To think that an apology by text/in a card isn't good enough

[DizzyCow63]

And if you have done something that really upsets people, you should at least pick up the phone or try to apologise in person?

Would like others opinions though, can't work out if I'm expecting too much.

If in the past they were supported of the secret wedding idea, then they were not upset about the wedding but not giving them a heads up before your big announcement.

This is where most of us believe where you went wrong. You should have taken them, or at least your mother, aside before you gave your news.

Did you have actual conversations about it? Was it

Dizzy's mum: When are you going to get married?
Dizzy: Oh, if we do, we'll do it in secret and tell everyone afterwards.

Change of subject/interruption/laughter.