Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Protection built in.

Meet the Other Phone.
Protection built in.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be sick of people saying 'well, it's alright for you...'

283 replies

itsbrandybutterandtinseltime · 30/12/2011 19:43

DH and I are very fortunate to be in good jobs, and we are the first to admit this.

However, DH and I were over at a friends house when the topic of money came up. Basically, we were told that our opinion wasn't really valid (a chat about being frugal) because of the amount we earn. "oh, it's alright for you being on that wage".

If it's SO easy; you do it then. I work incredibly hard for my wage; so does DH. We don't broadcast our earnings, but we are fortunate enough to live a nice lifestyle. It feels like other people look at me and think I have it easy; like I do bugger all and somehow a pay cheque rocks up in my account every month Hmm.

We get this attitude fairly frequently from these people ('oh, it's not a lot of money for you I suppose', 'not with what you earn') and it embarrasses and frustrates me. AIBU, or should I think up a decent comeback?

OP posts:
Oblomov · 30/12/2011 21:25

Sometimes, you are on a thread and you feel like no one gets you other than one poster. tonight, for me , that is ReindeerBollocks. I chose my life. I work part time. I could be, if I had really put my mind to it, be on the 250k that my 2 closest schoolfriends are on. Actually, I take that back, I probably couldn't have been.
I'm sorry if I'm repeating myself , but I still don't get where you think all this bitterness comes from. Not all of us are bitter, you know.

goldbow · 30/12/2011 21:25

Hats off to you OP, don't think that your job has got anything to do with luck my dear. Smile BTW I personally wouldn't consider that a big joint salary.

AnnieLobeseder · 30/12/2011 21:25
  1. it's very rude of people to be openly jealous of your earnings, it's not like you're doing it on purpose to annoy them, and competitive hardship is just stupid. So I don't blame you for being annoyed by their comments.

Buuuuuuut....

  1. it's very insensitive of you to post about how you work hard to earn what you do, with the implication that people who earn less don't work as hard. I can very well see why that would wind a lot of people up.
marriedinwhite · 30/12/2011 21:25

habibu are you sure worse things have happened to other people. DS2 died in my arms after far too short a life. It was the worst thing that has ever happened to me. I have come to terms with it, after more than 14 years. I have never got over it, although all those around me think I have and that I am a toughie and a stong woman - I still cry in the middle of night - I still visit a grave, especially at Christmas (although he never had a Christmas).

I would give up every privilege and be happy in a hostel if I could have kept that little boy. Money, we have tons of it - it is worthless compared to a lost child.

habbibu · 30/12/2011 21:26

Oh. Is it hard to get a job if you're a Forces spouse? Maybe that's why she's pissed off. But yes, it is rude.

Can we please please call you HotLips?

Original poster
itsbrandybutterandtinseltime · 30/12/2011 21:27

Exactly reality hardly megabucks, like I said!

We're comfortable and I'm thankful every day, but it's not like I'm going to be able to give up work anytime soon.

And thank you! It's not very awe inspiring though!

OP posts:
AnnieLobeseder · 30/12/2011 21:27

X-posted - what an awesome job, well done you. But my comments stand.

MixedBerries · 30/12/2011 21:27

OP, YANBU to be pissed off at your friends' remark as it was rude. Not INCREDIBLY rude but rude all the same.
What's really pissing me off now are the comments on this thread that imply if you aren't well off then you obviously don't work hard enough or want it enough. That's utter crap.
Whilst I'm sure OP does work really really hard for her money, I'm sure others work just as hard AND have as good an education yet receive a tiny fraction of the pay. That's not OP's fault though. That's the nature of our current society. Some will be in the right place at the right time and will just happen to have made decisions that turn out to be lucrative.
Not everyone in our society CAN be rich so I do wish some of those "at the top" would stop assuming that they're at the top by virtue of their intelligence/hard work/education/time put in rather than just being fortunate in their choices and backgrounds.

Original poster
itsbrandybutterandtinseltime · 30/12/2011 21:28

Hotlips? Confused

OP posts:
Oblomov · 30/12/2011 21:29

Oh, i do love a good pair of tits, if ever I saw one.

habbibu · 30/12/2011 21:29

married, I am so sorry for your loss. It is by far the worst thing that has ever happened to me too - please have no doubt about that. But i am sure that much of my mental health and happiness today is due to the just extraordinary support and care I received for literally years afterwards, and the friends who still take so much care over me. So many people go through what I did with none of that. i do beleive that's harder, I really do.

Original poster
itsbrandybutterandtinseltime · 30/12/2011 21:29
OP posts:
Oblomov · 30/12/2011 21:30

hello AnnieLob. Long time no see.

habbibu · 30/12/2011 21:30

HotLips Houlihan, from MAS*H!

ReindeerBollocks · 30/12/2011 21:30

Oooh awesome job - but not shitloads (well shitloads compared to moi, but not to some people).

I understand your friends comment less, the more you post OP.

goldbow · 30/12/2011 21:30

You must be young OP if you don't know who hotlips is. [grin[

RealityNeedsANamechange · 30/12/2011 21:30

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

habbibu · 30/12/2011 21:30

Sorry, married - I really did not intend it to be a comparison with money. Damn. Might get the whole lot deleted.

marriedinwhite · 30/12/2011 21:31

itsbrandy google Mash. US forces medic basic drama, famous in the 70s.

Your job sounds fantastic - good for you - and your dh.

Original poster
itsbrandybutterandtinseltime · 30/12/2011 21:31

I've never seen it, but you may!

OP posts:
Original poster
itsbrandybutterandtinseltime · 30/12/2011 21:31

Yes. Yes you may. I look exactly like her. Honest.

OP posts:
inspireme · 30/12/2011 21:31

60k a yr between a couple won't really have u living a lavish lifestyle if u have mortgage, 2 cars, plenty of bills etc, yes it's good and you shouldn't be struggling but not exactly rolling in it iyswim, so I think your friends are out of order thought it was gonna be more like 100k.

Maybe compared to what they earn it's a lot, but it's hardly enough to mean u can just throw money away.

goldbow · 30/12/2011 21:32

OH your hot op.

habbibu · 30/12/2011 21:32

If your DH looks like Hawkeye....

Original poster
itsbrandybutterandtinseltime · 30/12/2011 21:32

I knew what you meant habbibu

OP posts: