15:59

I hope this is a wind up

ThisIsANickname · 10/01/2012 16:00

I can understand your initial anger, but I would let it go. By all means, ask him not to do it again. But nothing happened (I presume, or you would have included that bit of information) so I don't think you need to continue to be "furious."

squeakytoy · 10/01/2012 16:00

If it was literally five minutes, then I dont see the problem. No different to putting the bins out if the shop is right next door.

It if was more than five minutes, I wouldnt be happy.

Original poster
Tinaland · 10/01/2012 16:00

This is not a joke. Happened last night while I had an evening out with a friend.

OP posts:
bigpigeon · 10/01/2012 16:00

Dreadful thing to do, but everyone makes rash mistakes and thankfully nothing happened. If he did it a second time then curtains as far as I am concerned.

dandelionss · 10/01/2012 16:01

5 mins -no problem.I'll bet he takes longer than that taking a dump.

Angelswings · 10/01/2012 16:01

Not acceptable but quite common sadly

OTTMummA · 10/01/2012 16:02

how did you find out OP?
Is this his way of punishing you for going out?

ThisIsANickname · 10/01/2012 16:03

Is this his way of punishing you for going out?

Hmm
AnyFucker · 10/01/2012 16:03

you need to rephrase your "can't climb out of his cot" to "can't climb out of his cot yet ", btw

was this 5 mins on foot or 5 mins in the car ?

and call me a bore, but why was he buying cider to drink home alone in sole charge of a baby ?

Original poster
Tinaland · 10/01/2012 16:03

THisIsANickname - nothing bad happend, but it could've, and I'll struggle to trust him to 'babysit' again.

OP posts:
MidnightinMoscow · 10/01/2012 16:03

I think his reaction to how you feel about this would be the deal breaker for me.

Is he mortified and understands he made a really poor error of judgement?

OTTMummA · 10/01/2012 16:03

I don't know what the Hmm is for Nickname.

AnyFucker · 10/01/2012 16:04

he doesn't "babysit" his own child

although he isn't fit to be in charge of one, that is for sure

belgo · 10/01/2012 16:04

My dd1 climbed out of her cot at age 19 months.

Why did he so desperately need the cider?

squeakytoy · 10/01/2012 16:06

I think OP needs to explain exactly how far away the shop is, and how drunk her husband was.

If the shop is right next to the house, and he hadnt already been drinking, then having a couple of ciders does not mean he was unfit in charge of a child.

jocie · 10/01/2012 16:06

how far away is the shop?

its a bit diff to taking a dump dandelionss as at least you still in the house.

I would be fuming and would sit down with him after id calmed down to talk aboiut why i was so cross and get him to prmise never to do it again.

I don't think id kick him out over just that 1 incident though. Confused

AnyFucker · 10/01/2012 16:07

yes it does, because he left the child alone to get alcohol

BettySwollocksandaCrustyRack · 10/01/2012 16:07

Well, YANBU for being furious, I would have been cross too. However, IF it was just 5 minutes and if DS def COULD NOT get out of the cot then it's not a shooting offence, just make sure DH knows not to do it in future. I think it is ridiculous to suggest it would be a "deal breaker" as many like to call it.....like someone else says, it takes longer to have a shit (my DH can take bloody ages)!

TheRealMrsHannigan · 10/01/2012 16:07

I'd be furious too. Being in the loo taking a dump is completely different to being at the shop xxx metres away, that's not even within hearing range.

How has he reacted to your (understandable) anger? It would be the deciding factor on how this played out for me.

AnyFucker · 10/01/2012 16:07

(make him unfit)

TheProvincialLady · 10/01/2012 16:07

If you were having a poo and the house caught fire, would you stay on the loo while the house burnt down or do you think you might get up and save the bloody toddler? FFS. It is totally unacceptable to leave a toddler in the house alone for any length of time and for any reason, and someone who goes to get cider leaving a toddler alone is behaving extremely badly. If it was my DH I would be giving serious thought to the kind of parent he was.