to just be a bit shocked by what I found on our computer today?

[MrsJangleBalls]

Disclaimer - I was not bloody snooping!

Well only a little bit. Long story but bear with me...

I am currently trying to download iCloud. It says to go to Networks and Sharing. Well it wasn't there, but access to my dh's files was. His pictures file. Now I know he collects pictures of nude wimmin because I've seen him looking at them before. So I thought I'd take a peek at the kind of thing he was looking at. It was pretty harmless, just lots of posed pictures of naked women, etc. That wasn't what shocked me.

There were over 13,000 pictures.

It was like a fucking library. There were folders, sub-folders, categories, sub-categories, different fetishes, a whole folder full of folders of different women with hundreds of pictures of them in each one (and each one was named!) not to mention folders of lingerie, etc.

Now I know I probably got what I deserved, but 13,000? That's bloody years of collecting it. There's no way I'm going to tell him I've seen it. I didn't touch it, just looked through it. He obviously doesn't know I can find it.

I feel like I ought to be impressed at the sheer scale of it. I'm tempted to move it and wait for him to start asking panicky questions about whether the computer has gone wrong or not.

I don't want to see a picture of your face.Or your stern.

Hey! Malificence gets the joke.!!

Neurotic- see the billion other threads on the topic, honestly. This one has jumped the shark.

Leave us alone Lebof.

Aitch - I'd delete it in a heartbeat.
I would find it harder to stop wanking altogether, although if my wife asked it of me, I'd give it my best shot, fnar fnar.
AyeRobot - the stuff I like, as mentioned elsewhere (I think), is mostly art nudes or stuff at that level of nudity. DW pefers self shot/amateur stuff, and you can generally tell the difference because everyone involved hasn't been waxed to within an inchof their lives and/or surgically enhanced.
Just to stir the waters a bit - there are health benefits to regular ejaculations - lower rates of prostate cancer, eg.

For what reason would you there be a suspicion.of non consent? Porn is a massive industry with good money available and no end of attention seekers willing to upload themselves

What I've noticed is that if it's men watching it it's 'porn' but if it's women in it the it's the 'Sex Industry'

NN -- for me, it's not jealousy

I think the porn industry as a whole is massively exploitative of women and young girls, and responsible for a lot of misery. Yes, some women participate in porn willingly and gladly, but many do so only because they have no other options, and many are literally forced to.

Of course, there is no way to know which is which when you are looking at a photo. There's also no way to know how old they are.

Also, the societal view that porn is normal and everyone does it reinforces the idea that men's sexual wants are paramount and women are subservient to them.

I'm not a prude, or uptight, but I have done a lot of research on organised crime and sex trafficking, and when you see what a huge business porn is and how many women are victimised by it, it's hard to see it as 'just naked photos'.

There is a lot of money in the porn industry but these days very little of it goes to the women involved.

"It was like a fucking library. There were folders, sub-folders, categories, sub-categories, different fetishes, a whole folder full of folders of different women"
He's taken something that lots of men would consider exciting and sexy and turned it into something akin to train spotting. Dump him and find somebody who keeps porn all willy nilly.

Actually, on re-reading the OP, the pictures are fairly tame naked poses and lingerie, which makes this even weirder, I wonder if this bloke has a few issues surrounding sex and shame?
We've got a photography book by Bob carlos Clarke that may well be considered pornographic by some, it is highly fetishistic in parts, DH bought it for me because I like his style of photography but if I'd bought it secretly and got it hidden under the bed then DH would be well within his rights to be upset if he found it.

If they are just posed naked pictures then OP's partner may well just like looking at them, it is possible to view sexually themed pics without needing to wank over them (if you're past the level of a 15 year old boy that is).

Would that be like the massivecounter trafficking operation? Remind me again how that went? I right just a mix of myth and smears. You seem to think inly women are invoked in porn and only men watch.

Porn pays hundreds per day. More per day than many people can earn in a fortnight.

Good post.I think we got sidetracked.

Sorry I meant good post Malificence.

UR I don't know what you mean about counter-trafficking.

And I never said only women are in porn.

Some people can make good money in porn but these days, with the globalisation of porn production and expansion of sex trafficking, there is simply no need to pay people a lot. The real money goes to the people producing and distributing, who are often involved in other dodgy businesses at the same time.

DreamingBohemian -
"Also, the societal view that porn is normal and everyone does it reinforces the idea that men's sexual wants are paramount and women are subservient to them."
How does this explain female porn users, be they hetero, homo or bisexual?
How does it explain female producers of porn - there are whole production studios owned, managed and staffed by women.
Finally, if a view is 'societal' (although the mixture of responses on here seems to suggest that this assertation is unfounded), then surely it has been formed by the members of a society, and who would know, better than they, what was normal amongst their own population?

Women porn makers/users make up a tiny, tiny percentage of the industry. So small as to almost be insignificant, almost. Honestly. Do your research. 99.9% or more of porn is made by men for men, and the profits go into male pockets.

There is no getting away from this fact, no matter what your views on porn are.

Most consumers of porn are men. The porn market is heavily geared toward fulfilling male heterosexual wants.

There is not a huge stream of adult men being trafficked for sex purposes.

Of course women use and produce porn. But that doesn't take away from the fact that it is primarily men who are using and profiting from it, and it is primarily women who are being sexualised to an unwanted extent in today's society. I'm not saying porn is the only cause of that, but it does contribute to that.

And as for societal views (by which I mean the conventional wisdom, or normative consensus, you get what I mean) at previous times in history most people in society thought women shouldn't vote, or that slavery was no big deal, or that white men had the moral right to colonise the globe. The conventional wisdom is not always ethically right.

Anyway I should probably leave this thread. I told AF I would take a go at a porn thread but my god it's depressing.

And now it's a porn debate [grin[

OP YANBU to be shocked at what you found. You need to talk to your husband

It is a porn debate, of course it is.

I think this sort of situation really brings home how you feel about porn. I would not stay with a man that catalogued thousands of pornographic images on his computer. It would completely put me off him, sexually and in every other way.

Other women (including the OP) might feel different, but there is no getting away from the fact that how you feel about this is completely tied up with how you feel about porn.

Gosh, I've just realised why I don't like porn

It's because I wish I was one of those young women that... were trafficked/ had an abusive upbringing/needs to support a drug habit/is too frightened of a violent partner to refuse to have all her orifices penetrated for some dick to wank over/needs to feed and clothe her children and has no other way

yep, that's it

well jel, me, I wish I could do it

db, cheers

soon you will end up like me, sarcasm being the lowest form of interaction < jaded >

. Any luck on my missing tonsil?

Well that wouldn't be so bad AF

So far though I just have an uncontrollable urge to bang my head on the wall for a few hours out of sheer frustration. I guess that's Phase 1.