Xmas presents I am not happy and feeling like a child...

[sassyminder]

There was 2 couples and a single women at our home for Xmas, all from my usband family ( mother and father in law, brother in law with girlfriend and sister in law) and I made sure I bougtht them all of them gifts on behalf of me, my husband and dd.
For the lady's one hand made to order ( very pretty and one of a kind) handbag each, one expensive umbrella each and one L'occitane en provence set of 3 hand cream each. For the gentlemen I bouth 1 pringle of Scotland Polo Shirt, for FIL, Diesel Laptop Bag for BIL and Animal manbag for DH + L'occitane en Provence after shave for all of men.
Here is what I get:
2 primark pyjama bottoms from BIL and girlfriend (one is XXL and other is S, I am size 8 so only one is good)
1 hideous hat from SIL
1 bodycream from poundland from In Laws.

They really took the piss this year!
My husband and daughter got nice things obviously.
it is not all about presents, but it hurts see they give each other nice stuff and do this to me, I would rather them tell me what the fuck the problem is they have with me and give me absolutely nothing!!!
Next year I am going all the way to spend Xmas with my own family fuck them.
My DD is the only child in the family so they will be sad and alone.

And they won't have my hospitality ( yes I always host spending on food, drinks, eletricity and so on) even tough we work full time until the 23rd (hubby until 24th) and boxing day.

I don't blame my DH, he always waits for his bonus after new year to buy me nice presents, and this year I am getting an Iphone and Apple laptop.

Bitches.

You sound lovely!

Blimey.
Why do you spend so much?

thats abit harsh, hidden home, I think the OP is more upset about feeling under appreciated, rather than the value of the gifts. A nicely worded thankyou card woundn't have cost anything, but might have made her feel better, is that right OP?

So what if the OP spent lots of money on expensive gifts, she obviously has the money and if she doesn't, then more fool her! Maybe the other 'givers' are struggling for money-don't be so ungrateful. Some people get nothing.

I sound like misery and spend so much....
how would you feel seeing your husband and daughter getting nice stuff and you getting poundland stuff while you spent time and worried about getting everybody else nice things they would really love and enjoy and also creating a nice Xmas experience for them???

i can see how it might be hurtful to put a lot of thought and energy in to presents and xmas stuff and to feel as though others do not take the same care

i don't think it is necessarily a reflection of how they feel - my PiL when they were still fit to go out + buy presents invariable bougt weird or inappropriate (as in ????) gifts for my dh and they adore him, obv

other people might resent buying for other adults - in our family we only buy for kids/our spouses or partners

they may be broke

there could be many reasons

really, try not to take it to heart. i would echo the sentiment of the poster who said you shouldn't give to get - if you can't do it with a glad heart, don't do it. you might find people are less bothered than you might think!

I know what you mean.I went through a phase of buying my SIL nice stuff after we were first married, and never got much in return. It's not a money thing, it's a thoughtfulness thing. It is annoying when you've got ILs nice presents AND put a lot of effort into having them stay, so I don't think you quite deserve the last few comments.

Just don't put in much (any) effort next year, and let your DH sort everything out. And don't have them over next year.

Although am not sure how you have a BIL and SIL if your DH is an only child?

alternatively, if they gave your dh and dd nice stuff, and you rubbish, they may dislike you or not wish to buy for you - fair enough

don't feel you need to be responsible in any way for making xmas happen then - let dh sort out his family's stuff, and you your own

Bit harsh, some of these replies. I think I'd have something to say at some Xxl pyjama bottoms if I were obviously a small. And what the hell is she supposed to put on the top half?

Body cream from pound land will no doubt smell shit and bring her out in a rash. If people are so strapped they can't afford to spend more than a quid on someone's present then I'm not sure they should bother at all. Maybe do some homemade home baking or jam making or something instead for someone as there's not a lot of choice for something nice anywhere for just a quid!

They are shit presents, op, no thought involved whatsoever, and I'm guessing that's why it hurts as you put a lot of thought into yours (forget the cost).

Right. It's not about the gifts at all, is it?

They clearly have a problem with you which you haven't gone into in your OP. It sounds like previous Christmases have been similar and you were expecting this on some level.

So it was maybe daft to go and buy them all that stuff knowing you were unlikely to get much from them/they wouldn't appreciate your effort.

Can you give us more background on the emotional picture, it might stop people judging you as shallow and materialistic and instead focus on the problem.

I think, money aside, op has put thought and consideration into her gifts. The recipients have not because they don't care.

Now, there is a lesson you learn the hardway once.

Less expensive, generic gifts are the way to goon the future with those people. Easy.

Oh, soz. Misread the only child bit. Although don't assume that no children = crap Christmas for everyone else, they'll probably have quite a good time suiting themselves.

I would never spend as much as you. I would be in the poor house. Maybe they have money issues and may feel bad that you spend so much. Next year, could you still host and buy cheap still thoughtful presents?

Maybe they sense your resentment. IMHO presents are bought because you think the recipient will like them - the value is unimportant. You don't give to receive - and if you do, then you may find that this right royally pisses some folk off. Get over yourself - christmas gifts are for children - adults should be just that adult enough to just enjoy the company of their friends and family

Get over yourself and next year buy them primark stuff. Simple.

panda the op explained her bil and sil are the children of her pil's... I.e her DH's sister and brother?

Op next year just get them normal presets for a tenner each. Or 3for2 from Boots if it bothers you.

I understand your resentment. I too am a materialistic old bat.

Play them at their own game next year. Cheap shite all round. No hard feelings.

Lovely reverse snobbery on this thread! How dare the op spend money on nice gifts. Pretend to be poor and everso 'umble op!

One person's hideous hat is another person's hideous handbag or polo shirt.

It would hurt me if my in-laws obviously purchased nice gifts for dh and dc and then gave me something that was a deliberate snub gift. If this is what you are inferring they do, each year?

Is your dh awate of this, would he be complicit next year and say he bought the gifts this year and buy them something more erm....appropriate?

However am at your iphone and apple mac that are are do to recieve so on that basis I am declaring YABU, and not just on this thread, but every single thread you do forevermore. That's right every single one

Adults buying each other presents is silly anyway. Time you stopped the tradition if it is causing problems.