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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to not want friends to change nappies in my living room?

281 replies

Nappiessmellbad · 30/12/2011 10:07

I have name changed for this as I don't want friends to recognise me and it's my first post in AIBU and I'm a wimp. Blush

About six months ago, we had about 10 friends round for dinner. One couple had a toddler. I was in the kitchen serving up and returned to the dining table in the living room with the food. The parents of the toddler were changing their nappy at the other end of the room and I must admit I blanched - there was poo everywhere and it stunk. The smell lasted through the first course and when they left, my DH and I both said how rude it was.

Last week we had a different set of friends round for a meal on boxing day and again, one set of parents had a toddler. When we finished our meal, the toddler announced he'd done a poo. The parents started changing the child on our carpet with no changing mat and leaving the rolled dirty nappy on our floor.

As this has happened with two different sets of parents, are we the uptight ones or is this gross? We have a perfectly functional bathroom.

(I promise I'm not the poo troll)

OP posts:
Becaroooodolf · 30/12/2011 15:11

soooo...if you change the childs nappy in another room (i.e. bedroom) does that mean it suddenly smells like fondant icing????? Hmm

Poo smells. Mine does. Yours does. Everyones does. Its smells wherever you do it. So you will just end up with a smelly bedroom/bathroom, surely??

Am a bit Shock at how many of you are so precious about a baby/child being changed on a soft warm floor in a comfy room as opposed to a cold, hard bathroom floor Hmm

Obviously, you dont change a nappy whilst sat in a restaurant!!!!!

4madboys · 30/12/2011 15:20

yanbu!! its pretty simple, whenever any of mine have needed changing and we are at a friends/realtives i ASK where to change, most of the time people have said just do it in whatever room you are in, and i have my own mat and nappy sacks to put dirty nappy in straight away adn then in the outside bin or home with me! at my house people are welcome to change in the sitting room as that is what i do and i have a mat under the sofa to pull out and use, will also offer wipes, nappy sack etc if needed.

oh and if we have guests and i need to change the baby, tiny baby i would do it there, but if its pooey i would go to another room as i dont want to inflict the smell of shit on my guests!! recently someone came round just after i had changed a corker of a nappy and i opened the windows as they came in and apologised for the smell! it may be my own childs, but its not nice and its really rather rude to inflict it on anyone else!

DilysPrice · 30/12/2011 15:22

What's your point becaroo?

callmemrs · 30/12/2011 15:32

Becaroos point seems to be 'take a shit anywhere, because it smells the same wherever!!'

Entirely missing the point that the sitting room is where people gather, the dining room is where they eat, the bedroom is where they sleep... A bathroom is where people shit. So, given that everyone's shit smells, better to keep it one place.

And the whole point of using a mat or old towel is so that the nasty hard cold bathroom floor which everyone speaks of is covered up!!! Not rocket science is it !

EllenandBump · 30/12/2011 15:46

When in someone elses house (apart from now at mums because i am here for the foreseeable) i always ask if they mind if i change him and always use teh bathroom to do so. The nappy is always bagged and when i ask to use the bin i also ask if they want me to put it in the one outside. So no one has to smell it for longer than necessary. Granted it does still linger but i have done all i can. Some people dont always think at the time, but realise later and may well feel very embarrassed about it. x

UnexpectedOrangeInMyStocking · 30/12/2011 15:52

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

walklikeapenguin · 30/12/2011 15:53

Becaroo:
Yes, it really did happen. She changed the nappy with the baby lying in the carrycot of its pram right at the table (and, obviously, right next to other people's tables as well). I was so shocked I didn't say anything but since have always wished I had!

In answer to your other point, bathrooms are meant to smell of shit, hence you don't sit there to have a cup of coffee, eat a meal, have a chat, watch TV there.

muttimalzwei · 30/12/2011 15:58

I ask them where I can change baby. If it's a poo one I ask if I can change in the bathroom so can defumigate in there.

4madboys · 30/12/2011 15:59

unexpectedorange but surely you have a mat to put down?! so they arent on the floor.

baubleybobbityhat · 30/12/2011 16:03

Yanbu! I am so uptight about it I even hate it when friends change their own dc in front of me in their own houses in their own living rooms or kitchens Grin.

No one but no one in the world wants to see or smell your baby's poo.

callmemrs · 30/12/2011 16:13

What on earth is yucky about a bathroom floor with a changing mat/ towel on it ? Or indeed any other floor???!! Far safer than a wriggling child on a changing table

ChristinedePizaTinsel · 30/12/2011 16:31

I have one house rule - you are not allowed to poo in the toilet which is bizarrely right next to the dining room table. The same rule also applies to nappies. There is a lovely bathroom (big enough for you not to have to put your changing mat anywhere near the loo) at the end of the playroom which you are welcome to poo in (in the toilet) and change your baby in :)

lechatnoir · 30/12/2011 16:34

Learn to change on your knees then you never need worry about putting LO on a cold hard floor. Much easier than it sounds and great for pubs/service stations etc when even the changing mat looks ropey. Oh, and no, I wouldn't change a toddler poo nappy in the same room if we were just about to eat or in front of friends without children (who are general quite squeamish about such things just as I was pre-children).
LCN

Becaroooodolf · 30/12/2011 17:48

Me? What makes you think I have a point?

I change my baby where it is convenient to do so - sadly there are several bathrooms I know of that I wouldnt use, let alone take my child in there!!!

(I am sure all your bathrooms are spotless, however)

Just seems a weird thing to gets your pants in a twist about IMO.

OP: Next time these people come round and the time comes ask them to change their child in the bathroom/bedroom/patio/car/wherever......problem solved, no?

ChristinedePizaTinsel · 30/12/2011 17:52

Would you go round to dinner at a house where the bathrooms were so dirty you would be too revolted to put your changing mat on the floor becaroo? Xmas Shock

callmemrs · 30/12/2011 17:53

I guess it depends on whether ones idea of convenience extends to other people's convenience too. Or whether it's just 'this is handy for me so sod everyone else'

Tbh I really don't imagine the bathrooms of friends houses are likely to be so disgusting as to be unusable!

LoveInASnowyClimate · 30/12/2011 17:56

YANBU. That is disgusting behaviour on the part of your guests.

mayorquimby · 30/12/2011 17:57

"soooo...if you change the childs nappy in another room (i.e. bedroom) does that mean it suddenly smells like fondant icing????? hmm

Poo smells. Mine does. Yours does. Everyones does. Its smells wherever you do it. So you will just end up with a smelly bedroom/bathroom, surely?? "

which is why the bathroom is perfect, or if you do get them to use a different room be it a bedroom or study etc. while those rooms may smell then, presumably there won't be anyone in them for at least a period of time to let the smell decrease. If you do it in the sitting room then people have to sit through the smelly period.

Becaroooodolf · 30/12/2011 18:06

Some people have family members who will not/cannot look after themselves or their house properly sadly, so my answer to your question is "yes, there are bathrooms I would not use"

Not everyone lives in a showhome.

I also think some of you may have ishoos with poo, frankly!!

ElizabethDarcy · 30/12/2011 18:08

Poo from your own child NEVER smells as bad as if that child is not your own. It's VERY rude to just change your nappy in full view of others, not nice for the social setting, not nice for the child (lack of privacy), the smell is not fair on the others, there is nothing wrong with using a sponge change mat on the bathroom floor to change a nappy. Then wash hands!

It's called having manners and being thoughtful of others... it being easier to quickly 'whip it off in the living room' only aids you... not the other people in the room, so it's selfish.

ElizabethDarcy · 30/12/2011 18:09

Oh and I am a childminder by the way - and deal with about 16 nappies a day! Poo doesn't bother me in the slightest. But common courtesy does.

EssentialFattyAcid · 30/12/2011 18:12

I think this is gross, antisocial and rude.
The nice thing to do is to ask the host where she would like you to change your child.

LoveInASnowyClimate · 30/12/2011 18:18

I hardly think disliking the idea of nappies being changed outside the bathroom is "having issues", becaroo. I would be appalled if someone did that in my house. I would hesitate before inviting them again, to be honest.

gilmoregirl · 30/12/2011 18:19

I don't think YABU to expect TODDLERS to be changed in the bathroom. AT ALL.

I have a friend who happily changed her three year old's dirty nappy in my living room and proceeding to PUT IT IN MY KITCHEN BIN.

I was so stunned I did not say anything. Basically I had a large turd in my kitchen. Lovely.

I think that baby nappies are pretty much ok anywhere, just wee nappies ditto. However POO nappies from a toddler are not socially acceptable. I used to change DS in the bathroom, drop the poo down the loo and then put the used nappy outside.

Otherwise YUCK

fallon8 · 30/12/2011 18:27

Make it plain the kids are not invited,its a dinner party,adults only...You are allowed out,with out kids sometimes.As another guest,I would not have been impressed.