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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To leave a message for DH's plastic vagina?

843 replies

Schnullerbacke · 05/01/2012 14:15

So we're moving soon and I just found the above mentioned in a bag in our shed. I want to leave a message with her, along the lines that at least she cannot talk back (he doesnt like my outspokenness and uncompliance) or 'easier than working on our marriage'. I know that it doesnt substitute for a proper talk between us but I really want to leave a message behind. So, any ideas welcome.
I am so going to close this account down when done

OP posts:
ShirleyKnottage · 05/01/2012 15:04

Those Real Doll things MrGin - are terrifying! Did you watch that documentary and those poor men - those poor men, they weren't well and I thought it was just blinking TRAGIC really. Apart from that really weird bloke who had like, 10, of them sort of stuffed in wardrobes and under beds and then went on a date AND TOLD THE POOR WOMAN ABOUT IT.

ArtVandelay · 05/01/2012 15:05

Oh lord, you are really reading into it now... A plastic vadge orgy in a wank shed.... Grin

Hullygully · 05/01/2012 15:06

OMG

The man in the red shirt is HOLDING HANDS with Bendy Wendy

Malificence · 05/01/2012 15:07

MrGin, there is a special forum for fleshlight afficianados we've
laughed our arses off discussed it on MN before.

ArtVandelay · 05/01/2012 15:07

I saw the real doll thing. I was haunted by the fact that they had to send them off to get refurbished and cleaned every now and then. Like what were they doing to them? Shock

MrGin · 05/01/2012 15:08

Shirley I didn't no. But I did , from another forum, follow a link to some guys holiday snaps and diary of his holiday with his 'ultra life like' doll.

It was sad and disturbing in equal measure. He actually met up with like minded men and their dolls.

Hullygully · 05/01/2012 15:08

I saw that an all, Shirl. Really really unspeakably sad.

Hullygully · 05/01/2012 15:08

we are going to need that link Mr Gin. Now.

Hullygully · 05/01/2012 15:09

Not to laugh at them of course, just to feel all sad and sympathetic and not snigger even one bit

MrGin · 05/01/2012 15:11

Hully. I dare not look for it right now ( at work )

TiggyD · 05/01/2012 15:11

They have sex with them Art. That's why all the dolls sit like Jordan with their knees apart. The long haired guy in the back row seems to have come with 2 girls to his left, and seems to be making a move for the one on his right. The stud!

Summer2012 · 05/01/2012 15:11

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by Mumsnet.

Binfullofmaggotsonthe45 · 05/01/2012 15:11

MrGin I feel very sorry for the chap in the check shirt on the RHS of the pic, who brought the "Tesco Value Doll" to the party.

I wonder if she felt uncomfortable and out of place amongst the others....at the very least she must have gone home feeling deflated....

Grin
IslaDoit · 05/01/2012 15:12

Post it to his mother. With a note introducing herself as his new girlfriend

Malificence · 05/01/2012 15:12

I need the brain bleach, now , there are online videos of men in action with those "gentleman's aids" Shock . They don't half squelch.

Hullygully · 05/01/2012 15:13

I'm going to ignore you Summer as it seems the only sensible course of action.

Just to help you out for the future, putting things in creepy wee brackets means you've called yourself a "sadcah", which of course is appropriate, but possibly not entirely what you intended.

MrGin · 05/01/2012 15:13

Hully.... I found it...... here

MrGin · 05/01/2012 15:14

I warn you though it's pretty weird.

Hullygully · 05/01/2012 15:16

I love you Mr Gin

The third line: "Additionally there was her stand"

I am in heaven

ArtVandelay · 05/01/2012 15:17

I know Tiggy its just that needing refurbishment and replacement parts suggests things get a bit wild

Hullygully · 05/01/2012 15:17

oh.my.god

the photo of the radar thing

and then Zara "stretching her legs"

MrGin · 05/01/2012 15:18

well that's Hully gone for the next hour or two.

Schnullerbacke · 05/01/2012 15:20

Summer - you're a dahrling! Glad you know me so well from this post.

Loving the idea of the fanny going travelling but since I'm always with the kids, it would be rather hard to implement.

I am LOVING the idea of having a dinner with it. Nicely laid table, lovely smelling food, dimmed lights, DH please pass the breadsticks (poking out from you know what). Better still, use it as a birthday cake prop?

Wish I had more time to organise things. Could have set it up with motion sensors and when he goes near her, play Je'taime on the radio. Until I come up with something better, I have provisionally popped some sexy undies on her and basically said that she was cold. Also left a post-shag cigarette, a little table party popper and a hanky. That will have to do until I get better props.

I'm glad so many of you understand where my shock is coming from. After all, its not everyday you walk past 'Pussies 'R' Us' and get thereby accustomed seeing it.
And its not a case of women are allowed vibrators and men nothing. Its simply to do with how things are in our relationship. Yes our sexlife is crap but he is also not willing to address it (and I am not saying its all his fault). Jealous of her? Yes, in the sense that he was willing to spend time and effort into buying her and not sorting things out with me.

You lot are a very creative bunch - that really should be harnessed somehow....

OP posts:
Binfullofmaggotsonthe45 · 05/01/2012 15:20

Jesus she didn't take any photos of her partner on holiday....the selfish bitch...all about her...too busy choosing her bikini for the stampede for the pool no doubt.