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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To be annoyed after visiting the Feminism section?

571 replies

Laquitar · 25/12/2011 23:39

Sorry, i know its Christmas but i got annoyed.

OP posts:
HandDivedScallopsrgreat · 27/12/2011 13:34

We don't have to be open to your's or Nicey's opinions.

Just thought I'd mention that.

NICEySigh · 27/12/2011 13:39

"No idea what you are talking about with regards to mental health."

Doesn't really surprise me. Selective reading is common theme too.

I dunno, there was a thread the other day started by a guy who did a double take at a kid in the street and smiled at him because he looked just like his nephew. Mother called him a paedo....

And we sit and wonder why the number of men going into primary school teaching is declining.

And then we sit moan about why this is a 'man's' job or this is a 'woman's' job.

If you see or hear another mother coming out with clap trap like that, for gods sake challenge them about it.

And don't get me started on the women who come on here complaining about how the media portrays women and then they go out and buy the worst offending magazines and newspapers and fuel the industry! Ditto, diets.

And oh look. The obligatory 'anti-feminist' remark about " "Hysterical" ...now where have I heard that before? Oh yeah...from the menz."

So yeah, women aren't hysterical when they go round shouting paedo at men in the street. And there are absoluetely no hysterical threads or comments on MN? Blah.

I find the hypocrisy and short sighted blinkeredness utterly gobsmacking.

I give up. Really I do.

HandDivedScallopsrgreat · 27/12/2011 13:42

I think I'll invoke thunder's comment now.

Tl;dr

HandDivedScallopsrgreat · 27/12/2011 13:43

Although just noticed your last paragraph. Please do.

seeker · 27/12/2011 13:48

"So yeah, women aren't hysterical when they go round shouting paedo at men in the street. And there are absoluetely no hysterical threads or comments on MN? Blah. "

actually, everyone who contributed on that thread said that the woman concerned was hysterical. i think without exception.

AyeFartedOnSantasLap · 27/12/2011 13:49

I think you might be confusing women with feminists. Feminists tend to challenge the thinking behind gendered behaviour, not buy objectifying magazines, want more flexible working for everyone (not just parents), encourage the breaking down of proscribed hyper-masculinity and uber-femininity and you will see all of this explained by posters who describe themselves as feminists. But not all women are feminists, as you have seen on MN and many times have the above been dismissed on here as being over-thinkers.

I can draw you a Venn diagram, if you like.

seeker · 27/12/2011 13:51

""No idea what you are talking about with regards to mental health."

Doesn't really surprise me. Selective reading is common theme too. '

well i read our comment carefully and i don't know what you mean by that either!

yellowraincoat · 27/12/2011 13:52

redwinegum, I do not understand this obsession people have at the moment of saying men are under the same pressure to look good as women. How many magazines like Nuts, Zoo, FHM are there, all of them depicting a certain standard of how a woman should look? Compared with how many there are depicting men? I don't remember the last time I went into WH Smith and saw a magazine exclusively dedicated to leery pictures of men.

Look on TV. Even on the news, the women are thin and attractive. There are very few women on TV who are not young and slim. Even on a show like 30 Rock, which is often pushing a female rights envelope, you rarely see a fat woman on it, whereas there are many fat men.

I do not shave my armpits. I have had SO many comments about it. Mostly "blergh". No one can ever explain to me why it's "blergh" but it just is. Women "shouldn't" have hair there apparently. Well, I do and so does every woman I know. On the other hand, I have never been in any situation where someone was telling my male partner that some facet of his body was "disgusting" or that he "shouldn't" look like that.

I am under no illusion that men are under more pressure to look than they used to be. But it's certainly not comparable to the pressure women are under.

seeker · 27/12/2011 13:52

sorry. your comments, that should read.

vesuvia · 27/12/2011 13:55

My overall impression of this thread is that it started as some disgruntled self-identified feminists complaining that the Mumsnet feminist section was not "good" feminism and not representative of all the marvellous feminists that the complainers know and admire outside Mumsnet.

Now the thread has changed into rubbishing feminism in general, Mumsnet feminist section and every other feminist.

So "I'm out".

yellowraincoat · 27/12/2011 13:55

Oh and also, frigid man hater, really? You think that's what being a feminist means? I'd better tell my partner then, I don't think he realised that part of being with me would involve me hating him and never wanting it Hmm

NICEySigh · 27/12/2011 13:56

BoneyBackJefferson

That kind of stuff goes back to one of the original points I made, that probably was in one of the ones that got deleted about the passive aggressive bullying and the problem with the feminism section of MN. The last couple of pages have had some superbly good examples of the some of the put downs you get when you challenge a few ideas in there and dare to suggest something to do with men. You can't do on MN. Its totally off-limits.

tl;dr , menz, selective reading, the hard done by "SO PROVE MEN HAVE IT BAD TOO".

Its not about that. Its about, realising that actually this brand of feminism is blinkered, narrow minded and can be damaging in its own right.

I find it hard to feel part of a female community that has those views. Time and time again, I think MN isn't a feminist community and the feminist section is most definitely the worst part of it. Its one that tries and forces you to fit in and does not like freedom of opinion and tries to kill it. I've been on more vicious forums and find them easier. It the incidicious, snidey, just off the radar comments that are far nastier actually. I'd much rather there was just insult hurling rather than that time of comment. It much more deliberate.

And then theres the one about "please do give up".

Thank you MN for totally proving my point. Over and out. I have no place here. I am not a woman.

HandDivedScallopsrgreat · 27/12/2011 14:08

You do have a place. It's just that place is not telling us what to do and how to feel.

HandDivedScallopsrgreat · 27/12/2011 14:10

Again I just read the last paragraph, to clarify.

seeker · 27/12/2011 14:11

niceysigh - I tried to engage with you but you ignored me.

OnemorningXmasCockMonkey · 27/12/2011 14:11

Precisely. The 'menz' comment comes about when a feminist thread is derailed into talking about how men feel.

Enjoy! derailing for dummies

Hullygully · 27/12/2011 14:17

This is so eerily reminiscent of my dc bickering on a day when they've eaten too much choc and been up too late the night before.

How does this sort of carry on help/aid/further/change/improve anything? It just increases the sum total of spite in the world.

Where is the will to understand and ameliorate?

AnyFuckerForAMincePie · 27/12/2011 14:22

Nicey did you just read the OP of the "peedo" thread, then ?

AnyFuckerForAMincePie · 27/12/2011 14:30

I also don't understand people who hang around this site, if they really don't like it

You keep saying you don't like it here, we are all rubbish

So find some people who aren't rubbish then.

AnyFuckerForAMincePie · 27/12/2011 14:32

it's akin to me going onto a biking site and repeatedly saying "you should be doing this to your bmx, not that and you are nasty for not listening to me"

AnyFuckerForAMincePie · 27/12/2011 14:33

do bmx's still exist ?

APanbyanyothername · 27/12/2011 14:34

this thread takes 2 step back, then.... another 2 steps back.Hmm
I'd ask NICEY to stick around. I say this full in the knowldge he will, despite "I give up" and "over and out".

c'mon....

HandDivedScallopsrgreat · 27/12/2011 14:34

Oh yes AD. There's an Olympic sporting event and everything!

HandDivedScallopsrgreat · 27/12/2011 14:36

Sorry AF. Bloody phone!

Youllbewaiting · 27/12/2011 14:36

Well... I suppose he could say this is a parenting site and not a feminist site.

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