To tell you about my fcking inlaw bollockses

[Tortington]

Im not doing it again. so i don't know what i'm going to say or do next year exactly, but im not doing xmas again.

listen to this

about three weeks ago sil was kinda saying how her house was too small (they are moving in januaryto a bigger rented place which is what we were talking about) we always alternate xmas dinner - this year it's their year and she said this exactly ' i don't know how we are going to fit everyone in here' so i said
' well you can always have it at ours - lbut let me know soon as the oven is broken and we will get it fixed if you are'

LAST THURSDAY sil was at my house and said '.....well when we are eating here on xmas day....'
'erm...we are having xmas day at my house?' says i?
' well...yes you offeed'
'oh ok' you cook the meat and roasters and i'll do the rest then as i haven';t got a cooker

so that's the scene

its not an unusual scene this - oh no - this is one of many benign neglect, thoughtless, passive aggressive incidents that i am sure ..nay positive all lie in some sibling insecurity - which in itself is laughable as PIL overtly favour BIL in the THE most awful shows of favouritsim that would make you gag - you wouldn't believe it if it was on tv. you really couldn't make this shit up

so xmas day.
lets do the thoughtless gifts and non gifts.

i buy mil vouchers for her fave store
fil whiskey
bil - some man smellies - nowt much tbh
sil - perfume

bils dsd aged 18 some smellies
sil/bil son aged 10 - a rocket science thing - a real rocket that you can set off

they buy me the cheapest regifted smelly set that was clearly not new
dh a t-shirt

my three kids 22 and twins 18 - nothing - not even a box of £2.20 roses

mil and fil buys dh and me nothing
buys my ldest son - nothing
biys the twins - a box of roses each

my eldest son for some reason is too old to have £2.50 spent on him at xmas

in and of itsself in an isolated incident one could brush it off - but this is 22 years of thoughtlessness.

so thoughtless and inconsiderate are they towards my children that my children REFUSED to spend xmas day with them - they are all adults and two have left home now, so they made their choices and
...i then spent xmas dinner and night without my childrenbecuase my inlaws are so fucking mean and clearly favouritise bils children

so out of two couples two of my children got one box of chocolates each after they declared they were having xmas dinner at my house the last minute

..............it gets better

no ones reading this at this point but i have to write it down becuae i hate them

DD and her partner went to partners family for xmas dinner, i said that i would drive them.

sil had previously said that they were coming to mine about 2pm

dd then asked me to pick up her partners mum on the way - the trip was further than i had thought it was going to be and took ages.

i arrived home at 2.30 - through no fault of my own

i then walked in to the whole family sat down to xmas day dinner without me

they came early and even dh didn't say 'hold on lets wait'

by this time i am fuming, pissed off , hurt andd angry.

then
then
then
the men

oh you wont believe the mysoginy -
the men play the wii
sil hints and hints
her daughter says shes bored
the mil says nothing
i have a go - but try and talk to the girls to keep them company - be a good host and all that

after this going on for literally hours

i take sil in kitchen, we sit on kitchen side and pour ourselves a drink and put the radio on

as soon as bil cottons on - fuck me he's all 'ooh were going now' quell surprise
cos sil can't have a good time

fuck them

theres no question or response needed to this tome of sprew ridden vitriol

lastminute.com 2 days before Christmas, then ring the SIL and say 'you don't mind doing Christmas at your house this year do you? because we WONT BE HERE!!'

They sound heeedjus!

I didn't think a glass was enough so have given you a bottle.

Did your elder DC buy anyone gifts? You can't epect presents for them if they didn't.

custy next year tell them to stick it, you are having Christmas with your and your dcs instead .

Custy, I read all of your OP.

I think you should print out and give them this thread to read.

What a bunch of selfish cunts your ILs are. Tell to go to the far side of fuck to have their Christmas next year, and you, your DH and DCs should go somewhere nice for Christmas.

Do you only buy gifts in order to receive then BandOMothers?

I think you win hands down the worst Christmas. Always room here for a little one

Ah look I wasn't being mean ferret and sorry Custy I never realised you were so upset....I only said that because I get annoyed at my own enormous neice and nephew who happily take money off my Mum and give nothing back as though they were stll toddlers...they're 23 and 4 ffs.

I hope you feel better soon Custy.

23 and 24 ffs. NOt 23 and 4!

They siund like a proper bunch of bellends.
Surely there is a "I,m a mil and my dil thinks i,m a c^^t, cos i am one" website. I have not seen my mil since 11 september thank fcuk. She lives local too. , why are some of them such complete twats???

Your il,s register very highly on the unreasonable register :O(

BandOMothers Tue 27-Dec-11 18:00:01
Did your elder DC buy anyone gifts? You can't epect presents for them if they didn't.

==============
and if this wee a tit for tat instead of sn adult world i would agree. tis the fuccking reason i buy their teenage kids presents.

and even so

get this shit

they bought two 18 yos a box of 1.50 chocolates

but not a 22 yo. so - tell me the equity in that

i wouldnt be so pissed off if there was euqity

if they ddid't buy my kids,l did't but sil's teenage kids who didn't buy them a present

its the equity

treat everyone like shit - thats fine - single mine out - and actually its not fine

shit going up the threaad sen the apology and feel stupid

apology accepted

im a cunt

Good thing you're so nice to yourself, saves us the trouble .

You are not a cunt. You've had a shit couple of days and are on a hair trigger.
Cut yourself some slack, would you?

Custy, You are not a cunt

They are a collective bunch of cunts

bloody cheek of them .

Come to mine next year - Ill cook you beef wellington and get you drunk on port.

Fucking great, people out there who feel my pain. Go girls!
My ILs drive me fucking mad and make me want to spit. my MIL is a manipulative, self absorbed bitch. Seriously you could not make it up. Sometimes I nearly laugh out loud she is so rediculously spoilt.
Likewise next year it's Xmas day on our own. My Mil can go and boss someone else about as after 8 years I couldn't give a fuckwits ass what she thinks..

I am never going to moan about little Christmas annoyances ever again after reading this and other stories on here

Glad you and your DH went and laid it out for them. I totally understand the not liking confrontation but sometimes we all have to screw up our courage and say our piece.

I hope it works out much better next year -start planning now with military precision including pre-prepared responses to awkward questions.

I still reckon Custy's DH owes her a hug, a hot bath, some wine, and dinner out.

really sorry about last nights post - i was shitfaced. got monumentally drunk for the first time this christmas.

i have only left the setee to go for a wee - dh has been fetching and carrying tablets/water/food/brews all day - as he bloody should.

the pils went home and it so happened i had monumental hangover and so didn't go and see them off...but it obviously came across s a snub - which ofcourse it was.

there will be fall out - it will be reduced to being my fault - they actually did gret job of reducing it to that whilst we were there to have a word actually.

mil said to bil " custy is upset becuase we started xmas dinner without her"

i pointedly said "AND...??" ...remember that i had literally just gathered the courage to blurt stuff out crying and the whole shebang seconds before

"oh well you tell it then love.." she said

" well it ws the not getting ds1 a box of chocolates..."
"well we have an unopened tin here - give him that" said MIL...totally wilfully missing the point - she's not a stupid woman
"and we were going to give the twins a fiver but forgot to leave it" said BIL
" dont be silly..now.." said sil
"right then she's alright" said FIL in a northern thats a fucking line under it-move-on-now tone

and that was literally that. i will be a fraught strung out slightly unstable sort now y'know.

but i've literally had it now - im cross.

so anyway, you lot have been total rocks and its great to get perspective that actually this kid of behaviour isn't normal.

and you - all of you - helped so much in that regard when i was arguing /talking with dh about it - i just kept repeating to myself that actually i'm not the only person who thinks this is odd - lots of people think this is really poor behaviour actually.

sometimes i think its quite easy for other people to put women with complaints into that 'fraught' 'slightly unstable' box. which is hugely unfair - i deal with the most difficult situations and people on a daily basis, manage projects, strategies/budgets/staff....and suddenly i'm some dainty corset clad brainless long skirted type who faints at a raised voice...well thats how they make me feel

so anway, you lot were hugely invaluable thank you from the bottom of my heart for listening to my story whining

What are you going to do now Custy?

I mean, how are you going to handle it? They've only said all that because your DH had a word with them, they clearly dont give a shit.

come the revolution i don't rate most mils' chances
certainly not mine

Arsewipes, the lot of 'em.
and you weren't whining at all - you have justifiable and legitimate complaints - not in any way lessened by their pathetic response.

Still, now you know, don't you - so next time you'll do exactly what YOU want to and they can all swivel.

Hope you have a better New Year!

Hey custardoFuckXmas - don't know you but just read your story, how familiar that sounds. In my humble opinion u should fuck the lot of them and go and enjoy yourself elsewhere next year. I would rather stay in a tent in a f'ing welsh bog than do Christmas with my inlaws or indeed any other of the days in the year. They are a nasty bunch of spiteful hedgewitches. Fuck the lot of them.

You need a plan for Christmas 2012 and start sowing the seeds. Invite the DCs partners & parents (& other random family members), or book somewhere and go out/away for Christmas. Either way, get working on it in the new year so it's concrete by the summer and you simply can't have them over or go to theirs!!

No need to openly say it if you don't want to, just get on and make alternative arrangements first.

in answer to 'what am i going to do now' - i am going to be frostily polite and back back back away.