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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

How often do you see a man you find physically attractive in real life?

191 replies

Dontsvetmuchforafatgirl · 21/12/2011 20:16

Just wondering. I realised today how rare this was for me.

I find my husband attractive. Bizarrely more so simply by being out the house. I saw him in the park today and really fancied him, just as a man. Albeit one that happened to have our kids playing with him. I found myself watching and admiring his shoulders, profile and arse.

I also found myself thinking that outside DH I have only seen 3 instantly physically attractive men in 10 years. The screen seems full of them. Just wondering how attraction works for other people. Also whether seeing your OHs in a different setting makes them more attractive?

OP posts:
kerrymumbles · 21/12/2011 21:45

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Francagoestohollywood · 21/12/2011 21:46

YANBU.
I very rarely see men whom I find attractive. And most of the ones I find attractive are def very young Blush.

Still find dh attractive, and certainly much better than most of the men around!

Goldrill · 21/12/2011 21:46

ooh - loads! I was never very picky though.

DH is in a different league entirely. We work in the same field and sometimes I have to have meetings with him where he's just so professional and grown up and knows so much stuff that I come across as a complete moron, possibly slobbering slightly.

I spend a lot of time with an ex as he's my business partner and now I've got over what a complete arse he can be I find it amazing quite how handsome he is, but also that I can genuinely think of that objectively and don't fancy him in the slightest. Very bizarre.

newmum001 · 21/12/2011 21:46

All the time, but I mustn't be very fussy or maybe I live in an area that is blessed with lots of very attractive men. I was once coming out of the shop and a very sexy guy held the door open for me and dd (who was in a buggy) and she looked up at him with a beautiful smile and said "hiya daddy" to which he replied in a very sexy way "something you need to tell me?" I was mortified and giggled like a bloody child. Luckily dd has since moved on from her phase of calling every man she comes into contact with daddy.

newmum001 · 21/12/2011 21:46

All the time, but I mustn't be very fussy or maybe I live in an area that is blessed with lots of very attractive men. I was once coming out of the shop and a very sexy guy held the door open for me and dd (who was in a buggy) and she looked up at him with a beautiful smile and said "hiya daddy" to which he replied in a very sexy way "something you need to tell me?" I was mortified and giggled like a bloody child. Luckily dd has since moved on from her phase of calling every man she comes into contact with daddy.

forehead · 21/12/2011 21:47

Kerry.., you just forget how gorgeous they are until you observe them in a different environment.

AlwaysbeOpralFruitstome · 21/12/2011 21:48

YY to the seeing DH in a different setting - I was looking through photo's of my db wedding the other day and came across on of a bloke that I thought , "cor he's a bit handsome" and then realised it was DH.

Other than that, rarely. There was a stunningly gorgeous teacher at DC's school who has thankfully now left as I was dreading the moment DS was in his class and me being escorted off the premises, one parents evening, for indecent assault staring inappropriately.

kerrymumbles · 21/12/2011 21:48

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

mercibucket · 21/12/2011 21:50

Every day - I like men! Stll fancy dh as well so lucky me. I also work in a uni, pippi, so maybe there's a connection!

Francagoestohollywood · 21/12/2011 21:53

Of course in a Uni environment it'd be easier to see attractive people, given that usually they are of a younger age....

LydiaWickham · 21/12/2011 22:01

DH is properly gorgeous, esp even more now he's lost that little bit of extra weight he was carrying. I know what you mean about seeing him in a different context.

I do also see some gorgeous men now and then, but then I work in Mayfair.

FestiveFrollockingFrenzy · 21/12/2011 22:02

Rarely and agree seeing your dp in a different setting can open your eyes.

PreviouslyonLost · 21/12/2011 22:02

kerrymumbles Don't know that someone else would find DH attractive?

However, I can't see past him, no-one else comes close - in looks (imo) or personality. (Can you tell he won't be home for Christmas Xmas Sad )

I can understand the George Clooney type and can appreciate it, but doesn't make me want to rip my clothes off. (Bet HE couldn't replumb a house/fix the wiring/lay a sub-floor/repair the car/wipe the first meconium'ed bottom so very, very gently, single-handed anyway Xmas Wink )

Cybbo · 21/12/2011 22:05

Every day

SuePurblybiltbyElves · 21/12/2011 22:07

Honestly, I've been single now for over two years and I've not had so much as a flutter of a groin-twang. I think my standards are lowering daily though, not sure if that's a good thing.

joannita · 21/12/2011 22:15

Pretty often. I work in the centre of a big city. There are loads of scenic young fellas on my bus route (students) and a good sprinkling of older dudes too. Keeps my roving eye satisfied!

sillymillyb · 21/12/2011 22:16

I can think of 3 in the last 10 years too.... I wish I fancied more people, it would make finding a fella a lot easier!

PishWife · 21/12/2011 22:17

I almost never notice a man for his appearance, it's always his behaviour or personality first.

So if he is clever, unusual, kind, not afraid to be unpopular, creative and carries a suggestion of being imaginatively filthy in bed, that gets me going.

If he ticks all those boxes (which is rare) then, provided he is mostly symmetrical, I probably would.

Luckily DH is all of those things PLUS tall, dark and handsome.

SlinkingOutsideInSocks · 21/12/2011 22:19

Rarely, now that I think about it.

I used to see them all the time though. Xmas Hmm Are blokes in their 20s really better looking, or was I just more open to noticing them back then? I think the latter, since good-looking men in their 30s are, IMO, more handsome. Plus, I was out back in those days, mixing and mingling... These days you tend to hang round more with your own group of friends and not be so responsive to strangers in the way you are in your 20s.

I very rarely see someone as good looking as DH, or even just someone who makes me think, 'you're a bit of alright'... Can't believe I used to all the time. I miss those days... Xmas Grin Xmas Wink Not really much.

DaydreamingOfAWhiteXmasDolly · 21/12/2011 22:19

This is so weird I had the exact same feeling today, and told DH when he got in from work that I have not, in years, seen another man as attractive (to me) as him. Thought he should know Smile
He went pink and said it must be my hormones (28w pg) Xmas Grin

FreudianSlipper · 21/12/2011 22:20

depends on the time of month and who i fancy changes too

i am seeing someone at the moment its nice but not madly in love so i still notice other men but for some odd reason when i am in the first stages of falling in love i fancy a lot more other men than i usually do or i am just very horny

i have always fancied others even when madly in love, its just attraction nothing more

MorelliOrRanger · 21/12/2011 22:21

Not often TBH, but like others have said I find my DP physically attractive so tend not to look at other 'available' men in that way. On screen bloody loads but they are 'not available'

LePruneDeMaTante · 21/12/2011 22:22

Like so many others, I very, very rarely see an attractive man. Partly it's geographical: in some parts of the country there's just a higher concentration of men who look after themselves. Round my way, not so much Grin It's all sweatpants and tiny white slipper-sneakers and sweaty mousy hair and a bit of a raddled look, frankly (no matter how old). Where I used to live it was all posh students and nicely-besuited academics, much easier on the eye in general.

I once had a student who was so attractive I almost couldn't teach him, I kept losing my place and trying to gather myself together. One and only moment of temptation.

I wonder if men feel the same about attractive women ie there are hardly any?

LePruneDeMaTante · 21/12/2011 22:24

Ooh I have just remembered, one of the school gate dads is just my type but I've never spoken to him and have no reason to speak to him. But not blow-your-mind attractive, he just looks quite well-turned-out, which is a rare thing at our school gate Blush

TwelveGaysOfChristmas · 21/12/2011 22:25

Very very very very rarely!

I have the normal "actor" crushes such as Jude Law, Chris Hemsworth, David Tenant etc, but I very rarely see someone in real-life where I go "wow!".

With DP I get a glimpse of him and it's like I'm seeing something all shiny and new! He has the most wonderful smile. It changes his whole face into something that's normally cute and babyish into a gorgeous and ruggedly-handsome Mills & Boone character!