AIBU to not want friends to change nappies in my living room?

[Nappiessmellbad]

I have name changed for this as I don't want friends to recognise me and it's my first post in AIBU and I'm a wimp.

About six months ago, we had about 10 friends round for dinner. One couple had a toddler. I was in the kitchen serving up and returned to the dining table in the living room with the food. The parents of the toddler were changing their nappy at the other end of the room and I must admit I blanched - there was poo everywhere and it stunk. The smell lasted through the first course and when they left, my DH and I both said how rude it was.

Last week we had a different set of friends round for a meal on boxing day and again, one set of parents had a toddler. When we finished our meal, the toddler announced he'd done a poo. The parents started changing the child on our carpet with no changing mat and leaving the rolled dirty nappy on our floor.

As this has happened with two different sets of parents, are we the uptight ones or is this gross? We have a perfectly functional bathroom.

(I promise I'm not the poo troll)

I agree A1980, I think that their precious child will fall to pieces if they so much as touch a hard surface. And yes the travel change mats are fit for purpose

They'd love coming to my house piglet, I have polished floor boards throughout: in the living room, dining room, bedrooms, everywhere. In actual fact, my bathroom floor is linoleum so it probably far softer than the lounge floor.

I am astounded by some of the posts on here, really. So some posters would be happy to change their dirty underwear in full public view with and audience, because that is what it is really! It has never occured to be not to ask where I can change my baby, and respect the householders decision.

My carpets have just been steamed cleaned so I would be if someone changed a nappy in my lounge. The lounge is where we have coffee, and have nibbles, I do not want a nappy changed in it, and yes our bathroom floors are carpeted (I hate them we are going to change them soon).

I also think that some parents actually forget that the rest of the world don't necessarily enjoy a poohey nappy change right under their noses. Not that this is any excuse at all so YA definitely NBU, OP. I'd have been distinctly underwhelmed too.

It's a long time since I changed my own dcs's nappies but I am back in the swing of it with dgd and it would never occur to me, in someone else's house not to ask where would be convenient for a nappy change.

Even here, in my own home (which is now very baby friendly again), ds2 and ddil automatically take dgd into another room so that the assembled company aren't obliged to share the experience.

The older they get, the less palatable the poos, too. Which is something else I have recently been reminded about as dgd comes up to a year old!

Of course you get desensitised to shitty nappies when you're changing them on a daily basis - you have to in order to cope with the horror of being millimetres away (the thickness of a baby wipe) from human faeces other than your own. :-/

But for heaven's sake, step back into everyone else's reality for a moment. I actually can't believe this thread has reached 256 posts?!? Are there really people out there who feel their need to not miss a minute of conversation overrides other people's need not to have human shit wafted directly under their nose in a living room situation?! Who are these people? And what on earth happened to them that they have absolutely no social nous whatsoever?

Quite happy to be considered OCD if OCD means not exposing strangers to human waste in their living and dining areas.

I can't believe some people think it's ok. Maybe at a push, it's ok if it was mid-afternoon, nothing much going on, just chilling out. At a DINNER party? No freaking way.

That is definitely when you know your kids have taken over your life and you are no longer a functioning social being.

YANBU at all and I am amazed that anyone thinks you are.

Are they good friends? Do you have to have them back?

I am still aghast that there is anyone who has said that YABU. I am so glad I don't know any of these people who are happy to waft shit around other people's sitting rooms.

NOT ok wee or poo, newborn or toddler.

Really? Other people's toddlers lie happily on the floor? Am aghast. Mine kicks the living crap out of me if he is made to lie down, but will happily stand for a change which is easier for both of us. Also, a colleague told me that she learned at a training course that when toddlers are resistant to changing that trying to pin them down can result in serious twisting injuries to the spine. Don't know if true but certainly made me paranoid enough not to want to try!

I don't agree with the scenario in the OP at all and would always, always take ds to a bathroom to change him even if he ended up having to lie on my lap so that he was not stinking up place and it was easier to clean but we are not adverse to having bare toddler bums round our own house, ds likes to run about in the buff shouting "nudie! nudie!" and slapping himself on his own backside.

Working, that made me - my DS liked to run around shouting "naked baby!" as well (but he always came back for his nappy). :)

I have had 4 babies so have had a lot of experience of nappy changing.I used to pop an old hand towel in my changing bad use it to cover my lap, spread on top clean nappy.Raise baby with one arm, undo nappy and wipe the thick of it off with front inside of used nappy and fold double as you pull it under baby.Finish off with baby wipe still holding child up put nappy and wipes in nappy sacj nad then lower onto clean nappy and fasten.Pimps!
There is a saying 'you aren't a real mother til you can change a baby on your lap.'Would dio it sat on toilet at guests house rather than on their sofa though!!

YANBU. The smell of a toddler's pooey nappy is not something anyone but the nappy changer should have to endure. The child should be taken into another room, away from where everyone is gathered.

Babies I don't mind as the nappy changing can be so frequent, but once a child is almost at potty training stage it seems a bit weird to change them in full view of a group of people.

I have changed my own babies' nappies in friend's living rooms when I know that's what they normally do too, but never a toddler. Seems inappropriate somehow. I have been in the room while a child who should really be using a potty/toilet has had his nappy changed and it was VILE.

I always do on toilet floor. If the downstairs loo is really tiny I ask if ok to go upstairs to use bathroom floor. I agree, poo belongs in bathroom. I do change my own toddler on living room floor if no one else around but not polite in company.

re: wee or tiny baby, still think best to at least ask before you start changing. I always ask what to do with dirty nappy - generally ask where outside bin is.

YANBU. They should ask where would suit you and where to put the nappy afterwards. For me, baby nappies not a huge problem and would happily allow in the same room, but toddler nappies are v stinky - not appropriate. My friends always ask though and we can point them in the direction of the DCs' changing mat upstairs.

YANBU I've been known to discreetly change a wet nappy in the corner, on a changing mat but a pooey one? No way- straight upstairs to the bathroom especially in someone else's house, and the shitty nappy quickly got rid of. Yuck. Wouldn't want my own front room stinking of anyone's shit, so why would someone else like that?

YANBU at all and anyone who suggests that not wanting the lingering smell of toddler poo at a dinner party is uptight, is being BVU indeed!

Don't people flush away as much pooh as possible (obv. not the nappy itself) so they're not throwing entire nappy-wrapped shits in the bin?

Well I did Jenai, but DS was in cloth nappies with a disposable liner, so mostly the liner just got picked out and flushed, and the cloth nappy put in a fragranced nappy bag, tied up and taken home for washing.

YANBU or uptight, OP.

I wouldn't do this. I doubt my DD would want her bare bum and poo filled nappy exposed to everyone just as they wouldn't want it exposed to them either!

Excellent, the not unreasonable's win by a long way. I definitely won't feel bad about asking them to do it elsewhere next time.

Some of the stories on here have been shocking - I can't imagine thinking it's acceptable to change a nappy on a restaurant table! You've all made me feel better that I'm not alone in suffering through this.

It would annoy me and does,i also hate people who put nappies in my bin too.Bag it up and take it home or put it in the outside bin,like i do with my nappies.