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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to not want friends to change nappies in my living room?

281 replies

Nappiessmellbad · 30/12/2011 10:07

I have name changed for this as I don't want friends to recognise me and it's my first post in AIBU and I'm a wimp. Blush

About six months ago, we had about 10 friends round for dinner. One couple had a toddler. I was in the kitchen serving up and returned to the dining table in the living room with the food. The parents of the toddler were changing their nappy at the other end of the room and I must admit I blanched - there was poo everywhere and it stunk. The smell lasted through the first course and when they left, my DH and I both said how rude it was.

Last week we had a different set of friends round for a meal on boxing day and again, one set of parents had a toddler. When we finished our meal, the toddler announced he'd done a poo. The parents started changing the child on our carpet with no changing mat and leaving the rolled dirty nappy on our floor.

As this has happened with two different sets of parents, are we the uptight ones or is this gross? We have a perfectly functional bathroom.

(I promise I'm not the poo troll)

OP posts:
fortyplus · 30/12/2011 12:09

AnnoyingOrange - love your potty tale! Xmas Grin

That's entirely different - toddlers are no respecters of social mores so it's good for a laugh despite the whiff!

callmemrs · 30/12/2011 12:12

Am I alone in thinking that my own children's poo smelt of... Erm.. Baby/ toddler/ whatever age they happened to be Poo...

Not of sunshine or roses or freshly baked bread !!!

fortyplus · 30/12/2011 12:18

Exclusively bf baby poo looks and mells like the stuff they make Nestle Caramac bars out of.

Everything else smells like shit poo

Thumbinnapuddingwitch · 30/12/2011 12:18

Well I think YANBU. I have never understood why some people choose to change nappies in living areas but then I have strong poo Ishoos and always have had. DS was always taken to the bathroom to have his nappy changed, or at least the bedroom when I've been staying in someone else's house.
I am not keen on the idea of other people doing it in my house either - and would probably mention where the bathroom was if they said they needed to change their baby's nappy as a hint.
Like Dilys, I always washed DS down with water as well, only ever used wipes in day-out situations - so it would have been impractical as well as (to me) unpleasant to change DS anywhere other than the bathroom/ his bedroom.

BarbarianMum · 30/12/2011 12:20

No not alone callmemrs - it's poo and smells like it.

I insist people change nappies in the bathroom and provide a mat for this purpose. For those who think that wee is no problem, they have obviously never seen how far even a newborn boy can get it (ds1 was an expert at the 'fountain during changing' effect).

eurochick · 30/12/2011 12:21

I hate it when friends change their babies in my living room too. It's grim. We have bedrooms and bathrooms that they are very welcome to use. And many just use alcohol rub on their hands afterwards, rather than giving them a proper wash with soap and water. Eugh.

RedHotSanta · 30/12/2011 12:25

I wouldn't mind someone changing a tiny baby. Or maybe a toddler who just had a wet nappy.

But a older baby or toddler who had a dirty nappy - NO WAY! I wouldn't even channge my DS's dirty nappies anywhere but his bedroom or the bathroom, he stinks!!!!

And I think no no under any circumstances at a dinner party.

scrappydoodah · 30/12/2011 12:25

YADNBU. It is disgusting, rude and inconsiderate. I was so taken aback last time I had friends visit with their twins that I didn't say anything, but I was fuming. I have suitable bathrooms on every floor, and they had their own private bathroom when staying, but they still changed every single nappy in the middle of my living room carpet. If this sounds precious, my house is mainly wood floors, their are only a couple of carpets, so it was almost as if they'd sought out the only surface that was not wipe proof. To top that they fed their babies in the living room, spilling baby rice down newly upholstered chairs, and allowing them to smear shortbread into the walls. They didn't tell me, or apologise, just left it to stain.

Parents, if you are visiting, use the bathroom for anything toilet related, and the kitchen/dining room for anything food related, and at the very least tell someone if something needs cleaned up.

Rant over Grin

pigletmania · 30/12/2011 12:33

YANBU that is downright rude, why should other people be subjected to your baby being changed! They should have asked you where they can change the nappy. Next time I would politely point them in the direction of the bathroom.

gottagetanewcalender · 30/12/2011 12:35

Surely you need to go into the bathroom anyway, to wash your hands?
Or towrds the back door to put the nappy into the bin?
If not, then i am not surprised so many on here all share the same stomach bugs and they linger on, through the family.

Although i agree that you become immune to it when you have your own child in nappies.

DamonSalvatoreIsMyLoveSlave · 30/12/2011 12:42

I always take mine to a bedroom with mat just so that we are out of the room. No one wants to see poo and smell it - it stinks! If it's in a bedroom the smell has gone before anyone goes in there and tiled bathroom floors can be a bit hard on the knees

And I always take pooey nappies outside to their black bin even when they have insisted that it's okay just to put it in the kitchen bin. I don't want to stink their kitchen out!

I don't really like it when friends change their toddlers pooey nappies in my house but I just put up with it(don't care about wet ones or tiny babies). I do always offer our change table in our toddler's room but they always want to do it on the living room floor Hmm

DamonSalvatoreIsMyLoveSlave · 30/12/2011 12:44

Meant to say "when friends change their toddlers pooey nappies in the living room in our house". Obviously I don't mind friends changing their toddlers nappies in our house in general!

feelokaboutit · 30/12/2011 12:45

YANBU. I do remember groups of us (friends from NCT or whatever) all with babies changing nappies in living rooms but then we were all in the same situation, and just having tea (the drink) or whatever, not dinner with other guests. Everyone who has ever changed a pooey nappy here has always then put it in the grey bin outside which I appreciate!

walklikeapenguin · 30/12/2011 12:52

YAdefNBU! It's absolutely disgusting and I know loads of people who do this.

Lots of people are saying you should ask - you shouldn't need to - it can never be the wrong thing to deal with poo in a bathroom.

Someone from my NCT group once changed her baby's nappy AT THE TABLE IN A F*ING RESTAURANT!!! I was totally shocked and disgusted and never went out with her again!

fortyplus · 30/12/2011 12:56

Local Sports Centre had to put up a notice in the cafe asking people not to change nappies in there. Unbelievable that people seriously think that their own convenience should override consideration for others - especially where food is served.

pigletmania · 30/12/2011 13:24

Its shocking, you would not go to the toilet or change your pants in a restaurant or living room so why a nappy. When dd was little I always used to ask where I can change her or just go to the bathroom automatically. I had one of those nappy bags with a fold up changing mat and will be using it for dc2 due in 2 weeks. Baby poo has a habit of going everywhere, and would feel Blush if it went all over a friends carpet.

LeQueen · 30/12/2011 13:39

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

fortyplus · 30/12/2011 13:51

So... those mof you who think it's perfectly ok to change a nappy full of poo in a living room... are you not going to the bathroom anyway to wash your hands afterwards?! Xmas Shock Ewwwww...

oldmerryolesoul · 30/12/2011 13:51

Does no one empty the shit into the loo ? I can never understand this not being done when you have access to a loo.

mayorquimby · 30/12/2011 13:58

jesus, never encountered this before.
I'd think them pretty rude and disgusting if they changed them in the room.
Lots of parents have complaints about people with strong perfume or a smell of stale cigarettes (purely for the smell rather than health reasons) picking up their kids because they don't want their child smelling like an ash tray.
Well similarly I wouldn't want my living room smellng of someone elses shit.

Original poster
Nappiessmellbad · 30/12/2011 14:41

OK, I'm glad I'm not being unreasonable. I'll feel happier telling them to go off to the bathroom now.

Wibblybibble: do you really think that it's the hosts fault for not offering a towel? I don't have kids, how do I know when their child needs the bathroom, particularly when they just start changing them without asking? I am expecting DC1 in about three weeks and I have two portable changing mats for when this situation arises. I don't think finding a bathroom in a house counts as wandering round without permission. I'm assuming if you need the loo you just ask?

OP posts:
Becaroooodolf · 30/12/2011 14:49

I have changed ds2 in a friends living room when he was a baby but I asked first where they would prefer me to do it.

Wouldnt just hoick a childs nappy off without asking and def not just as people were sitting down to eat!!!

AnyoneforTurps · 30/12/2011 14:59

YANBU and what about the germs? I'm normally disturbingly slightly relaxed about hygiene but faecal bugs are a different matter. There are millions of bacteria in each poo and they can cause severe stomach/bowel infections so changing a poo-ey nappy in a kitchen is not just rude, it's dangerous.

callmemrs · 30/12/2011 15:03

It's ridiculous to suggest its the hosts 'fault'. If you as parent or carer take a nappy wearing child anywhere, it's your responsibility to take whatever you need to change a nappy. If you are packing a spare nappy you simply bung in a roll up mat or old hand towel too. I also used to take wipes in case I had to change in an emergency with no running water, but this would be a last resort as I preferred to wipe my babies bottoms with plain water rather than wipes or lotion.

To suggest that it's the hosts 'fault' if they dont whip out a mat is ridiculous. Would you expect them to provide nappies too?!

bemybebe · 30/12/2011 15:09

I love the suggestion to open the window or use an air-freshner. An absolutely invaluable piece of crap advice.

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