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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To ask if I'm being OTT

157 replies

Wittsend13 · 01/01/2012 22:17

Now I've always stated I don't want DS on solids or anything other than his formula until he is ready for more ie cries when he's finished his bottle, wants more and is drinking at least 7oz.

My parents who I live with are well aware these are my wishes as recently we've discussed this and I gave in reluctantly to letting mum feed DS a rusk mashed into his milk. He's learning to eat it and is doing pretty well.

Roll on to yesterday, I asked the parents if I could go out and if they wouldn't mind babysitting. No problem. So off I go enjoy the new year and come back this morning.

This evening, I over heard mum discussing she gave DS Ice cream.. Now I've gone a bit mad as they're clearly not respected my wishes. I've told them its full of sugar and cows milk which isn't recommended for children under 1. They think they don't have to discuss with me and that there are millions of children who grew up on cows milk blah blah blah.
I'm royally pissed off that my wishes were thrown out the window here. I tried explaining had DS been a bit older, I wouldn't have minded as much. They tell me government guidelines are a load of waffle and that what do they know.

For my own peace of mind please will you tell me if I'm being unreasonable or if they are?

OP posts:
jaggythistle · 02/01/2012 08:15

whatever you do for a living it's still crap you are repeating, see my other post above.

NannyPlumIsMyMum · 02/01/2012 08:16

jaggythistle - you are wrong .
God there are some really arrogant posters on here .

NannyPlumIsMyMum · 02/01/2012 08:17

So what do you do for a living ? Are you a paediatric dietician ?

differentnameforthis · 02/01/2012 08:18

So I could have given my bottlefed dd1 solid food at any time I saw fit? 6 weeks? 2 months? OK!!

I don't care what you do for a living, that is dangerous thinking, sorry! You cannot give a baby at any age solids!

You v every other authority who says to wait for a multitude of reasons , I know where I get my info from.

Can you back it up with data?

mathanxiety · 02/01/2012 08:20

There are councils and benefits in Ireland, and council waiting lists too. And rusks.

jaggythistle · 02/01/2012 08:21

no.

what's your 'good authority' about then? I'm not the only one questioning it?

i don't just blindly say 6 months is it, i just know that the WHO guidelines are on their website and apply to all babies. the 3rd world countries thing is a myth that has been discussed often on here so, no I'm not being arrogant about it. :)

jaggythistle · 02/01/2012 08:23

i.e nanny could look on the website to see what she is repeating is not true.

NannyPlumIsMyMum · 02/01/2012 08:24

O lord - read the whole thread before you criticise.
I have never said wean from 2 months !
The kidneys and organs are able to tolerate solids from 17 weeks.
I suggest you read the whole thread before you wrongly jump on people .
Are you a health professional ?

NannyPlumIsMyMum · 02/01/2012 08:27

Exactly it's the WHO and NHS website !!!!!! What they say on their website is based on 3rd world countries .!!!

differentnameforthis · 02/01/2012 08:28

You said I have it on very good authority that there are no guidelines from WHO as to the best time for wean for bottle fed bottles which could lead people to believe that babies can be weaned at ANY TIME! Any time being...well any time. Your posts implies that babies can be given solids as soon as they are born, it doesn't say from 17 weeks, it doesn't say from 5,6, months it says NO GUIDELINES!!!

Are you a health professional?

jaggythistle · 02/01/2012 08:29

are you?

I've never heard from any source that all babies organs can tolerate food at 17 weeks, where has this come from? as far as i was aware it was more to do with the gut maturing and becoming less 'open' and porous.

jaggythistle · 02/01/2012 08:31

NHS = UK national health service, why would they base guidelines on 3rd world countries??

the WHO applies to the world, the clue is in the w.

NannyPlumIsMyMum · 02/01/2012 08:34

different how do you know it applies to all babies?
You just read things on official websites and believe them ?
It is fine to wean a baby after 17 weeks in terms of their body being able to cope with solids , and it not put too much stress on their organs ..
Some babies have to be weaned earlier for medical reasons.
There are no guidelines re the best time to wean for bottle fed babies .
The research was based on bf babies .

seeker · 02/01/2012 08:37

The who guidelines are for babies to have milk only diet til 6 months. And those guidelines do not "keep changing"- they have been the same for about 10 years, I think.

There are a few very specific medical conditions where weaning early is advised- a very few.

And yea, the op's parents should not have gon against her wishes, but she said yes to the rusk- so why should she not say yes to the ice cream? Both equally full of sugar........

NannyPlumIsMyMum · 02/01/2012 08:38

FGS yes unless they have a medical condition their organs can tolerate food at 17 weeks , just like we know that babies lungs are mature from 37ish weeks onwards.

NannyPlumIsMyMum · 02/01/2012 08:39

seeker I did say a very few .

NannyPlumIsMyMum · 02/01/2012 08:40

Ok I didn't say a very few but I actually meant rarely .

jaggythistle · 02/01/2012 08:41

as we have asked you- how do you know that all babies are magically ready at 17 weeks?

seeker · 02/01/2012 08:43

Where is the research about 17 weeks?

TandB · 02/01/2012 08:44

I am a bit taken aback at the suggestions that the OP has to just suck it up because she is getting help from her parents. The parents offered to help - she didn't go begging. And even if she did go cap in hand to them, they haven't purchased the right to make all the parenting decisions for this baby by giving help.

The OP is the parent - either her parents want to help her be the parent she wants to be to HER child, or they don't. And this isn't exactly something that should really be a major sticking point for them - the OP not wanting her child to have icecream is hardly abusive. It's not a situation where they can possibly be feeling that they need to step in for the good of the child, or a situation where the OP is making things unduly difficult for them in terms of caring for the child. They wanted to give the child a treat - doing so gave them pleasure but didn't actually benefit the child in any way. And yet they are willing to make this such a major issue that they are now refusing to help any more.

I am generally strongly of the "village to raise a child" view - I hate to hear about GPs being excluded by overprotective parents who can't bear any opinion but their own. But in this case the GPs are treating the child like a toy and using help as a bargaining tool to buy playtime with him.

And to be honest, the safe age to wean debate isn't terribly relevant here - this isn't a baby who appears to need weaning for any particular reason. Personally, I think the OP was a bit daft to give in on the rusk issue as it has probably given the GPs the impression that she isn't actually as firm on this issue as she says she is - but this is about icecream, not about a proper weaning process or decision.

TandB · 02/01/2012 08:47

My understanding of the research is that the internal organs of a baby MAY be ready from 17 weeks, but may also take longer, hence the 6 month safe guideline.

In any event, surely the point isn't whether weaning at 17 weeks doesn't put "too much stress" on a baby's digestive system or whether the baby can "tolerate" food at that age - surely the point is that unless a baby NEEDS food at 17 weeks or earlier for medical reasons or reasons of prematurity, it is safer to wait and there is no reason not to do so.

NannyPlumIsMyMum · 02/01/2012 08:48

The British Dietetic Association .

differentnameforthis · 02/01/2012 08:48

I never said anything about "all babies" Hmm

You are the one who is saying that there are NO guidelines for weaning bottle fed babies, insinuating that babies can be weaned whenever the parent likes/feels fit etc. Not me. And now yuo are saying that babies can tolerate food from 17 weeks. Is that corrected age, or not?

You are also the one who is so far refusing to point us towards this info that you have, or to answer if YOU are a health professional.

differentnameforthis · 02/01/2012 08:55

The Department of Health recommends exclusive breastfeeding until six months of age; all infants, breastfed and formula fed, should be weaned at six months. Some parents, however, may wish to wean earlier, and four months, or 17 weeks, should still be considered as the earliest age that weaning on to solids should be started. Babies who are born pre-term need to be weaned according to their individual needs, and advice should be sought from the dietitian and the medical team From Look for weaning leaflet

So, from this, you get that there are no guidelines as to when a bottle fed baby can be given solids? Because that is NOT what is being said here.

But what you are also overlooking is the first 2 lines are saying!

Are you a health professional?

jaggythistle · 02/01/2012 08:59

sorry for thread hijack OP!

it's just hard to see unsubstantiated guff posted like that. Blush

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