In thinking that if you won't go out alone at night because you've got a vagina, you are actually a bit pathetic?

[solidgoldbrass]

Because, statistically, if you have a vagina, you are far more at risk of being murdered if you stay at home If your home has a man in it. Yet time and time again there's this 'Waa, waa, I need an armed escort or a male owner to protect me if I'm ever going to set a foot out of doors after dark. It's so unreasonable to expect me to use public transport or walk anywhere...'

why is any feminist responsible for what sgb says or doesn't say?

i am happy to engage in any discussion made in good faith, but i'm not going to take responsibility for anyone's posts or opinions but my own

it seems weird to expect me to, tbh

MJ at the point I posted there were around 250 posts. A number of have heartbreaking personal stories in them. You want me to acknowledge every one of them?
I posted about the issue and I agree with SGB's view. I agree with the widely held feminist position on violence in the home. I think this thread shows just how skewed the perception of violence against women is, in society at large. I'm sorry that you have clearly been so upset by this but we cannot stop discussing this because you personally don't like it. There's a lot more on this thread than the one word SGB used.

Trying to explain someones point for then is taking responsibility.

Im going to smash a few plates, will be more cathartic.

I was attacked by a total stranger

my own personal experience doesn't invalidate the fact that on average, women are more likely to be attacked by someone they know. the fact that i have a lovely dh does not invalidate the fact that for many many women the person who attacks them is their partner

Well do you know what Northern lurker - maybe youncouldnhave acknowledged every sad story someone posted.

Made it real and not a bunch of statistics.

It's easy to copy, paste and amend a post you have made in various guises a thousand times before. Personalising it - now that's the difference between stats and empathy.

What rubbish. I'm a hairy feminist but yabu. None of your business if I stay in or go out or why, is it?

How utterly absurd to suggest that I should be more worried by the threat at home than the threat from strangers in the dark. I have actually met my DP! Haven't met those strangers though.

My DP categorically isnt going to assault me, sorry.

So you agree that women who are afraid are "pathetic" then Northern ?

Really?

it's almost like no one is reading anyone else's posts anymore

Thanks Artex.

Morriszap love it!

"but just once I'd love to see one feminist on this site actually call to task another for the way they word things instead of trying to soften their posts and explain for them."

There are many posts telling the OP that her wording was crass and insensitive. Or do you think we should all be telling her that she was entirely and utterly wrong in every respect, even if we don't think she was?

This is ok actually because it's only stuff I've thought for years.

I have spent years of my life being called anti feminist on this site by various posters. I don't actually agree - having met, worked with and been involved on a professional level, with some truly inspirational feminist, that feminism on this board is representative of feminism.

The women I meet mentor, provide support and role models (including myself in those three) and would not use some of the derogatory terms routinely used in feminism here.

They are amazing women in a male dominated world, genuinely out to better the lot of their gender.

Not liking the Mumsnet brand of feminism does not make someone anti feminist.

Oh and NorthernLurker how very dare you imagine that you can post on a talkboard without spending at least 4 hours going through every single post and acknowledging it.

That's your job doncha know. It's a serious business not to be taken lightly, agreeing with some of the content of a post, even if you may not agree with the tone or all of the content. You're neglecting your posting obligations here you know and I hope to see you rectify that in the future. Because that's what everyone else does.

Using every single opportunity you can to slag off feminism as a whole, does though MJ.

HTH.

I am utterly furious with how SGB has besmirched the good name of Morris Dancers.

I am shaking my bells in rage.

Northernlurker, I don't agree with your post because I think it's bollocks. No self-examination required here.

You cannot take group-level statistics and turn that into an individual statistical likelihood. Not every woman has the same probability of experiencing violence in her own home. That's not denial, that's math.

My problem with your argument and that of others is that it's simply too generalised. I've lived in dodgy areas my whole life, I've walked around at night no problem most of the time, then I lived in an area where kids threw bricks at my head and men tried to force their way into my building after me. So you bet I was happy whenever DH offered to meet me at the station.

So what am I? The brave feminist who walked around Tottenham estates at 3 am? Or the pathetic woman who had her husband walk her home?

Oh gosh, maybe I'm just a street smart gal who adjusts her behaviour according to thoughtful risk assessment and past experience.

You have no idea what other women are factoring into their decisions. Stop judging them and reserve your scorn for all the asshole men who force us to think about these things.

No Katie I don't think that. I do think that a woman who will not go out alone simply because of what she has heard might happen, who is convince that outside at night is dangerous because it's outside at night is seriously mistaken. I think that women who think they are at more risk from starangers outside the home than they are in the home are also mistaken. That doesn't mean that I think your dh - or mine- is about to beat us up.

MJ - I'm not really sure what you want from me at this point. I have made reference to your personal situation. I don't agree with your view of SGB's posting. I'm afraid you're just going to have to live with that.
I assume btw that 'It's easy to copy, paste and amend a post you have made in various guises a thousand times before. ' does NOT refer to my posting. I can assure you that is not the case if you were mistakenly assuming that about me.

Going by statistics;

Statistically most people on this thread think SGB was wrong in what she said.

So...she was wrong then?

In Your dreams basil - 90% of my posts on this boar are about step patently, unusually avoid the feminism section like the plague other than a lovely interesting conversation about Christianity and feminism.

5% of my posts are probably childbirth and maybe 4% about breast feeding.

Leaving about 1% for feminism.

Can you get any wittier?

@ Basil ^^

NL, I am not mistaken. I am more at risk from strangers outside the home than I am in it.

On what grounds can you possibly tell me otherwise?