In thinking that if you won't go out alone at night because you've got a vagina, you are actually a bit pathetic?

[solidgoldbrass]

Because, statistically, if you have a vagina, you are far more at risk of being murdered if you stay at home If your home has a man in it. Yet time and time again there's this 'Waa, waa, I need an armed escort or a male owner to protect me if I'm ever going to set a foot out of doors after dark. It's so unreasonable to expect me to use public transport or walk anywhere...'

MyFirstSpanishHoliday - Why criticise AnyFucker's name and then use the word fucking in your own posts? And why bring her into this at all when she hasn't (AFAIK) posted a single word on this thread?

I've reported your last post by the way, not because I am friends with SGB , I am not, but because there was no call for it.

*a meaningless word

I feel obliged to say this and I wasn't going to.

My friend's brother was attacked and had his head kicked in. Literally. He died. coming out of a club at 2.30 am looking for his mates. For his mobile and his wallet. Which had fuck all money in it anyway.

So, if my DS now feels uneasy coming out of a club much less walking home, does that make him pathetic? SGB would you tell my friend's parents and extended family they are pathetic to feel they should have picked him up?

My first post:

^Oh shame on you, SGB for blaming women for perfectly reasonably being afraid of male violence.

And shame on those of you who have used SGB's oafishness in this case, to attack feminists and use this thread to gleefully go in for your usual pathetic anti-feminist crap.

How come you're not saying that this sort of thing is what gives morris-dancers a bad name? If a christian, or a communist, or a darwinist, posted rubbish like this, would it be because they were a christian, or a communist, or a darwinist? No it wouldn't, it would be because they were a tactless person.

But don't let that stop your stream of anti feminist shit, will you^

So tell me where I changed my tone MJ. I believe that my very first post is quite clear that I don't agree with the tone or some of the content of SGB's OP.

But don't let that stop you misrepresenting what I've said will you.

Oh that would be the post that made other posters than myself pull you for calling others anti feminist, point out that SCG was posting as a feminist and not a morris dancer or an atheist, etc, and so on and so forth

everyone on this thread is capable of using the scoll facility and reading for themselves, or are you another poster who wants to insult the intelligence of mumsnetters and think they cant read for themselves.

Me I wouldnt have thought your first post was something to copy paste and be proud of, but then I like to think I have some empathy.

*SGB - have ds climbing on me.

but you know Basil, why let other posters posting about their traumatic experiences stop you from ripping into them with your same old, tired old, insults.

I am so bored and sad with seeing it all degenerate into the usual name-calling and personal attacking.

Who cares what men are up to out on the streets? It's much more fun to sit on here, digging at each other.

Fight them, not each other.

I'm off now, I can't take any more of the depressing nitpicking and she said she said.

totally dont feel obliged to say anything, or share anything, for some we want to share, others are skirting their pain and others - simply dont want to go out alone, be they male, female or someone in between.

That is our right as individuals.

I am very saddened to read your story. Another piece of mindless, unecessary violence and a salient reminder that these things happen to both sexes.

I dont know how you get over the loss of a child and my heart goes out ot his parents.

Hully you are right.

Everyone else, I apologise unreservedly for my part in name calling.

not just everyone else, Hully too. xx

At what point had I called you personally anti feminist in that first post MJ? And where is the laying into people who had posted traumatic experiences?

You recognised yourself and your behaviour, didn't you. And you owned it.

You still haven't told me where I changed my tune; because you know you were lying about that and you're not going to acknowledge it.

Now you're deflecting from that attack on me, by pretending that I'm attacking you personally. I'm not. I'm attacking your arguments. If all you are interested in is attacking me because I don't show you the deference you want, please just stop addressing me because I find your behaviour distasteful.

Sorry MJ I have been trying to stay away from this thread but i can't as it is spawned from my thread the other day.

Fucking leave it alone Basil, will you, you're sounding "pathetic".

totally I find the hide button most effective when a thread gets too much for me, it reduces the temptation to get sucked into it.

You look after yourself - dont be drawn into things that are painful for you, if you want to share/post post away but dont feel you have to defend yourself, or your friend.

xxxxxx

(am dishing out lots of hugs and kisses today)

LOVE is the way!

No Worms, as long as MJ continues to attack me and misrepresent my posts, I won't leave it alone.

Except to go and make the dinner I suppose.

Just the point of the original thread wasn't about her walking home because she was scared it was because she was knackered and had a lot on her plate.

(BTW I've butted out now)

But anyone can be justifiably afraid - male or female - and if part of the steps they as a sensible free-thinking human being who knows their own mind, decides to take to keep themselves safe (or safer) is not to walk home alone but to get a taxi, or a lift, then who the fuck else's business is it?

I used to be with an abusive man. I was threatened. Shouted at. Hit. Emotionally abused. In my own home.

That in no way relates to a decision to walk home or not to keep myself safe from a risk I perceive of being attacked.

The plural of anecdote is not data.

Everyone is free to make their own choices and if they don't impact on you and have fuck all to do with you then butt out. (As I was told and have done on my other thread)

But it's not just women who are attacked. And to call someone who weighs the risk and decides to make a different decision to the one you would make "pathetic" is inflammatory, rude, offensive and just downright unfeeling and lacking in any kind of empathy.

And I'm hiding the thread now.

LOL OJ you're not a million miles from the truth...

Sorry everyone.

Basil, no sorry, I didnt recognise anything in my behaviour, just the same old tired insults you and your usual crowd throw. Dont you see, I know I am not an anti feminist, a mysoginist, or any of the other things that you lot have been throwing at me because you didnt want to believe my step children were being emotionally abused, because you didnt want to take on board, that just maybe I was telling the truth.

Leave me alone, I have absolutely got bigger things on my mind than you, my family is in a dark place I PRAY TO GOD you and no one else in your family or your life has to be in.

I am trying to cope with that and this thread has provided some distraction for me as well as some small way of sharing my pain.

You and others like you - should be ashamed, I and my famliy, we are the THE VICTIM you are referring to with your statistics and yet you show us no empathy and expect us to believe you really understand the statistics you are throwing around.

All they are to you is numbers on a forum, to me and lots of they other posters on here, they are our lives.

and now, having been reduced to floods of tears after holding to together for the whole of one afternoon, I am off to try to compose myself before my bautiful child comes back.

Basil, I cant even say I hope that one day you understand those figures you bandy about, because I wouldnt wish this sort of understanding on anyone.