to wonder if all first time new mums find it hard at some point to some degree?

[Ohnoredundo]

Was having a discussion my cousin the other day (no children). Her best friend has recently had a baby (4 months ago) and I asked how she was finding it. "Great!" she said. "She thinks having a baby is easy and wants another soon." "Oh," replied slightly miffed and a bit jealous. I didn't know which way was up for the first few months of DC's life, but even so...to say it's easy? Really? I said that I thought all new mums find it challenging at some points, and promptly got my head bitten off: "Not everyone finds it as hard as you have...". Ooof. So is it just me? Or are there people who did find becoming a mum for the first time easy?

I am a trained secondary school teacher and in no way did it prepare me for motherhood. I have recently returned to work and I am absolutely loving talking about books again and the adult staffroom gossip and not having to talk about breast feeding and poo.

Having said that I di miss dd but I am lucky enough to have long holidays to spend with her.

I am looking foward to returning to work this week and I apprechiate work more now I am a mum. Best of both worlds for me.

I did wait till dd was 3 before going back as would not have wanted to leave my baby.

I don't think being a teacher makes me a better parent at all. I am not the best mum in the world and not the worst. I am a bit of a plodder and I miss my child frree days but I love dd immensely.

No one said teaching makes anyone a better parent toptramp.

Also at secondary school I don't have to clean up after them; I make sure they do that. I am trying to train dd early.

i found the baby stage very easy and lovely!harder when they're2/3 imo.dont see why someone's saying they find it great must be lying,if u find it hard doesn't have to be the same for everyone else...

I had a friend like your cousins. This friend is extremely houseproud and everyone warned her she'd have to relax the hoovering once baby arrived. Anyway, new baby came, slept all the time, ate, burped, slept some more. She really was like a doll!

Friend was carrying on, what were you all making a fuss about, having a baby is so boring - there's nothing to it, my house is cleaner than ever and on and on and on.

Fast forward 6 mths, had to try really hard not to smirk, as teething began, suddenly angel baby is transformed into screaming, clinging, mobile mess making little monster.

Repeat after me "I will not be glad or smug or say I told you so, I will not be glad or smug or say I told you so..."

i felt like a robot for the first year, i had postnatal depression and found it hard it wasent till she was six months i started looking at her has this little person ilove her to bits but i still come across some challenges even though she is nine,

Blimey jjkm That doesn't sound easy at all !
Glad mine only came along one at a time !
Good luck with them both

Childless people cannot understand what it's like to be a new parent and IMO are often tactless and unsympathetic. I learnt quickly not to be honest with some people about how hard I was finding new motherhood because I felt judged and basically told to just get on with it. Tbh I've only found life getting easier with my first born since his was about 3 years old as he can communicate. I hated the baby phase!

First week was a nightmare. After we switched to formula and got DD on a schedule that suited her things slotted into place so it was easier. Teething is in progress and it is hard when she cries for hours at a time. Just discovered that a plain frozen bagel is the perfect soother!

i always think bottle feeders enjoy it more
not contentious - just saying

I found having a newborn much much easier than being pregnant. I was just so glad it was over, I was on a complete high for weeks, even recovering from an EMCS. SPD, hyperemesis, and antenatal depression made my pregnancy such absolute hell.

I was very lucky with DS, he slept through from about 9 weeks, only had minor problems with breastfeeding that were sorted quickly, and he was generally just a chilled baby. By contrast, I know some who were like zombies, PND, completely wrecked from the whole birth experience (physically and mentally). It's not the same for everyone.

I'm 12 weeks pregnant now and am sure I won't be that lucky again!

To me that seems a bit of an odd thing to say NotnOtter - I enjoyed my two being babies, especially with DC1 ( easier with one !) and this included very natural and straight-forward breastfeeding (I'm sure we were lucky that we both found that easy from the beginning)

So far I am not finding pregnancy too difficult hoping this is a sign of things to come. xx

I was surprised how easy overall I found it. That's not to say there weren't days or weeks when certain things were hard - for me it was getting bf established. I rememebr asking friends if they were finding bf difficult ans when they said no i felt like a failure. But I still found the whole thing massively easier than I had been led to believe.

Yeh, I hope so yobe - good luck !

I haven't been able to read all the posts, sorry, but there are 11 pages. But the "she is lying" thing irritates me slightly.

I found babies easy, really. Easy compared to what? Well, easy compared to getting up at the bum crack of dawn, getting on a train and working in the city, sometimes up to 20 hours on the trot, then getting home again and turning round and going back, plus being expected to entertain clients, this that and the other all whilst being pregnant etc (or even just before)

Maternity leave was a bludge, for sure, except that by then pregnancy ailments had set in a bit (I had more than average complications) so when the baby was born, apart from the first week or so after when you are doing hospital stay plus midwife appointments at home but then the husband is around but then also you have guests etc, suddenly everyything was back to normal (so to speak!), and it was just me and the baby. He slept. I slept. I was comfortable. I wasn't pregnant anymore! The weight fell off me. The fluid retention melted away. We cuddled in bed, and pottered around. He slept. He fed. But he slept.

And that went on for ages - I learned when he slept and when he didn't. There was no colic. No crying. He was happily awake and chortling, he was feeding, or he was asleep! What's not to like?

I'd never had so much time on my hands, or enjoyed my house and my lifestile so much. Smug as it sounds, he was just an easy happy baby, content, and a good sleeper. He slept through from 7pm - 7am at about 14 weeks.

So I went on to have a 2nd fairly quickly.

My daughter ended up being pretty easy too. Actually probably easier, because she wasn't as "hard" when she got mobile, she was a bit less, um, inquisitive. And she'd just snooze on her mat when she was a newborn or watch DS play.

Okay so we have little stresses here and there, DD had some chest infections early on and was a grouchy patient and has had some eyesight problems which seem to be righting themselves nicely, and they are boisterous, but its all good.

No lying - just not "hard". The hard bit for me has definitely been all about just losing some "freedom" and having to plan out where I do this or when I do that etc etc around child free days or husband home or whatever. The lack of freedom. But no juggling crying babies or pacing the floor at 3am or driving round at 10pm trying to get them off to sleep. No smuggery, just "whew, that was lucky!"

I believe, somewhere deep down, that mother nature gave me easy ones because I'm a bit lazy and a bit shit and she knew Social Services would have to get involved if she didn't

Bless you Tatty

I feel a bit the same about why I didn't get twins

My dd was a very easy baby; no crying, sleep all day; an absolute delihght but about the constant breastfeeding and the unexpected growth spurt at about 2 weeks that noone tells you about; all day and night. Was that easy.....er no and dead boring too!

Mabe I should have bottle fed. I was so envious of those who fed baby once every 4 hours. grrrr.

If it wasn't for the hellish emotional turmoil of postnatal anxiety I think the whole thing would have been so much easier and certainly more enjoyable. Not easy but easier. I am so, so envious of women who don't suffer PND or PNA. I just won't ever get that time back again with DS and it makes me so sad. Does anyone have any ideas for putting it in the past?

I have been a nanny for 10 years.... looking after everyone else babies and children... (including new borns)

Being a Mummy (to my now nearly 4month old baby) has been far harder than I expected

Though i am pleased i have the skills to do super fast nappy changes, confident baby baths, install car seats, work buggies etc, cause without these pre-aquired skills i would have found it far far harder

Certainly not easy, but rewarding, great fun and i wouldnt change it at all

DS (my first) is 11 weeks today. I've had demanding jobs with long commutes, worked abroad, done shift work, been a teacher and can honestly say that this is the hardest, most unenjoyable, relentlessly crushing thing I have ever done. Life is a living nightmare and I wouldn't wish this on my worst enemy. I can only hope it gets better.

Juggling - I just mean the earliest weeks maybe 1-4
. Breast feeding so hard and sore and relentless - HUGE boobs - no weight loss erc etc
Bottle feeders can get their heads in gear more - body returns to normal quickers - someone else can give a feed.
I know it's jealousy on my part and maybe rose tinted view but I firmly believe it

Mixed berries it will it definitely will and soon- I normally hold tenish weeks as a turning point... Do you have anything you're finding particularly hard or stressful or just the whole shebang?