to just be a bit shocked by what I found on our computer today?

[MrsJangleBalls]

Disclaimer - I was not bloody snooping!

Well only a little bit. Long story but bear with me...

I am currently trying to download iCloud. It says to go to Networks and Sharing. Well it wasn't there, but access to my dh's files was. His pictures file. Now I know he collects pictures of nude wimmin because I've seen him looking at them before. So I thought I'd take a peek at the kind of thing he was looking at. It was pretty harmless, just lots of posed pictures of naked women, etc. That wasn't what shocked me.

There were over 13,000 pictures.

It was like a fucking library. There were folders, sub-folders, categories, sub-categories, different fetishes, a whole folder full of folders of different women with hundreds of pictures of them in each one (and each one was named!) not to mention folders of lingerie, etc.

Now I know I probably got what I deserved, but 13,000? That's bloody years of collecting it. There's no way I'm going to tell him I've seen it. I didn't touch it, just looked through it. He obviously doesn't know I can find it.

I feel like I ought to be impressed at the sheer scale of it. I'm tempted to move it and wait for him to start asking panicky questions about whether the computer has gone wrong or not.

NN, you are wrong too.

If you are not so concerned about him looking at the pics but are worried about your DC seeing them, put them onto a memory stick and delete them off the hard drive. Then, hand him the stick and tell him why you are doing so.

Or just ask him to do so TT. Is a bit PA otherwise.

Just checked this thread to see if it had descended into the usual porn is/bad/ok/sign of end of world/degrading/fun etc. bunfight, well whaddaya know, it has. OP doesn't have problem so why anyone else should do on her behalf is beyond me.

Re not all men masturbate, so what if they do or dont. Am fairly sure the vast majority enjoy it.

Why did I go to bed last night! I didn't know how this was going to develop.

Malificence;you are right that not all men look at porn or even masturbate.They are the wimpy ones who think they might get caught.

"Wimpy"? What an awful view of people you have. How does it feel, to live in that mental cage? "Men must look at porn, or they're wimps", eh? Seriously, are you 15? Go revise for your mocks.

Oh for god's sake.

NOT ALL MEN LOOK AT PORN

No I'm not deluded, I've had boyfriends in the past who I know did so, but my DH doesn't. There are about a zillion reasons why I know he's not lying to me.

Yes he wanks. In the shower. Like lots of men! Are they all using waterproof porn mags? Don't think so.

This isn't something I've demanded of him -- it's just the way he is. Yes he looked at porn mags when he was a teenager but as he grew up and started having actual sex he lost interest in them.

And before anyone starts making stupid assumptions, yes we have an amazing sex life

People, justify your porn use any way you want, just please, stop with the 'all men use porn' argument. They really don't. And it's a very damaging argument, because it makes women (like the OP) feel like they have to go along with it even if they don't like it.

Hey,you really are scary.

Thank yoiu for noticing. It's nice to be appreciated.

I think your universal generalisations about humanity are scarier, though. People vary such a lot..

I think SWB's post was considered, articulate and balanced - not sure why he got such unpleasant responses. It's also relevant to know about the torrent and auto-categorisation things, as that puts the volume of images in a different light.

OP it does sound from your responses that this issue bothers you, despite your acceptance of the situation at the beginning. Can you talk to him about it and find out the extent of his habit?

It wouldn't bother me. Surelyk it's a good think if a husband likes sex and likes women. Many men are into plane and train spotting and cataloging and spending evenings putting their CD collection into order. So the fact his collection is something which is interesting and sexy is surely better than it were 13,000 pictures of model trains surely?

People just differ. The saddest thing is he didn't want to share it with you. May be you have your own collection of 20,000 erotic photographs you could share with him. You could have an evening "comparing your etchings" as it were. Could mean a great new sex life in 2012. Be positive.

LOL at the million porn piccies making Urall the expert here.

They are not really car magazines.

I know, what a catch, the phrase "stagger back from the pub" says it all..

I admit I have skim-read this thread, as it is now so long.

The first feeling that sprung to my mind - and I am not even this man's wife, just an observer - was to feel utterly creeped out.

How much time has this man devoted to finding, classifying, filing away and presumably wanking over pictures of women? It makes me feel quit shivery.

Yuck.

And I am laughing hollow guffaws at those people who think this could be ';something positive' that will spice up their sex life. Bollocks. This man spends hours of his life cataloguing and wanking over pictures of porn stars. What is sexy about that? What can the OP get out of this situation?

I think this man is very sad.

It's just a hobby.Maybe his wife has 'gone to seed' a bit.

Yep. Or maybe he is really shit in bed with a tiny cock and this is how he makes himself feel like a 'big man'?

Anything is possible, I suppose.

Lolly, go away. Go and pick up some litter or something. Make a positive contribution to society.

I think my explanations more likely.

op.Is he really shit in bed with a tiny cock?

I doubt it. In my experience (professional) men with porn additctions are usually highly inadequate in one or more areas of their lives.

We know why he kept it secret - because he thought his wife would object which is a great shame. She might not. Why might she had given an impression of objecting?

Anyway she could say nothing or say - wow that's the sexist thing to happen to me seeing all that, let's take some picture of me to add to the collection, let's do a list of sexual aims for 2012. This could all be a great new development in their relationship.

Very Helpful Lolly