to just be a bit shocked by what I found on our computer today?

[MrsJangleBalls]

Disclaimer - I was not bloody snooping!

Well only a little bit. Long story but bear with me...

I am currently trying to download iCloud. It says to go to Networks and Sharing. Well it wasn't there, but access to my dh's files was. His pictures file. Now I know he collects pictures of nude wimmin because I've seen him looking at them before. So I thought I'd take a peek at the kind of thing he was looking at. It was pretty harmless, just lots of posed pictures of naked women, etc. That wasn't what shocked me.

There were over 13,000 pictures.

It was like a fucking library. There were folders, sub-folders, categories, sub-categories, different fetishes, a whole folder full of folders of different women with hundreds of pictures of them in each one (and each one was named!) not to mention folders of lingerie, etc.

Now I know I probably got what I deserved, but 13,000? That's bloody years of collecting it. There's no way I'm going to tell him I've seen it. I didn't touch it, just looked through it. He obviously doesn't know I can find it.

I feel like I ought to be impressed at the sheer scale of it. I'm tempted to move it and wait for him to start asking panicky questions about whether the computer has gone wrong or not.

Does anyone know how it turned out for the op?

Ooh I'd make you wanna watch some porn, don't you worry bout that anyfucker [grin*

Because I'm soooo fat not because I'm hot!
That sounded lecherous

My husband does not save, read ,look at, wank over porn .amen:
name changed for this one, don't want to get outed.

Peanut

My husband can't save either.

I can do the dance of 1000 bootys too....anyone wanna see? Stand back!

ha ha lollygag not under surveillence at all. It's just that there are so many ignoramuses on here who like to blither and blather on about how porn is a god given right for men, they all use it and any woman who thinks their husband doesnt is naive and doesn't know their own partner.

It was one of my best lines but I can't remember now exactly how it went.
I expect it was along the lines of why might he decide to hide his collection from his wife with the weight problem who does not often want sex. There should be no need to hide these things.

Xenia it was crap, sorry 'bout that

who turned the feckin' lights out ?

I'm going to have this thread deleted.

I'm glad my life has provided such great entertainment for you all that you've all forgotten the original post and feel the need to degenerate into god knows what ridiculous bloody rubbish passes for humour where you're from, but just in case there is one genuine person who actually gives a shit, no, things are not ok. I have got to the point where I am weary of my dh's lies and selfishness and am actually wondering why I bother with our marriage anymore.

But I'm sure you'll find someone else to take the piss out of and insult. It's like being bullied. I'm wondering why I bothered with Mumsnet. There are obviously more time-wasting piss takers than genuine well-meaning mums. For those of you that did care enough to offer genuine advice, thank you. For everyone else, goodbye.

MrsJ, if you will just hold your anger for a moment

if you go back to the first few pages of your thread, you will see that some people did read between the lines and sense your distress, despite your brave attempts to confound them

yes, it has devolved into silliness, but no way has that been directed at you personally

many of these threads deteriorate into a bunfight, especially when the OP does a runner, as it appeared you did

if you wanted support...it was there in spades for you, you only had to say the word

you didn't though

you played along with the "aren't men silly, needing to do all this looking at naked ladies" thang

now

delete this thread if you wish

but...if you come back and repost in Relationships or Feminism, I can guarantee you will get the support you are looking for, if you would just place your anger where it is deserved, and not on a bunch of internet posters, some of which actually get where you are coming from (and some of which are in deep, deep denial...which is where you tried to tell us you where, but a few of us never bought it)

I hope you are ok...and that you will pin your fury squarely where it is warranted

"I wonder how the thread would have gone in relationships or even chat for that matter." I echo that.

I would strongly advise posting this kind of thing in the relationships section, the response will be much more balanced. People will be nicer basically!

Mumsnet is a massive site, with different customs and etiquette in different topics. AIBU is a bit of a free for all and some posters can be pretty harsh here, much more so than in other topics, also people are much more likely to just not take it too seriously here, as you've seen.

"It's like being bullied." Yes I absolutely agree it can feel like that on the receiving end, although I very much doubt it was meant to be on this occasion.

Mumsnet can be fantastic for advice and support, I hope you don't let this thread put you off mumsnet (just AIBU perhaps!)

I hope you're ok mrs j, I followed the thread from the start and it sounds like you're having genuine problems now so please stay on MN and get the support you need.

MrsJ, so sorry to hear you are feeling like shit but tbh, preferable to your original postings which did seem to be a thin veil of cover for your true gut feelings because you wanted everything to be alright. That is so understandable.

Personally I think it's only best to go on AIBU for less sensitive matters - I learnt that the hard way and have also felt bullied in the past!

I do care, as many other of the helpful posters do. And there are some amazing women with some excellent advice on here, I've had brilliant support myself.

Wishing you all the best xx

I'm so sorry OP, some people do seem to forget they are dealing with real people with feelings and just piss about. This is why MN has the reputation for bullying, but it is a small minority. There have been some incredibly insensitive posts on this thread but there have also been some caring, supportive posts.

Ignore the crap OP, repost in relationships and we'll be there for you.

Please repost in relationships, you will get loads of support

These AIBU threads will always deteriorate and wander when the original OP disappears.

Threads in relationships will be more serious and focused on supporting you and offering advice.

FWIW I think you are quite right to question your relationship with someone so secretive and apparently nonchalant about your feelings. I'm sure a lot of people would be willing to listen to you if you repost.

MN Relationships Suspect the OP will have fucked off by now.

I wouldn't blame her tbh. Some of you really took the piss. Shame.