HAD a terrible christmas

[Mario101]

alot has happened dh invited the neigbour around on christmas eve and i didnd't want him to but he did anyway and the wine is still on the window ledge but i didntt like the wine because it was horrible but the christmas tree got stolen bevause the car door was not locked but i liked the meat on christmas day that was very nice.

I think you might be on to something there ruddy

I still want to know why Sharon would wear someone else's slippers.

She's obviously no better than she should be - riffraff I'll be bound, and more than likely a tree thief to boot.

Well I thought I'd better mention what I heard.

No-one can afford minstrels at the cinema now anyway. You have to sneak them in and suck them really furtively during the noisy love scenes.

It's impossible to suck Minstrels!!

Just like Fruit Pastilles ...

No Carlos like to crunch his minstrels. Judith likes to suck them. But she won't buy her own drink.

Well possibly I'm no better than I should be, but in my neck of the woods you learn to suck a minstrel pretty young.

Where HAS Mario gone?!

There's no answer to that ...

that was to LineRunner by the way

We were victims of cinema policy, Salmo.

nobody takes me serious not dh not you and not sharon everyone laughs at me and im playing aerosmoth now which is wierd because somebody mentioned them and im washing up and have just put the wash on because i had a big sandiwch with some christmas meat and now i feel sick but i am a bit of a bloater at the moment anyway i need a diet i think. sharon stole my slippers she said she didnt but she did becaiuse they had ricky tomlinson on them so are quite rare so i reconised them. im going to guve my black tree to charity nect year for other people that cant afford chrisrmas trees but npt the decorations because i need them for the new tree but lee was out last weekend and i like him hes bery nice and does not shout at me when the rugby is on

Oh come on, someone explain. Is Mario a nutjob or on a windup, or is this a revising of the plot of some soap opera or something? [doesn't watch soaps]

Ooh who's Lee?

Oh I've snuck many a snack into cinemas but only suckable snacks.

I couldn't suck a minstrel - have to crunch. Impatient you see.

im not a wind up solid and i dont eat snickers but i do like mars bars but not topics because they have rasons in them and i dont like fruit all that much

I don't think anyone knows the answer to that SGB

Topics don't have rasons in. That I do know.

Carlos is much better looking than lee though but yes lee is a nice quiet lad he certainly wouldn't spoil a good rom com with the over zealous thoughtless crunch of three minstrels.

What are rasons?

Well, if your slippers had Ricky Tomlinson on them then Sharon did you a favour really.
At least you like Aerosmith (it was me that mentioned them) - quality.

rasons are the devil's pebbly droppings, you're quite right.

I think you should marry Lee and leave the rest of them, and their Ricky Tomlinson slippers. The bastards.

topics are toast.

Mario, i have absolutely no idea what timewarp you or i fell through but i think i am in actual love with you.