To be furious that hubby left toddler home alone?

[Tinaland]

My husband left my 18 month old home alone while he went to buy cider. It was 9pm and DS was asleep in his cot (he can't climb out) but was restless as he's got a cold. Hubby was only gone about 5 mins but I am furious and feel a bit sick that he left him.

I have to ask, though, MinceRinser, before I take your last post seriously - do you really rinse mince? Or is unrinsed mince just too risky?

I agree that a cost benefit analysis (such as risk v benefit) is part of the opions appraisal we should all conduct as part of the daily risk assessments we conduct - or do we? Does each person weighs up whether driving, in the rain perhaps, is worth the risk of a serious accident when going to the supermarket for some ice cream? As long as the baby is in the front seat in a car seat, we don't think twice about tearing up and down motorways, we just don't think about it.

Rationally the risk of anything happening to a child in a cot is tiny. But we think about it and worry - to the point of people advising the OP to divorce her DH. The risk of having a traffic accident is real, and we don't think of it, and we do it even when the benefit of driving is not important. And sometimes in the evening, a cold beer from the shop is exactly what i need to relax and wind down - so would consider it as beneficial as going for a walk on some other day.

I've managed to get two pages into reason this and can't go any further. The mass hysterical dump the fucker posts are ridiculous.

Presumably it's the mans first child, he's made a mistake, lesson learnt and wont do it again.

Whilst I don't think what he did was right - every single one of us has left a baby alone, for more than five minutes, many of us would struggle to get from one end of the house to the other in five minutes.

Ending a marriage over it? Ridiculous

We are talking about theoretical risk here, an accident not happened. The toddler in the OP is FINE, and yet people have been urging divorce, arning of police action, child taken by SS etc.

A few months ago there was a very very sad thread by a brave and compassionate woman whose dd had been terribly, life-changingly burned in an accident which would have been preventable had her DH acted more responsibly. She was posting for advice about how to forgive her DH and repair her marriage. In the wake of an accident which HAD happened. The vast majority of posters on a very long thread were in support of her forgiving, or reconciling her feelings for her DH, being philosophical and non-judgmental about the accident. Many acknowledged that they would find it hard, but there was none of the 'chuck him out' frenzy that this situation has aroused. I winder why? And also, no police action and although SS had coome round for a visit, no children removed.

Why the difference here?

I don't rinse mince - it's from a thread on here about someone's dh who does.

We only use our car when we need to. Partly cos it's probably one of the most dangerous things we do and partly because we are poor. Definitely too poor for a house it takes more than 5 minutes to walk across

I don't think the op should divorce her dh but I would be pissed off and disappointed at the huge difference in our views of priority if it was my dh.

My friend's Mum rinses bacon.

No - the advice is not to rinse chicken! Did you not see the adverts 'are you a chicken splasher?'. If you rinse chickens you risk splattering bacteria all over the sink and draining board. If chicken is properley cooked all the bad stuff will be destroyed by heat. Unlike the germs lurking on the draining board and taps!

NHS chicken washing advice

Apparantly washing your chicken makes no difference to any pathogens on your chicken - plenty will still be there - but spreads them everywhere else.

Someone said similar on the mince thread. It makes sense.

Just read the first page...

It wasn't a great thing to do but it's hardly a deal-breaker. The toddler is fine, the OP went ballistic and he won't do it again.

I have to say that it's something I've considered doing (not buying cider though!) a few times. I've never done it because of the 'what if' scenarios but I am sure it happens an awful lot.

NOOOOOO you DON'T rinse chicken

FGS uneducated fools

You souse it in strong cider and cook in a sealed pot with leeks. At the end add cream to make an unctious sauce.

IF you go to the cupboard and see that you are OUT of strong cider then you pop up the shop and get some. Alright?

SardineQueen, after 414 posts, I think you have the whole issue sorted!

I feel I can relax now.

Where's that cider?

Just look on me as your guru.

NOOOOOO you DON'T rinse chicken

I read that as rinse children :o

Cheeersh (hic!)

Rinsing children in strong cider would certainly remove the possibility of them managing to climb out of things

I like the Sprats

Incidentally beef mince should be rinsed in red wine, if the secret mince rinser is still around. Strain it though a fine sieve and straight into the mouth of a nearby toddler for best effects.

these "infinitesimal" risks are greatly magnified when one has been drinking

has anyone asked why the OP's partner gave himself permission to leave a small child alone while he fetched more alcohol ?

I reckon he had already been drinking, and wanted more

so...if he was already half-cut, more chance of swishing that curtain onto a lit candle, leaving the gas ring on, forgetting about the chip pan

alcohol fuels stupid decisions...this was one of them

Good point AF. My friend put a pizza in the oven and went to bed after a night out one time.

I think the issue at stake is the reason he left the child ie to buy cider. What if he had left the child for 5 mins to help neighbour with burst pipe or to buy vital medicine? Also could quite reasonably go out to check something in garden shed (in a big garden) and be as far away as some others are popping two doors down to shop. Stupid man-reason for leaving child more annoying than actual leaving of child IMO.

Completely missed your earlier post blu.
Saying that something else is really really dangerous and most people do it so this slightly dangerous thing is ok is a strange argument imo.
Also if you NEED alcohol to unwind rather than it being something you enjoy but can manage without you are alcohol dependant. The op hasn't suggested this is the case with her dh.