In thinking that if you won't go out alone at night because you've got a vagina, you are actually a bit pathetic?

[solidgoldbrass]

Because, statistically, if you have a vagina, you are far more at risk of being murdered if you stay at home If your home has a man in it. Yet time and time again there's this 'Waa, waa, I need an armed escort or a male owner to protect me if I'm ever going to set a foot out of doors after dark. It's so unreasonable to expect me to use public transport or walk anywhere...'

YABU and a little bit odd in my opinion.

YANBU. I agree completely.

Tis true, if not very succinctly put.

Yep, Yabu and a little weird as previous poster said

We all assess risk differently, we have all had different experiences, we live in different places.

Should we all do what you do, no I don't think so.

You know it's probably not advisable for anyone to walk down a dimly lit country lane at midnight on their own male or female. Risk of being run over in that situation would be far greater than being murdered.

No, the statistics don't depend on that. Your personal experience does, but the statistics don't.

Well put . Yanbu

YANBU and it is fucking annoying that women have been so socialised to feel terrified about this (I have been told off by female friends for walking home alone at night, with qualifiers like 'oh but you're wearing shapeless clothes so it's probably ok' ). Also when men you have been on maybe a couple of dates with pester you about walking you home so you'll be safe from all the eeeevil rapists, when in fact it's statistically more likely they are going to harm you than some random stranger. It's ridiculous. Esp when it's about quiet areas- the fact that there's hardly anyone around should surely be a clue that it's going to be pretty safe unless you have some illness that makes you need constant attendance, surely? /has walked around alone in the dark many times in my life and is still alive

Just rather not take the chance of being mugged/raped/murdered. Sorry if that seems unfeminist. It isn't btw. Fwiw I take responsibility for my own safety, and don't expect an escort. Having my own transportation helps.

I also lock my doors and windows, how weak of me!

Sausages, agree completely with you

I suppose those statistics all depend which man you have in your home though, doesn't it?

Indeed. If your home contains your loving, would ever lay a hand on you, partner then you're much more at risk outside.

You're weird. I use public transport at night, buses, trains the lot. I do stay out late sometimes and come home alone. I do it but I can't say I feel particularly safe walking home through dimply lit lanes where I live at night, if I've been out late.

Not weak at all sausages.

But I have met person after person who either refuses to walk somewhere alone after dark (and so often gets expensive taxis/disturbs a partner/friend or relative to haul out and get them/walk them home) OR tells ME off for walking about 'all by myself' after dark - including having my housekeys taken from me until I consented to get in the taxi they wanted to call me for the 10 minute walk home and other totally unacceptable situations.

I get called silly, reckless, and told I shouldn't be allowed to go out - my DP has been told he shouldn't LET me and harangued for not coming out to get me.

Taking responsibility for yourself is something completely different.

i picked up a lone male hitchhiker at about 2am one morning on a deserted A road miles from anywhere, when i was alone with my vagina in my car. i'm still alive and everything. everyone i mentioned it to had an instant coronary.
yanbu.

I was being ironic MissCoffee

YABU. There has been a murder, a robbery and an assault within half a mile of my house and the stupid council have switched the street lighting off to save money. An ex colleague of mine was murdered on a first date.

It's not about making a feminist point by going out alone, it's about self preservation now that I have two DCs. Sad, yes, but true.

Is this where everyone is now going to try and out testosterone everyone else and make people feel small and insignificant because they dare to admit they don't like walking home alone at night?

I take it you all have the physical strength and wherewithall to fight someone off? or perhaps you light yourself up to walk down that dark lane so cars can see you and not hit you?

possibly rather crudely worded but yes, i agree with you OP

Although pmsl at the notion of being "allowed" to go out!

YANBU
I have two DDs and expect to have this discussion with DH.

I realise that. I was trying to contrast personal responsibility and self awareness with sheer scaremongering and a ridiculous distortion of risk.

YANBU, I'm regularly amazed by the feebleness of quite a lot of women.

YAB like totally U!

I would rather stay safe than prove a point that women don't need an armed escort.

I don't walk anywhere alone at night because I have been followed and approached as a child.

YABU and naive to think that there is no risk of being harmed or robbed when out alone IMO.

We need to be realistic and accept the fact that there are some terrible characters out there capable of anything.