To be sick to fucking death of people assuming my daughter was an accident???

[Neuroticnatty]

There's 11 months between my 2 children and I am so fucking dick of people assuming we weren't careful or she must have been unwanted because there's only a small gap.
I actually had an old lady on the bus last week say to me " oh bless you, you're just one of the unlucky ones I guess, did you consider abortion? Having 2 so close together must be a living hell "
Ummm...no.
But having to sit next to such an ignorant bitch is.

YANBU. What did you say to the woman on the bus?

thats so rude!
people assume dc5 is an accident ...well actually she was but a much loved and wanted one!
whats worse is when they find out she is another girl and say "oh no!"

How rude. Politely correct them.

did you consider abortion?

Really?

My chin appears to have developed an itch

I have the opposite, I have 15 years between my eldest and youngest dd's, and I get fed up with the 'ooh, poor you' and 'how silly' etc.

Smile and ignore, smile and ignore ...

And a little respect for your elders wouldn't go amiss - what she said to you was daft, but she was taking an interest and showing some human concern. I don't see that that invites such vitriolic language.

Congrats, BTW. As someone who's only been able to have one child, I'm envious!

should have asked if she ever considered surgery.

ive got two very close together.people used to make assumptions,as they got older people assumed they were twins.as i got older i stopped listening.out of my 3 only the youngest was planned the others were suprises(well not that much obviously,i didnt use protection so it makes sense!).

fwiw i found bringing up and caring for 2 close together alot easier than when i had the youngest a few years later!

how strange, in all my years as a mum, with 3 kids very close in age, I have never ever come across anyone who made personal comments about me or my children

maybe i am just lucky - joins EauDeLaPoisson in the itchy chin area

ignorant bitch wasnt disrespecting her elders.it was pointing out that the lady in question was an ignorant bitch.

Really annoying, I got the same with DS as he was born 3 months before our wedding (which was booked before he was conceived), he was very much wanted and meticulously timed . My mum even told the bloody florist he was an accident, I wish I had the gall to correct her at the time.
It was also the most common response I got to my miscarriage, as if it makes a difference and women who lose unplanned babies aren't as upset or something.

I think the OP might have embelished her conversation for effect!

What kind of person would ask a complete stranger if they'd considered abortion??!!

I can completely get people assuming she was an 'accident' and being rude enough to say so though!!

Presumably the old lady only knew about the 11m gap because you told them? Wasn't a nice thing to say to you but, if you don't want nasty comments, best not to provide the ammo.

Jim Bob

Folk girl, if you can fully understand people thinking that and saying so you are just as ignorant.

As for respect for elders, maybe you should have asked hat I said before making judgments.
As I actually said : no she was planned and we are very lucky.
Then I got off the bus and walked the last 5 stops home.

I'm not exaggerating. Some old people are incredibly rude and horrible, as are some young ones.

Sorry, I don't believe the "old lady on the bus" story.

Ooooooooooooohhhhhhhhhhhhh, i've not heard reference to 'chin wag' in years.

I got the bus to sainsbos this very morn

I sat down till i got to my stop then got off - Amazing!

Neuro I meant that as a complete phrase. Perhaps I should rephrase "I can completely understand that some people would assume it was an accident and be rude enough to say so" because some people are that rude and will come out with the most outrageous, ill-considered nonsense!!

I didn't mean "I can completely understand that someone would assume she was an accident" oh and some of them might be rude enough to say so.

I wouldn't make any assumption of the sort personally! Didn't mean to offend. If the abortion comment really happened then I am very at that, primarily because I can't imagine what would have to be going through someone's head for them to come out with that! Some people are just rude.

If I've offended I'm sorry.

Believe it, don't believe it. It happened.
You wouldn't need to ask to know the age gap is small, I have a 1 year old and a newborn. Duh.
And the lady had been moaning about immigrants for the first part of the journey to a friend sitting behind her so if she's that nasty in general why is it so surprising that she would ask if abortion was considered?

I don't believe the 'old lady on the bus' story either. Too outrageous. Try something just a tad more subtle next time OP.

'chinny reckon' we used to say at school, now we just say "can you smell burning?"

a year after having my dd my friend told me I should have had an abortion in a very similar matter of fact just popped up in converstaion kind of way..she is no longer a friend.