In thinking that if you won't go out alone at night because you've got a vagina, you are actually a bit pathetic?

[solidgoldbrass]

Because, statistically, if you have a vagina, you are far more at risk of being murdered if you stay at home If your home has a man in it. Yet time and time again there's this 'Waa, waa, I need an armed escort or a male owner to protect me if I'm ever going to set a foot out of doors after dark. It's so unreasonable to expect me to use public transport or walk anywhere...'

Oh, Stratters. How fucking terrible. I'm just...God, how fucking terrible. So sorry for what you and everyone else on this thread have gone through.

Of course we should be able to walk naked through a dark alley if we want to, but there are crazy fucking people out there. Any child who knows enough to look for cars should be able to walk around any town or city...but most parents won't let them at a young age because the horror of what could happen is too great.

And as someone who has been raped, I know how terrible it can be, in fact how much worse it could have been. So, as I said, I walk everywhere, but I do with a taser and pepper spray, and if I lived in a larger city I probably wouldn't. And people who have lived through some of these things and come out sane on the other side are, in fact, the very opposite of pathetic.

Any woman who ignores her interal instinct to prove her feminist beliefs is a fool.

To think the risk of being raped is not a real risk that needs to be considered is ridiculous, just as thinking it's the only thing that can happen to a woman walking down the street, or even that it only happens to a woman.

In the last few months I have heard 2 reports were a woman has been left by her attacker only for someone else to find her and attack her also.

It is a real risk, it's not tge only risk. To ignore risks to prove a point is cutting your nose off and I don't think will give you any comfort if tge worst were to happen.

Sarah I'm glad you have posted your story.

It's a terrible, terrible thing to have happened to you (and your family), there is a measure of comfort (selfishly to me) that despite literally being in hell, you have survived and are here posting about it.

Xxxx

I don't go out on my own around here after dark. There has been murders, two months ago there were two. Both males that were murdered. There have been rapes. My local store was recently held up at knife point. My house has had two attempted break ins and my shed broken into twice. It has nothing to do with having a vagina and everything to do with having common sense living in such a crap area.

Sarah I am sorry to read about what happened to you

I totally agree that anyone who doesn't want to walk alone shouldn't have to - everyone has the freedom to make that choice.

Some people on here are acting as if it is a bad idea to walk by yourself at night - I don't live in the nicest area, and there are parts that I avoid if I can, but I don't have the choice not to leave the house sometimes. Of course there's a risk involved, but honestly, the risk is worth it for me when the alternative if sitting at home afraid to go out.

((Stratters))

You are very brave sharing. Attempted rape for me in that taxi that night years ago was bad enough. The Doors was playing in the cassette tape. I shudder when i hear that band. :(

Yellowraincoat but you haven't been raped, have you?

I think it is particularly sad that SGB has opened an AIBU, ignored everyone's responses because it conflicts with her own and not shown a modicum of compassion for people who have shared their intensely personal traumas in order to try and support their own responses to her.

We don't all have to agree but some humanity and compassion could at least be shown - seems not if it is felt she will somehow be compromising her perceived and self-righteous stance.

Pisses me 'right' off.

Sarah I am really sorry you have had such a traumatic experience but I am so glad you are here today.

She/He didn't state experience of attack at night so shouldn't judge others who also did not. 'The some people on this thread' who are frightened to go out or simply choose not to for reasons of personal safety or past attack (s) shouldn't be implied to be frightened for nothing. That is incredibly offensive.
~They may have very good reasons but chose not to declare or explain.

I think it's a very pertinent question to ask, actually. Not a very palatable one, but certainly relevant.

And thank you for all your kind words. :)

I will either use my car or take a taxi andmeet in a public place, at night.

If that makes me a feminist bashing, pathetic individual then so be it!

I wouldn't judge other women for their methods of personal safety, day/night.

I think it is pathetic to do so and very odd.

I don't see any force in asking that question. It was far less forceful than having some stranger on the internet shove their opinions in your face. Yes, there's the option to ignore the thread, but then there's also the option to ignore the post. When you comment you open yourself up to others questions and opinions, and if you post on a thread like this you should really expect it.

I do not see how being disrespectful to posters who choose not to declare their experiences/reasons for not venturing out alone at night is any less respectful for judging posters who do have valid reasons!!
Like for like.

It wasn't an offensive question in the context of this thread.

I actually think trying to speak on behalf of other posters as if they don't know their own minds is offensive - yellow could have said herself if she was upset by the question.

I still get into a taxi even though I was almost raped by a taxi driver in his taxi.

What that make me? Superwoman?

Shouldn't it all go a bit more like this?

All women should be able to walk without fear wherever they choose, day or night.

Some women have had appalling experiences that have led to them choosing not to do so. Those women should be loved and supported.

We should all be working towards the common goal of making the first statement a fact, whilst acknowledging that sometimes damage goes too deep for some to ever feel it possible.

I would personally like to know if any of the posters calling women pathetic have ever lived in a truly dodgy area.

And if they say yes, I say bollocks, because I cannot believe anyone who has firsthand knowledge of living (not driving through but living) in a properly hardcore area would be so naive about the real risks women do face.

Waves some love at Hully

Hully that's a start, but it's not just women with bad experiences who are trying to be careful, it could also be women living in really dodgy areas, or neighbourhoods where there have been a string of attacks lately...

And I don't really need to be loved or supported, I would just like people to respect my choices, because really it's got fuck all to do with them anyway.

ok dreaming

All women should be able to walk without fear wherever they choose, day or night.

Some women have had appalling experiences that have led to them choosing not to do so. Those women should be loved and supported.

Some women live in dodgy neighbourhoods or areas where attacks are common and choose not to risk being a statistic. Thier choice should be understood and respected.

We should all be working towards the common goal of making the first statement a fact, whilst acknowledging that sometimes damage goes too deep for some to ever feel it possible.

I just find the concept that when I lived with an abusive man whose next pint of Stella was more important than me - and I was alone at night in streets and taxis - that's a better scenario than now I am with my beautiful husband who loves me to pieces and so would rather give me lifts.

Call me old fashioned - but I wouldn't actually want to be with a man who couldn't be arsed to pick me up late at night.