To ask if I'm being OTT

[Wittsend13]

Now I've always stated I don't want DS on solids or anything other than his formula until he is ready for more ie cries when he's finished his bottle, wants more and is drinking at least 7oz.

My parents who I live with are well aware these are my wishes as recently we've discussed this and I gave in reluctantly to letting mum feed DS a rusk mashed into his milk. He's learning to eat it and is doing pretty well.

Roll on to yesterday, I asked the parents if I could go out and if they wouldn't mind babysitting. No problem. So off I go enjoy the new year and come back this morning.

This evening, I over heard mum discussing she gave DS Ice cream.. Now I've gone a bit mad as they're clearly not respected my wishes. I've told them its full of sugar and cows milk which isn't recommended for children under 1. They think they don't have to discuss with me and that there are millions of children who grew up on cows milk blah blah blah.
I'm royally pissed off that my wishes were thrown out the window here. I tried explaining had DS been a bit older, I wouldn't have minded as much. They tell me government guidelines are a load of waffle and that what do they know.

For my own peace of mind please will you tell me if I'm being unreasonable or if they are?

You seem to be rather stuck for the moment. Maybe you should focus on the new job and saving hard so you can get out asap. You're unlikely to change them to your way of thinking.

Yup, concentrate on moving out. At the moment they consider you to be a child and that their wishes overrule yours.

I'd be furious too. He's your child and they should respect your wishes to wean him (on to sensible, healthy food) when he (and you) are ready. My mil has often made suggestions that dc3 would like to try her juice or cake etc, but I think she has finally got the message that I don't want her eating those types of food yet and has backed off. Explain to your parents that the guidelines state that babies should be weaned at 6 months, and when you're ready you will introduce food you feel is appropriate.

Thanks for all the replies. I wish I could move now and take DS with me but I can't work and have him as they are the only people who can babysit while I'm working.

Mum should be home soon and no doubt she will want to tell me I'm a inexperience mum who knows nothing or maybe I should move out and take DS. I'll be back later to update you all.

Thanks again.

Yadnbu, the fact that ice-cream may or may not be healthy, that is not what's relevant here- your parents clearly went against your wishes whilst you weren't there... My mum also watches my dc whilst I work and despite me being adamantly clear that I do not wish my dc to have certain foods she gives them to him when I'm not there... This has included sugar in cereal which he now refuses to eat for me because I refuse to put sugar in it, and various sugary snacks. My dc has had to have teeth removed due to this :-(

I've also found it causes problems in behaviour seeing as my dc has the clear message that when I say no it doesn't matter as dc can do what they want as soon as I'm not present, total lack of respect for me as a parent!

YANBU, you know deep down what you need to do to be taken seriously as an adult by your parents.

You do sound really ungrateful and you don't even understand how lucky you are, just being able to:

1- getting a job

2- having free childcare in the same place where you live ( I suppose you trust them regarding abuse/neglect/etc

3- living for free/eating for free

4- if you decided not to work and have your parent's help you can live off benefits

Think what would you do if you had none of the options above
I don't think your parents would do anything to harm your child, would they?
Just look at you, you probably turned out fine, a bit selfish and arrogant though.

BTW who is buying the formula milk?
Some people choose to breastfeed just to save on milk you know
You are a very lucky lady so is your child.

would you be entitles to claim tax credits for childcare if you did move out?

worth looking into, also just out of curiosty OP how old are you?

Your baby. Your rules. I would climb mountains to ensure I can trust the people I leave my child with. Maybe your mum needs to do some parenting courses at your surestart? Maybe ask your health visitor to have a word?

I really do think you need to consider ensuring your child has a decent diet. Why not ask your mum to do some home cooked baby meals?

Agree with Sassyminder. When you are financially independent you can make all the decisions. They are your parents and they are looking after you and provding a roof for your son. They are also babysitting so you can go out and providing you with free c/care soon so you can work.

Good lord - plan next time - then you can have it all your own way.

Sassy, I pay them and I pay rent and I buy formula. They offered to look after him do that I could carry on working. While it may seem I'm ungrateful I don't see how I am by not bowing down when they're in the wrong. Oh and I'm not on any kind of benefits. I am or should I say I was grateful they looked after him

Festi I'm 29

Witt you need to stand up for your child and your decisions.

Bluddy it's not that I don't trust them. I really do. It's just the fact they knew I didn't want him having anything other than what I said. Had they bothered to ask me I'd have at least been able to have a say.

MAybe taking a look around some nurseries or visiting a few childminders would make your parents realise you are serious about your parenting decision being respected.

I think it is time to move out no disrespect but I thought you where maybe 19 or 20

I can see why you're hacked off, but tbh if you are relying on family to look after your child you are going to have to either accept a certain level of compromise/interference or decide it's not for you and make other arrangements or you will be having WW3 on a daily basis.

I was married with my own home and went back to work 3 days a week leaving DD with my mum or MIL when she was 18 weeks. They were mostly ok, especially my mum, but there was plenty of things that aggravated the hell out of me (and I suspect a fair few more I never knew about on MIL's watch) - it's not right, but more often than not it is the price you pay for free childcare unfortunately,

Slow I think I'm going to turn down the job and get out of here. They won't accept they're wrong. As far as they're concerned, I'm dictating to them on how to parent so I should go.

I dont understand why turning down the job will get you out of there surely it will be better to be earning money.

Dum, It's not free childcare. It's cheaper than going private but I do pay monthly on top of rent. best thing to do here is get out and do it on my own

Festi she is now refusing to look after him so I've no other option.