To tell you about my fcking inlaw bollockses

[Tortington]

Im not doing it again. so i don't know what i'm going to say or do next year exactly, but im not doing xmas again.

listen to this

about three weeks ago sil was kinda saying how her house was too small (they are moving in januaryto a bigger rented place which is what we were talking about) we always alternate xmas dinner - this year it's their year and she said this exactly ' i don't know how we are going to fit everyone in here' so i said
' well you can always have it at ours - lbut let me know soon as the oven is broken and we will get it fixed if you are'

LAST THURSDAY sil was at my house and said '.....well when we are eating here on xmas day....'
'erm...we are having xmas day at my house?' says i?
' well...yes you offeed'
'oh ok' you cook the meat and roasters and i'll do the rest then as i haven';t got a cooker

so that's the scene

its not an unusual scene this - oh no - this is one of many benign neglect, thoughtless, passive aggressive incidents that i am sure ..nay positive all lie in some sibling insecurity - which in itself is laughable as PIL overtly favour BIL in the THE most awful shows of favouritsim that would make you gag - you wouldn't believe it if it was on tv. you really couldn't make this shit up

so xmas day.
lets do the thoughtless gifts and non gifts.

i buy mil vouchers for her fave store
fil whiskey
bil - some man smellies - nowt much tbh
sil - perfume

bils dsd aged 18 some smellies
sil/bil son aged 10 - a rocket science thing - a real rocket that you can set off

they buy me the cheapest regifted smelly set that was clearly not new
dh a t-shirt

my three kids 22 and twins 18 - nothing - not even a box of £2.20 roses

mil and fil buys dh and me nothing
buys my ldest son - nothing
biys the twins - a box of roses each

my eldest son for some reason is too old to have £2.50 spent on him at xmas

in and of itsself in an isolated incident one could brush it off - but this is 22 years of thoughtlessness.

so thoughtless and inconsiderate are they towards my children that my children REFUSED to spend xmas day with them - they are all adults and two have left home now, so they made their choices and
...i then spent xmas dinner and night without my childrenbecuase my inlaws are so fucking mean and clearly favouritise bils children

so out of two couples two of my children got one box of chocolates each after they declared they were having xmas dinner at my house the last minute

..............it gets better

no ones reading this at this point but i have to write it down becuae i hate them

DD and her partner went to partners family for xmas dinner, i said that i would drive them.

sil had previously said that they were coming to mine about 2pm

dd then asked me to pick up her partners mum on the way - the trip was further than i had thought it was going to be and took ages.

i arrived home at 2.30 - through no fault of my own

i then walked in to the whole family sat down to xmas day dinner without me

they came early and even dh didn't say 'hold on lets wait'

by this time i am fuming, pissed off , hurt andd angry.

then
then
then
the men

oh you wont believe the mysoginy -
the men play the wii
sil hints and hints
her daughter says shes bored
the mil says nothing
i have a go - but try and talk to the girls to keep them company - be a good host and all that

after this going on for literally hours

i take sil in kitchen, we sit on kitchen side and pour ourselves a drink and put the radio on

as soon as bil cottons on - fuck me he's all 'ooh were going now' quell surprise
cos sil can't have a good time

fuck them

theres no question or response needed to this tome of sprew ridden vitriol

mud - best idea yet

im not going to lie - it is my default position and i dont have a problem with it - but im angry so i'm going to tell them we are going away - they can take what they want from that.

i went to travel agents today!! si asked about teh flights to berlin and they said they wont be out and to check at the end of the month

so i will

dh came with. I think it might have something to do with yesterday when i said this " i'm going to berlin next xmas, you can come if you like - but you dont have to. ive found the hotel that im staying in and i just need to find flights"

he said " oh...erm...course i;m coming with you"

I told my Mum today that we're planning on staying home alone next year.

Not that I mind spending it with her but MIL will be hardest to tell so I was practising :)

he said " oh...erm...course i;m coming with you

LOL so he does actually know where his bread is buttered then!!!

good luck blathers - let me know how you get on

well we still have lots of kitchen ware left here from xms day and a couple of borrowed wii controlers that need to go back. Although i'm not sure why i have to take it to them? i dont want to be offish and rude just for the sake of it - but i might just pack it away.

on xmas day there was some voicings about new years eve tomorrow and maybe doing something. but have heard nothing - not a bean. i know they are cross with me - i can feel it and they have no right. so i kinda want to take the stuff over to them to show them in a polite yet cool way that it is I who is cross. i might do that actually

I really think you should. :)

I feel you'd be better texting them to let them know that their stuff is at your house and they can pick it up at their convenience (although I can understand why you'd just want shot of it).

Of course they're huffy! They've behaved very badly and you've not allowed them to get away with it, so they're sulking! So very immature.

Custy, this whole thread has really made me feel for you. I get it and just don't understand why your immediate family don't!!!!!!

One thing that struck me was the dinner timing, ok you were 30 mins late, well that is hardly a sackable offence and is usually the period of drink/nibbles. I know nowhere where you immediately sit down to eat the minute you get through the door.

The only times I have ever started before someone arriving (guest) have been when SIL even though she knows the time deigns to turn up 2-3 hours late for a meal. When she isn't the only guest I quite frankly feel that it is ridiculous to make everyone else wait for her. I mean really who eats sunday lunch at 3pm? With small children? And not feed them?

Go away next year, and if dh is difficult go with your children and leave him behind - i continue to threaten this but dh doesn't want to deal with any family (his or mine ) on his own so he would be with me immediately!