To ask if I'm being OTT

[Wittsend13]

Now I've always stated I don't want DS on solids or anything other than his formula until he is ready for more ie cries when he's finished his bottle, wants more and is drinking at least 7oz.

My parents who I live with are well aware these are my wishes as recently we've discussed this and I gave in reluctantly to letting mum feed DS a rusk mashed into his milk. He's learning to eat it and is doing pretty well.

Roll on to yesterday, I asked the parents if I could go out and if they wouldn't mind babysitting. No problem. So off I go enjoy the new year and come back this morning.

This evening, I over heard mum discussing she gave DS Ice cream.. Now I've gone a bit mad as they're clearly not respected my wishes. I've told them its full of sugar and cows milk which isn't recommended for children under 1. They think they don't have to discuss with me and that there are millions of children who grew up on cows milk blah blah blah.
I'm royally pissed off that my wishes were thrown out the window here. I tried explaining had DS been a bit older, I wouldn't have minded as much. They tell me government guidelines are a load of waffle and that what do they know.

For my own peace of mind please will you tell me if I'm being unreasonable or if they are?

Well, it's not ideal, but a small amount of ice cream won't have done him any harm.

How old is your ds?

Cows milk is fine under the age of 1, just not as a main drink.

Your parents have obviously gone behind your back so I too would be annoyed, but I don't really know what royally pissed off entails so can't really say if I think IYABU or not.

While I'm sure your DS enjoyed his ice cream, and they enjoyed giving it to him...he's your child not theirs and they need to learn to respect your wishes I think.

DS is 5 months. I'm royally pissed as its a long line of things they do regarding him that I ask they don't. The way they see it is I'm in their house so I've got to do whatever they said regardless if I like it or not. I know it may not of done him any harm but it's the principle.

I think maybe they are just doing what they did with you, guidelines change all the time, and they were also maybe jus offering ds a little treat to celebrate new years. I can see why you are feeling like you do, but they won't have done any harm and it was a little ice cream, not burger and chips.

I would freak out!

Ah, so it's not just ice cream, that's just the latest. Do you live with them?

But formula is powdered cows milk, so I fail to understand your objection.
YABU.

Aah well that is different, if they are doing things a lot that you are not happy with, then yes I can see why your so pissed!

Ah, yes, I see that you do live with them. Any chance you can move out?

I can understand why you are angry. To me the lack of respect for your wishes would be the main issue. No a bit of ice cream may not do too much harm but surely it had occured to them that as you'd discussed feeding at length previously it was important to you. How can you trust them with your DS again?
YANBU

PS Your not Helen are you? Was the ice-cream in question from Ambridge Organics?

Time to move out I think!

when it comes to family and inlaws, my only advice is to pick your battles :)

Over your DCs childhood they'll do a lot that you'd rather they didn't. You need to decide whether this is one of the issues that is non-negotiable, or whether you don't mind letting it slide

If you are so bothered by gov guidelines why not wait till he is 6 months to wean. End of. Plus rusk mashed into milk sounds pretty fucking last century to me.

As far as disrespecting your wishes, you sort it now or it'll get far far worse.

YANBU I'd be really mad for all the reasons you've stated and also because if and when you were to give him his first taste of ice cream you'd want it to be as a treat with you. I'd be really angry too.

I would have freaked out too.

Haha it wasn't organic and I'm not Helen. Moving out isn't an option as yet as I start my new job next week and I'm about to role on the council list. They live in the middle of no where where there isn't any public transport so i am relying on them a bit at the moment. I've got two choices here, I either jack the job in and stay on benefits and bring DS up myself or I bite my tongue, work and they look after him.

I hope I'm not coming across as ungrateful I'm not at all. I'm just so fed up of not being allowed to have a say in my sons life and if I do, I've to take him and look after him full time. I guess I just feel like I'm being black mailed into their way or the highway.

Rusks are full of sugar too - even the 'no added sugar' ones are made with concentrated fruit juice or other sweeteners.

I don't think ice-cream is a vast amount worse than formula and rusk.

I wouldn't give either of them to a 5 month old.

YANBU. Your child, your rules for parenting and care. I totally understand that the small bit of ice-cream won't have harmed your DS, but the fact that they KNEW your wishes, and completely undermined you and disregarded what you wanted for YOUR child is completely out of order. How disrespectful and wrong. I don't think it's a case of picking your battles necessarily, it sounds like they couldn't give a toss what you think or want because they're way is best in their eyes.
I agree that if the behaviour continues you should look at moving out if possible.

YANBU. There's nothing drastically wrong with a teaspoon of ice cream or a rusk mashed into milk now and again. There's nothing wrong with using your own instincts about what age to wean your child. There is something very wrong with your parents deliberately flouting your wishes - call them on it now, be clear, be firm.

is ice cream now a solid?

a tiny bit is hardly going to do any harm is it..

Slow burner I didn't even want him having a rusk. I had arguments after arguments but in the end I just gave in and said only that for the time being. I don't think he's in need of it but I gave in to save the arguments