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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To be annoyed after visiting the Feminism section?

571 replies

Laquitar · 25/12/2011 23:39

Sorry, i know its Christmas but i got annoyed.

OP posts:
akaemmafrostythesnowwoman · 26/12/2011 00:45

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HandDivedScallopsrgreat · 26/12/2011 00:55

You haven't given any reasons Laquitar either on here or on the thread on Feminism. You have just called us silly, patronizing and giving Feminism a bad name. Those aren't reasons. It's just name-calling.

maryz · 26/12/2011 01:03

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LineRunner · 26/12/2011 01:13

Are you just disappointed, Laquitar?

LEttletownofBOFlehem · 26/12/2011 01:14

I'm not going to flame you, Maryz, and I'm glad you don't feel unfairly treated. But there are quite a few women on mumsnet who have posted threads about how stressful and overwhelmed they feel at Christmas, because they find that the lion's share of the work falls to them, and they are struggling to cope with their families' shitty attitudes. I'm lucky not to be among them either, but it doesn't stop me being able to see that a lot of this tension comes from the traditional roles that many women are expected to adopt.

squeakytoy · 26/12/2011 01:24

My opinion is that traditional roles can work very well in many relationships, so long as there is respect (and support when it is needed) on both sides.

I do find that a lot of feminists seem to sneer at and be very patronising towards any woman who is content to be in a what is deemed a traditional relationship with her male partner/husband.

I also find the recurrent outrage over envelopes addressed "wrongly" and the flapping over pink or blue toys to be highly amusing.

LRDtheFeministDragon · 26/12/2011 01:29

It's fucking rude to say you find threads 'silly', especially if it's because you're fortunate enough not to need the support they give.

Tyr · 26/12/2011 01:33

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LRDtheFeministDragon · 26/12/2011 01:36

That's us, tyr, really stupid. Grin

Bless your little heart.

Btw, handdived, I think you're conflating me and BOF on page 1 and it had me mightily confused for a moment, to see my name on a thread I had not yet posted on. Grin

LEttletownofBOFlehem · 26/12/2011 01:39

The threads I've noticed are from women who are upset because they don't feel respected or supported though. And being addressed in a way which you feel demeans you doesn't sound much fun either. And I guess that the posters who complain about what they see as their children being steered into the rigid box of gender stereotyping which they've experienced as being rather limiting and frustrating are only reacting against unfairness too. It might seem trivial in the specifics to some people, but it doesn't take a huge leap of imagination to understand that women don't want their children to grow up in a world which limits them and might make them unhappy, does it? That sounds like something which is reasonable to be concerned about, rather than something to sneer at, I think.

Tyr · 26/12/2011 01:41

squeakytoy Mon 26-Dec-11 01:24:59

"I also find the recurrent outrage over envelopes addressed "wrongly" and the flapping over pink or blue toys to be highly amusing."

Are they whingeing about that too? I suppose they need something to yap about while they await the next offensive t-shirt or joke to write letters of complaint about.

LRDtheFeministDragon · 26/12/2011 01:43

Well said BOF.

When you're down, even little kicks hurt.

moonferret · 26/12/2011 01:56

That section is full of quite extreme people. I found it consisted of one or two people who could debate reasonably intelligently, together with a rag-tag army of angry women who couldn't put a half rational argument forward if their lives depended on it. It was amusing for a while...

LEttletownofBOFlehem · 26/12/2011 01:59

Yay, a slag the feminists pile-on- it must be Christmas! Oh, wait, it's just like any other week Xmas Hmm. Or maybe just Hmm.

LRDtheFeministDragon · 26/12/2011 02:04

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moonferret · 26/12/2011 02:17

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moonferret · 26/12/2011 02:23

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yellowraincoat · 26/12/2011 02:29

Oh my goodness, what is the point in this sniping at each other?

I totally understand that discussion of feminist issues is not for everyone: no problem, don't go in there. The same way I don't go into baby names or TV, I'm just not interested.

Some people are quite extreme in their beliefs, and maybe that puts some people off. It shouldn't though, there is room for everyone. Maybe I don't agree with communism, it doesn't mean I can't vote for a left-wing party, or discuss left-wing viewpoints.

Seriously, I don't know why feminism is such a divisive issue. If you don't believe Christmas promotes some patriarchal structures, that's fine, state that and move on. You don't need to get pissy if someone disagrees. And vice versa.

LoremIpsum · 26/12/2011 02:31

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HeartsTrumpDiamonds · 26/12/2011 03:29

Righty-ho, off to look at the feminism section for them first time.

SilentBoob · 26/12/2011 05:28

Who the fuck is this "they" in the Feminist section everyone keeps talking about?

Are people who post in the feminist section not allowed to creep out and post in other sections too then? Is feminism not compatible with being pregnant, fertility issues, having a relationship, chatting to friends or owning chickens?

Shit, I didn't realise. I've been posting all over Mumsnet as and where the fancy takes me.

sakura · 26/12/2011 05:57

I've just got four words for the OP:
"Two women a week"

(You could say I'm one of the women with a chip on her shoulder)

Two women a week...

sakura · 26/12/2011 06:03

...are murdered in the UK alone

by men (quelle surprise! By who else!)

so if a chat about who does the cooking at Christmas stresses you out, then no, I don't think feminism is for you. Best to stay away IMO

stainesmassif · 26/12/2011 06:06

To answer the OP and keep it as relevant as possible. YABU.

FellatioNelson · 26/12/2011 06:15

I know exactly what you mean and YANBU. I find some of their threads helpful, insightful, educative and fascinating, but it is almost always spoilt by threads that make my eyes roll so far back in may head it's a wonder I can read them at all, and they leave me with a negative overall impression of the entire topic.

I also dislike the way there is no room for debate there. They seem only interesting in a nice submissive, pliable audience to teach or preach to. Anyone daring to question them or raise a counter-argument is soundly stamped on and shouted down immediately, and rigorous analysis of any of their posts/links is viewed as misogynist trollery.

They seem to have become confused with the idea that the Feminism board being 'a safe have to discuss feminism' actually means 'this is our own private clique topic where you are only welcome if you agree with everything we say.'

It's a bit like me and a hardcore group of parents who use private education taking over the Education topic, and saying that as our DCs are privately educated we are only willing to engage with other parents who have made the same choice, and from now on, anyone who wants to come on the Education topic must be prepared to do it from the perspective of believing that private is best. Not sending yours private, or wishing you could? Then you are entitled to comment on any aspect of education at all.

That is how the Feminism section comes across to me.

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