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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to not want friends to change nappies in my living room?

281 replies

Nappiessmellbad · 30/12/2011 10:07

I have name changed for this as I don't want friends to recognise me and it's my first post in AIBU and I'm a wimp. Blush

About six months ago, we had about 10 friends round for dinner. One couple had a toddler. I was in the kitchen serving up and returned to the dining table in the living room with the food. The parents of the toddler were changing their nappy at the other end of the room and I must admit I blanched - there was poo everywhere and it stunk. The smell lasted through the first course and when they left, my DH and I both said how rude it was.

Last week we had a different set of friends round for a meal on boxing day and again, one set of parents had a toddler. When we finished our meal, the toddler announced he'd done a poo. The parents started changing the child on our carpet with no changing mat and leaving the rolled dirty nappy on our floor.

As this has happened with two different sets of parents, are we the uptight ones or is this gross? We have a perfectly functional bathroom.

(I promise I'm not the poo troll)

OP posts:
Thumbinnapuddingwitch · 30/12/2011 22:07

OMG, I can just imagine how hideous that smell of combined nappy plastic/wadding/poo must have stunk when burning!! What a mad thing to do!

Bad enough when you put hair on the fire, that stinks enough...

feelingratheroverwhelmed · 30/12/2011 22:15

I don't think people remember what life was like before children ie most people without kids are mortified at having nappies changed in front of them. I know I was. I have a 10 week old and although I don't think his poo smells bad I wouldn't change him on a friends carpet unless I knew it was ok, and I'd always use a mat. I also have a two year old and he would always be taken to the bathroom as he STINKS!! But, I do know some people that wouldn't mind. My MIL changes my older DS on her knee in front of the telly.
It's just beyond rude to assume its ok to change a toddlers nappy in someone's dining room, and thinking that does not mean I have issues with poo!

working9while5 · 30/12/2011 22:27

I never use a mat now really, would do it in bathroom and have him stand up (he won't really lie down to do it now anyway) Wouldn't like it in a room where people were about to eat.

goldbow · 30/12/2011 22:37

Get over it!

LoveInASnowyClimate · 30/12/2011 22:42

Get over what, Goldbow?

There is nothing unwelcoming, by the way, about not wanting a guest to engage in smelly and insanitary habits in the sitting room!

Whatmeworry · 30/12/2011 23:03

Real friends and considerate guests ask where they should change, IMO anyone who doesnt is just rude - especially with a shitty toddler nappy, which really stinks.

I've never had this happen OP so I dont think you are at all unreasonable.

fortyplus · 30/12/2011 23:06

I think 'Get over it!' epitomises exactly the arrogant, self-centred attitude we're talking about. Consideration for others costs nothing.

jasper · 30/12/2011 23:07

My thoughts too, forty plus

cheesynibbles · 30/12/2011 23:09

My DP has never got over the day my sister popped my nephew out of a wet nappy on our living room floor, sat him on the coffee table bare bummed and then for a bit of fun slid him up and down the cofffee table!!!! All before she had wiped him !!!!! He was about 18 months at the time and is 15 now ...... but DP has never forgotten !!!! YANBU

LoveInASnowyClimate · 30/12/2011 23:11

Quite, Fortyplus.

Toddler poo is basically the same as adult poo. Would people like Goldbow be quite as relaxed about someone changing an adult nappy in their sitting room, or does the sense of entitlement which apparently popped out with the baby not stretch to that?

LoveInASnowyClimate · 30/12/2011 23:12
Thumbinnapuddingwitch · 30/12/2011 23:13

cheesynibbles - Shock!!! not surprised your DP has never forgotten (or probably forgiven) it - what an utterly vile thing to do!

Fortyplus - yep.

mayorquimby · 30/12/2011 23:20

"And if that makes me weird, then thank God I'm weird...and I can be happily weird in my fresh smelling living room"

Couldn't agree more. If not wanting fresh shit aired out in my sitting room means I have ishoos with poo or some germaphobic ocd then I'm more than happy to live in my Howard Hughes style germ free lair where people don't expose my sitting room to human faeces.

"I think 'Get over it!' epitomises exactly the arrogant, self-centred attitude we're talking about."

exactly. the idea that because I have a kid and it's easier for me to do it here than to pay others the common courtesy of dealing with it elsewhere they should get over it because I want them to.

fortyplus · 30/12/2011 23:20

cheesynibbles - that's unbelievable! Shock
In my house it's always been bare bums in the bathroom or garden only (only till they were about 5 for the garden obviously! Grin )

startail · 30/12/2011 23:23

It's a long time ago, but I'm sure my friends would have used a may on the floor in livingroom. I might have got the big mat from up stairs.
Just simpler for supervising siblings.
Also I know they used the floor at home because they felt safest and I used a trunk or the spare bed to be kind to my back.

startail · 30/12/2011 23:26

Clearly the bathroom floor is the place to change a toddler, but our bathroom floor is the sizes of a changing mat. No room for the legs of a two yearold let alone mummy.

cheesynibbles · 30/12/2011 23:34

Thank-you thumbinapuddingwitch and fortyplus......yes fairly unbelieveable..yet this is the same sister who used to pick the middle out of quiche to give her son scrambled egg, wait for the washing machine to flood to wash the kitchen floor and dip her newborn in and out of a bucket to bath him !!!!! No harm done to said nephew , he is a lovely boy now , but her behaviour is fairly barking by any standards !!!!!

TheCokeMachine · 30/12/2011 23:39

I always ask - I say that baby has done a poo and where can I change? I have a mat, wips and nice smelling spray in my bag - it's surely rude to not to ask? I've usually been directed to the bathroom, no one has sent me out to the shed or garage yet.

LittleMissFlustered · 30/12/2011 23:41

I've always asked where I can do a decontamination change, and then where the toxic waste treatment plant wheely bin is when visiting houses for the first time with babies and small people. I thought that was the done thing?

pigletmania · 31/12/2011 01:04

reduce I have a Samsonite changing bag and it came with it. Its kind of like the soft cooler bag material, which is soft and waterproof and easily folded.

pigletmania · 31/12/2011 01:06

No its not as padded as a big full changing mat, you could never fit that into a bag, but its padded enough for the purpose, and the child is not on there for long anyway.

A1980 · 31/12/2011 01:11

YANBU at all. It takes two seconds to ask, "where can I change the baby".

Changing in a dining room where people are eating...! The thought of it makes me heave.

Also presumably these people visit by car, especially if it's for dinner. How hard is it to bring a travel changing mat which would be fine to use on a bathroom floor? You can buy them for a few quid in some places.

A1980 · 31/12/2011 01:16

I also see some parents take issue with travel mats being too thin. Seriously? can your precious litle darling not lie on a hard floor for two minutes? Will it cripple or damage them for life? Thought not! TBH I've never seen a child that didn't lie on the floor quite happily, be it a carpeted lounge or a hard kitchen floor. They are not bothered about lying on a hard floor for a couple of minutes, you are!

MollyMurphy · 31/12/2011 01:19

I think its rude to change a child's diaper in the middle of someones living room especially a poo diaper and most especially at a dinner party. I always offer to go to a difference space BUT I don't love changing on a hard bathroom floor and appreciate the offer to do so in a spare room or whatnot. A changemat or blanket should always be employed whatever the space IMO.

Maryz · 31/12/2011 01:22

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.