To leave a message for DH's plastic vagina?

[Schnullerbacke]

So we're moving soon and I just found the above mentioned in a bag in our shed. I want to leave a message with her, along the lines that at least she cannot talk back (he doesnt like my outspokenness and uncompliance) or 'easier than working on our marriage'. I know that it doesnt substitute for a proper talk between us but I really want to leave a message behind. So, any ideas welcome.
I am so going to close this account down when done

Should I be worried? DH is measuring the kitchen and calculating storage potential

and jiggling breasts

I think he needs to stop with the jiggling otherwise they'll all end up looking like Lolly with the Lolling eye

OMG THAT WAS BRILLIANT!!!! This Morning, that is - and a stark reminder of why I must get out of Urrfordshire and back to the real world asap

The two he'd made were pretty good, I thought - they had 'proper' faces & bodies. Wasn't too impressed by the dancing one, though.

I've spent the whole day looking at silicone women! Feels like a trip to LA
Thank you, Mr. Gin, you'll never know how much depth you've added to my life. Neither will I.

Okay, in tribute to mumsnet dolly week I am namechanging....

Anyone joining me? I suggest -

Anyfuckerfordollypingpong
Hullygollyfuckmydolly
Cheerful Yank you should just change your name to Hollie Hobbie as she was a home lovin all American doll.

Oh ffs I'm going to have to name change now you bastards

Or I could be "CheerfullyYankingNeckHooksToGetARealisticPose"

It has a certain something, you much admit.

About CheerfullyYankingOffOvertheSiliconValley

Got myself a cryin', talkin', sleepin', walkin', real doll.
Gotta do her best to please me, just cos she's a rubber doll.
Got a rovin' dick and that's why I stick it in her hole.
Got the one and only walkin', talkin', plastic doll.
Take a look at her hair, it's real,
And if you don't believe what I say, just feel.
I'm gonna lock her up in a shed, so no Mascara head,
Can steal her away from me.

etc

Love it Cheerful....

Will it allow you all the letters?

When someone said they could squeeze a rubber boob and get it to talk like Mrs T...i'm afraid I read that completely wrong and as MR T.

"I pity the fool that wants to fondle my rubber vag...."

"you ain't gettin' me in no wardrobe fool"

Etc

That's what I thought it said too!

GurleyHot for me I think.

Yes love it.....Shirley.

I really think it would be a lovely tribute. TiggyD can you incorporate Wizard somehow? Or Tony?

QueenOfRubberDollsofDarkness = QORDOD

PMSL @this thread.

This Morning! OMG. Amazed Schofe wasn't rolling around on the carpet gaffawing, like I was.

I've seen it all now...

5magazine.wordpress.com/2009/11/02/doggie-lover-doll-by-pet-smilling

...a female canine manufactured in soft rubber with a silicone vagina and an easy to clean reservoir. The product also comes with a tube of water-based intimate lubricant, to increase the useful life of the doll.

Feels sick just thinking about having to clean the doggy-wanky reservoir

Fantastic lyric, Tiggy. You're on fire today!

Dunno, Schnullerbacke - my friends had a dog that used to cum all over my sleeve. Every bloody time I saw it. I'd have gladly bought one of those, to give their mutt something else to shag!

I really loved that Gallery picture with the blow-up dalmation. It was the plastic cherry tree in the background that made it perfect - a whole, perfect scene made of plastic. Well, perfect apart from the dog's nose up the doll's fanny. That lowered the tone.

I've read the whole thread, links too and I'm just...no. Really, no.

Got to name change though, bloody hell.

I'm sorry to hear about this - it's obviously made you feel like poo. Men and their sexual urges is a tricky one, especially when things aren't great in a marriage. I came across my husband watching porn one night and, while I understood that it's something lots of men do, it did leave me feeling inadequate and wishing I felt like a sex goddess instead of a sleep-deprived, frumpy old mother. Men have needs, obviously!

Looking on the bright side, it's much better that he turns to a piece of plastic than another woman. I would avoid leaving a note and either raise the subject with him calmly when you're both having a good moment or maybe try to catch him in the act instead! However, if you do opt for the note, toddlerone's idea is BRILLiANT!! Good luck with this. x

Oh. I have seen that video.

RUN FOR YOUR LIFE LOVE.

(hundreds of eyes turn towards Harriet.)

They take them out round Herefordshire too.

Claims he doesn't shag ....

I just want to stand beside CheerfulYank in wholesome union.

I, too, love James Herriot and sewing.

I was on the phone to my dad one day:
Dad: blah,blah...hoovering the leaves..bread's gone up...ha ha ha ha
Me: what dad?
Dad:ha ha ha
Me:dad!
Dad: ha ha ha, Sue (DM) ha ha you've got to see what Alan's doing ha ha
Me: dad!!!!
Dad (mum in background): both laughing
Me:hello!!!!
Dad: that stupid sod from next door is walking down the road ha ha ha with a blow up doll. He's signing to it.

My dad went to the local pub later and Alan had been sitting at a table with the doll, talking to it/her. He was very drunk. They had to ask him to leave.

The house he was taking her home to when my DM and DF saw him had his wife inside. Don't suppose that was an easy conversation.

To OP:
Leave a message

"all that meat and no potatoes".