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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to not want friends to change nappies in my living room?

281 replies

Nappiessmellbad · 30/12/2011 10:07

I have name changed for this as I don't want friends to recognise me and it's my first post in AIBU and I'm a wimp. Blush

About six months ago, we had about 10 friends round for dinner. One couple had a toddler. I was in the kitchen serving up and returned to the dining table in the living room with the food. The parents of the toddler were changing their nappy at the other end of the room and I must admit I blanched - there was poo everywhere and it stunk. The smell lasted through the first course and when they left, my DH and I both said how rude it was.

Last week we had a different set of friends round for a meal on boxing day and again, one set of parents had a toddler. When we finished our meal, the toddler announced he'd done a poo. The parents started changing the child on our carpet with no changing mat and leaving the rolled dirty nappy on our floor.

As this has happened with two different sets of parents, are we the uptight ones or is this gross? We have a perfectly functional bathroom.

(I promise I'm not the poo troll)

OP posts:
thederkinsdame · 30/12/2011 18:29

Yadnbu I can tolerate a lot, but did draw the line awhile visitor who thought it was ok to change his toddler's stinking overflowing shitty nappy on our dining table without a mat. Needless to say they were never invited back Angry

AnyoneforTurps · 30/12/2011 18:31

Surely having "poo issues" is normal & sensible? Poo - even your own baby's poo - is full of bacteria and it pongs.

I've got a pretty strong stomach - I once had a delightful job scraping the stools of patients with diarrhoea into bottles for testing (happy days Grin) - but even I would be seriously revolted by a toddler turd in my kitchen.

becarooodolf are you saying that bathroom floors are too dirty for you to use but that it's Ok to have sh1t in the sitting room Grin?

fallon8 · 30/12/2011 18:42

What is the protocol,regarding adults wanting to poo on the dining room floor?

fireandthefury · 30/12/2011 18:46

Re: asking where to change your baby - my friend's step mum said I should change my DD's nappy on the kitchen island.

Um, not thanks. She was very insistent but I took her off to the bathroom. Perhaps I offended her. BUt changing a nappy on a kitchen worktop? Why??

DilysPrice · 30/12/2011 18:46

Clearly it's fine if you're worried that the bathroom might be cold and smelly fallon Smile

lottiegb · 30/12/2011 18:47

Uurghhh, I feel a bit sick.

Am currently preg with our first, so not yet inured to poo. Am sure we will become so with our own DC's but really hope I will never become as insensitive and rude as this. If someone did this at a dinner party I was at, I'm not sure I'd be able to eat. None of my friends with children do this.

fallon8 · 30/12/2011 18:49

But Dilys,would you take small kids to a dinner part? forget cold bathrooms,etc,anyway,i always have the heating on if guests are coming.

littlemisssarcastic · 30/12/2011 18:49

Personally, I wouldn't change a pooey nappy anywhere other than a bathroom or toilet...unless the host particularly made a point of saying it was okay. Even then, I'd feel uncomfortable to change a pooey nappy anywhere other than a bathroom, and assume the hosts don't realise how smelly it can be.

I also always assumed that the dirty nappy once tied up should go straight out into the black wheelie bin.

It doesn't make any difference to me what the age of the child is, whether they are 2 weeks old or 2 years old. It's just polite imo.

OTOH, a young babies wet nappy would not bother me, and hasn't bothered most of my friends. It doesn't smell and doesn't leak, so I can see why parents might assume a wet nappy was ok to change in a living area.

ReduceRecycleRegift · 30/12/2011 18:50

visitors always change their nappies in my sitting room, it hard to change a poo nappy standing up unless you are suggesting they lie on your hard bathroom floor (unless you have a carpet in there - yuck!).

would you offer your bed for them to be changed on? the bathroom isn't a great alternative TBH

pigletmania · 30/12/2011 18:53

becaroo it is rude not ask where to change your baby/toddler if you are in somebodies house, whatever you may think or do. Don't you carry a fold away changing mat or towel, so your babies bottom does not touch the floor, thats the whole point!

Original poster
Nappiessmellbad · 30/12/2011 18:55

Becaroo - I agree with the others, it does sound like you're saying some bathrooms are so grim that you'd rather squat over a piece of newspaper in the living room. Grin I will ask them to do it elsewhere next time - the issue is when they start when I'm out of the room and it had happened more than once so I wondered if I was unreasonable. I have no problem being assertive though.

Fallon - I do like having children as part of the dinner party too though, I don't like the idea that children should be separated with a grim children's only meal. Being included for me includes using the bathroom for bathroom things though. It is a bit awful for the other guests that were present. :(

Fireandthefury: yuk - sounds like a shortcut to food poisoning.

OP posts:
AnyoneforTurps · 30/12/2011 18:55

Some of you must have some very delicate toddlers. The ones I know spend half the day chucking themselves onto hard surfaces. 3 minutes on a towel or changing mat on a bathroom floor are going to kill them.

I don't think this is about the comfort of DC at all. It's about a small minority of parents being so self-important that they think it's OK to do whatever suits them and sod everyone else.

AnyoneforTurps · 30/12/2011 18:56

not going to kill then

LoveInASnowyClimate · 30/12/2011 18:59

Reduce - don't you have a mat in your changing bag?

Agree with Anyone that this is far more about some parents' sense of entitlement than actual concern about the child's comfort.

TheSecondComing · 30/12/2011 19:03

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Sirzy · 30/12/2011 19:04

There is no reason a nappy can't be changed in a bathroom - unless it's the worlds tiniest bathroom - its a much more suitable place to do it than in a room full of people.

I can't believe anyone is so rude as to think its fine to change a shitty nappy in someone's front room without asking them!

Original poster
Nappiessmellbad · 30/12/2011 19:13

X-posts Reduce - I most definitely would not offer them my bed (or any bed) to change on. What if the nappy leaks? Revolting.

The bathroom is spacious, warm and clean. If they asked, I could provide an old towel to put the changing mat on and a cushion for their knees, but bathrooms are the right place to deal with bodily functions. Frankly if they complained they wouldn't get an invite back (and the first couple that did this haven't been back since, I'm waiting till their children are fully toilet trained.

OP posts:
pigletmania · 30/12/2011 19:22

OP I thoroughly agree with you! The only time I have changed my dc nappy in someones house anywhere other than the bathroom is when they have insisted that i change in the living room and are Shock that I wanted to change her in the bathroom. I have always asked and respect the householders decision.

pigletmania · 30/12/2011 19:24

Then again, I always came super prepared with fold away change mat and towel and plastic bags to put nappies in.

Sirzy · 30/12/2011 19:25

I would offer my bed, put a towel/changing mat on the bed and there is no problem.

dementedma · 30/12/2011 19:28

utterly gross and rude to change a nappy in someone's dining room. I always used the bathroom when visiting friend's houses with the DCs, and would be disgusted with a "friend" who changed a shitty nappy in my front room!

callmemrs · 30/12/2011 19:32

I reckon we should all roll up at Becaroos house and shit in her sitting room. After all, she doesn't have 'poo issues' - only the rest of us do!!

Original poster
Nappiessmellbad · 30/12/2011 19:32

Maybe I'll think I'm unreasonable about offering a bed once I've had my own (but I doubt it at the moment) :)

Piglet: yep, I'm preparing for the birth of mine and I've got changing mats, nappies, sacks and (I think - I've not done this before) I'd always go off to the bathroom. Maybe I should include a towel for softness protection against hard floors.

OP posts:
ReduceRecycleRegift · 30/12/2011 19:33

"Reduce - don't you have a mat in your changing bag?"

if you mean the large padded child length ones which don't fold but would make it comfortable enough to change on tiles, no! do you? what do you bring out a wheelie case?

If you mean one of the thin fold ones that you can put on a change table/sofa/bed/soft floor. Yes. they are not as long as my child they just go under the bum.

OP how would it leak through to the bed? unless the child had the squits in which case they shouldn't be out in company anyway!

Morloth · 30/12/2011 19:35

Neither of my two have come to even the slightest harm being changed on bathroom floors.

A moment being slightly uncomfortable doesn't actually cause children to melt.

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