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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To ask if I'm being OTT

157 replies

Wittsend13 · 01/01/2012 22:17

Now I've always stated I don't want DS on solids or anything other than his formula until he is ready for more ie cries when he's finished his bottle, wants more and is drinking at least 7oz.

My parents who I live with are well aware these are my wishes as recently we've discussed this and I gave in reluctantly to letting mum feed DS a rusk mashed into his milk. He's learning to eat it and is doing pretty well.

Roll on to yesterday, I asked the parents if I could go out and if they wouldn't mind babysitting. No problem. So off I go enjoy the new year and come back this morning.

This evening, I over heard mum discussing she gave DS Ice cream.. Now I've gone a bit mad as they're clearly not respected my wishes. I've told them its full of sugar and cows milk which isn't recommended for children under 1. They think they don't have to discuss with me and that there are millions of children who grew up on cows milk blah blah blah.
I'm royally pissed off that my wishes were thrown out the window here. I tried explaining had DS been a bit older, I wouldn't have minded as much. They tell me government guidelines are a load of waffle and that what do they know.

For my own peace of mind please will you tell me if I'm being unreasonable or if they are?

OP posts:
OldLadyKnowsSantaClaus · 02/01/2012 01:06

Winter heating allowance and pensions are paid to expats of appropriate age in the EU, so yes, some Uk benefits are paid abroad. Dunno the OP's situation, but she did say at 00.28.28 that she left the UK.

BluddyMoFo · 02/01/2012 01:09

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

fit2drop · 02/01/2012 01:09

oh and To2012AndBeyondTheLimits on her 22:31:59 post makes a lot sense

BluddyMoFo · 02/01/2012 01:09

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Feminine · 02/01/2012 01:12

op said she was going to go to the council. Confused

Maybe she just used that word, so we would understand?

all a bit weird IMO.

fit2drop · 02/01/2012 01:22

BluddyMoFo Mon 02-Jan-12 01:09:28
I am soooo emigrating when I'm a pensioner then!

so soon !!! Wink

BluddyMoFo · 02/01/2012 01:25

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

flamegirl77 · 02/01/2012 01:59

I don't understand why people who are particular about following current advice on weaning get such a hard time on here. Especially when all they want is for their DC not to be given shite to eat! OP I would be annoyed too.

differentnameforthis · 02/01/2012 02:06

When you are financially independent you can make all the decisions. They are your parents and they are looking after you and provding a roof for your son

WTF?? So op has no say in what her son gets given/how he gets treated because she still lives with her parents? What a pile of bullshit. Would you say the same for me? I am a sahm, DH earns, so therefore provides for us all. Does that mean that he can do what he likes with the girls/feed them what he likes, give them whatever drinks he likes & I have no say? Hmm

OldLadyKnowsNothing · 02/01/2012 02:17

As a sahm, you do most of the childcare, so what you say, goes. Op will be delegating most of the childcare to her own parents, while living under their roof. Quite different situation, and IMVHO OP should take the job, save enough to get out asap and then run like the wind.

scottishmummy · 02/01/2012 02:28

yabu,the free baby sitting eg grandparents do own thing
if you want exacting and stick to the rules, you pay for it with baby sitter/ nanny

but well a mushed up rusk, why aren't you sweating that at. 5mth?

but tell you what if you are hoping to depend on gp goodwill for childcare then you got to pick your bttkles better. are you returning work,will they be your childcare?

differentnameforthis · 02/01/2012 03:13

That as maybe, but she is the parent & any one looking after her child, related or not, should have the common decency to do with her child what she asks & what they like, just because she asking them to care for her.

Again, because I look after my children more than my dh, does that mean if he asks me not to let them play with his tools, that I should allow them to, because I look after them the bulk of the time?

Also, SM, I used to look after my friend's ds (x2) a lot, a few yrs ago so she could complete her midwifery degree. They are both gluten intolerant, so she asked me to be careful what they ate. Because it was free childcare, would that have given me the right to feed them what I wanted to? NO, because I respect her as a parent & a friend & did what she asked.

Free childcare had fuck all to do with it. OP's parents do not respect her enough to bide by her wishes for her son. THAT is the main issue here, not free childcare, or a little bit of ice cream.

differentnameforthis · 02/01/2012 03:14

& not what they like,

Ihatecbeebies · 02/01/2012 03:30

I don't think you are being unreasonable, they didn't ask you beforehand even though he hasn't started on solids yet and they know it is against your wishes.

GwendolineMaryLacey · 02/01/2012 03:34

Ha. I just filled in an entire MN bingo card on sassy's first post. Fantastic! Yup, be grateful, free childcare, buy your own, vast assumptions made on little information...

Terrific, I can go to sleep now :)

iscream · 02/01/2012 03:42

To those wondering why she referred to council housing and benefits if she lives outside of the UK. You can collect "benefits" ( and get sub-subsidized housing in other countries too. I sometimes use "UK" words here, although not in the UK.

BluddyMoFo · 02/01/2012 03:52

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

xyfactor · 02/01/2012 06:09

This is another thread about children telling their parents what to do about everything.
Govt guidelines?
I asked my mother who was far more experienced.
I hope the OP enjoyed her new year while the grandparents babysat.

NannyPlumIsMyMum · 02/01/2012 07:27

xyfactor exactly .

NannyPlumIsMyMum · 02/01/2012 07:42

Yes, but dont you people get that WHO guidelines on weaning on based on babies in 3rd world countries - where lengthy breast feeding is advocated to minimise the risk of contracting diseases from the water etc,
I have it on very good authority that there are no guidelines from WHO as to the best time for wean for bottle fed bottles .
I think you need to relax.
Try to give your parents a break - they have done it all before.
Choose your battles with them .

jaggythistle · 02/01/2012 08:00

that's total crap about 3rd world countries being the basis for guidelines nanny. a well repeated myth. try the WHO website or NHS 'no rush to mush' info.

Bfing and starting complementary foods alongside milk at around about 6 months is recommended for all babies, no matter where they live. it's based on how babies gut develops, not how clean their water is.

i also agree that it's the attitude, not the wee bits of food that are the main issue here.

differentnameforthis · 02/01/2012 08:02

It's not about a child telling her parents "what to do about everything" at all! It is a thread about a PARENT, just like us, asking her child's carer to abide by her rules while they look after him. Which is what we all do, when we leave our child in someone else's care, isn't it? We have a set of rules for others looking after our children, that we expect to be adhered because we, as their PARENT have asked for it to be so. And we expect our rules to be enforced, regardless of whether we are paying for that service or not.

It makes NO bloody difference that it is her parents, it would be no different if it were a childminder....she asked them not to give her son solids/anything other than formula. She gave into a rusk, it would seem, under pressure & now they think it is OK to give him anything!

xyfactor I asked my dad about certain aspects of child raising, and listened to him on the ones I thought were valid for my child. However, certain things he allowed for us as children don't really apply today, so I won't be giving my child brandy in her milk to help her sleep, or disciplining her with a cane! Experience doesn't count for everything, sometimes instinct & what a mother wants for her child over rules experience, no?

differentnameforthis · 02/01/2012 08:04

I have it on very good authority that there are no guidelines from WHO as to the best time for wean for bottle fed bottles

Hmm forgive me if I don't believe that!

HandMini · 02/01/2012 08:10

Scottishmummy - your response is shocking. So, the OP only has a say in her child's upbringing if she cares for him herself or pays for child care? There is a really nasty attitude on this thread that seems to suggest that because OP goes out and whoops it up on NYE, she absolves all responsibility and authority for care of her child and should just suck up what her parents want. All this bollox about "well, you're living under their roof for free". So F'ing what? Doesn't give the parents a right to tell OP how to parent any more than to tell her how to dress/eat. OP should be applauded for taking a sensible approach when it sounds like it would be easier for her to say what the heck, go ahead granny.

NannyPlumIsMyMum · 02/01/2012 08:11

different
yes you obviously don't know what I do for a living
And I have nothing else to do but make things up Hmm .
It's actually true. Even if 1 person takes something from that fact then it's worthwhile me posting it.

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