AIBU to not want friends to change nappies in my living room?

[Nappiessmellbad]

I have name changed for this as I don't want friends to recognise me and it's my first post in AIBU and I'm a wimp.

About six months ago, we had about 10 friends round for dinner. One couple had a toddler. I was in the kitchen serving up and returned to the dining table in the living room with the food. The parents of the toddler were changing their nappy at the other end of the room and I must admit I blanched - there was poo everywhere and it stunk. The smell lasted through the first course and when they left, my DH and I both said how rude it was.

Last week we had a different set of friends round for a meal on boxing day and again, one set of parents had a toddler. When we finished our meal, the toddler announced he'd done a poo. The parents started changing the child on our carpet with no changing mat and leaving the rolled dirty nappy on our floor.

As this has happened with two different sets of parents, are we the uptight ones or is this gross? We have a perfectly functional bathroom.

(I promise I'm not the poo troll)

YANBU. I may be a bit PFB about some things, but I have never felt that anyone (whether they have kids of their own or not) wants to watch a shitty nappy being changed. And nobody, but nobody, wants a stinky nappy left in their living room or even in their kitchen bin. Even at our parents' houses, poopy nappies get put in a nappy bag and then straight into the outside dustbin.

Oh my, I've been making a massive faux pas then. I've always changed my baby's nappy in the lounge (although it's only been at 4 different houses). Two of them already had a baby in and this is what they did so I think it's ok? The other 2 I just went ahead and did it although I always put a mat down with a muslin over the top. And NEVER when there's food around (gross). I also offer to take my detritus home with me!

I'll ask in future

I've had three people with babies visit recently and all of them changed their babies on my living room floor. I offer them the changing table upstairs (I have a baby too!) but everyone's happier doing it the fastest way possible. I.e. on the floor. No big deal.

I have a changing table, wipes and everything in ds's room but nobody wants to use it. What annoys me is the same friends who just whip the nappy off on my carpet don't do the same in their own house.

When they stick the pooey nappy in the kitchen bin I always make a point of taking it out the bin and putting it outside but nobody ever gets the hint.

YANBU. I never changed a toddler poo in the same room as anyone outside my own home. (the changing table's downstairs at home.) Id go to the bathroom.

YANBU! Have habits changed so much since I was at this stage of family life ten years ago? Yeuch!

I'd never think of using a bathroom floor to change my kids, but then our bathrooms are barely heated and the tiled floors are freezing. I'd also never change my kids without a changing mat and I'd also always do it away from food.

We normally change our own kids in our lounge too during the day, (change table is in bedroom a floor away), but we have noticed that we do change our kids in their bedroom if we have childless visitors. I guess we figure they won't cope, or will be turned off having kids. ;)

Oh and putting it in the kitchen bin, Ive endured that. And thar bothers me. YANBU there either.

I wouldn't change any nappy in anybody's (including mine) anywhere except the bathroom, and this refers to wet, pooey, newborn and toddler nappies. I really don't think it's necessary. I also always take the nappies out to the nearest outside bin - I wouldn't leave them for anyone else to deal with.

YA definitely NBU - totally disgusting

randommoment it's definitely a 'modern' thing imo

Crikey, I'd never change toddler DS's nappy in a room where people were eating (and I've been known to be a but.. um thoughless in my parenting ways )

YANBU

Hazie - I feel your pain.

Maybe a comfy, warm changing area in the bathroom is the way forward and announce this to friends when they arrive.

I did it in my own home but wouldn't do it in someone else's. Shit stinks, whether it's a small child's or an adult's (breastfed baby's doesn't smell too awful but I still wouldn't do it)

Actually, thinking about it, I didn't do it in my home either - I took him to the changing mat in the bedroom.

That's revolting. It's very rude not to ask you where you would like them to change their child. I suggest that when they arrive with kids, just say in a friendly way "the changing mat is all set up in [room] if you need to change [child's name]'s nappy while you are here". If they have the brass neck to say " no, I'll just do it here", OBJECT. Tell them you don't want them to do that.

Likewise, if they start to put a pooey nappy in the kitchen bin, say "URK don't put it inthe kitchen bin! There's a bin in [room]". as you say, they don't do it at home, they shouldn't be doing it at your place.

Yanbu at all. I am that anyone can think its ok! And aside from anything else, don't people wash their hands afterwards? Bathroom is the place for changing nappies when visiting other people. Water and soap conveniently to hand, and your child does not have an audience.

Wee OK as no mess, not much smell, very easy to do.
Tiny baby OK as not much smell, and more important that baby is warm and comfy. Also parents likely to be shattered and hormonal so not worth upsetting them.

Yes- I don't get the 'it's ok with a tiny baby' idea either! Ok so a breasted newborn baby's shit might not smell quite as bad, but I still remember some shockers in my time. And you never quite know what you're going to find until you open up! Also, who defines 'tiny baby'? A few weeks? Months?? Surely it's far simpler to just respect the fact that other people don't want shit in their sitting room.

I never changed my own kids downstairs in the living room and I wouldn't have expected my friends to do it either.
I used to change them on the baby mat in the bedroom. The bathroom is next to it so it is easy to wash hands afterwards.

Sorry, I don't get it. Everyone I've ever known, mum, grandparents, friends etc, have always changed nappies in the living room. We have a mat and changing table that have never been used, they're just so unnecessary (to me). Changing a nappy is a piece of piss, it doesn't make any mess, and is over in seconds. I change DS on my lap, on the sofa, on the carpet, on my bed - but a bathroom floor?? Seems so wrong. I suppose it's just what you're used to though. Maybe I'll change my mind when DS is older.

Nappies in the kitchen bin don't bother me either, it gets emptied often enough. I'd prefer that to what DP's auntie got us to do with DS's the other night - chuck it out the back door! I felt so uncomfortable knowing one of our dirty nappies was just sat in the garden overnight.

Agree changing around food is off as it's your home, but again, it wouldn't bother me. Hmmm, reading this back maybe I'm too laidback. Am I a chavvy parent??

Frankly, I think parents of small babies have more to worry about, and if a friend of mine got huffy about changing a baby's nappy (very different with older, omnivorous child) anywhere in their house I wouldn't go there again. Having somewhere nice, warm and clean to do it (preferably not the bathroom floor) is fine, but disapproving noises without a suitable alternative is just rude.

YANBU, I always go for the bathroom floor when we are visiting and we have a change table in a bedroom here. Always carry bags so nobody is left with a stinky nappy.

I can beat this though, I once had a 'friend' whose kid was potty training, he needed to poo so she whipped out a portable potty and had him go right there in my lounge room while we were all eating cakes and drinking coffee.

The bathroom (with a potty I had my own toddler) was less than 15 feet away.

Haven't seen her since then.

The polite thing to do is ASK the householder where one might change one's infant.

I think a wee nappy is ok but poo belongs in the bathroom, when out of your own home.

Neither couple washed their hands afterwards [boak]