to ask... what do SAHMs do all day?

[PoppyAmex]

I'm pregnant with my first child and was recently speaking to a friend about SAHMs and I mentioned I've been reading so many threads here about how some feel their work at home isn't valued by husbands / partners / people in general.

Following up on this conversation, my friend (a mum of 3) sent me the text below and I thought I'd share as I found it amusing. Maybe a good strategy for women complaining about the same problem?

"A man came home from work and found his three children outside, still in their pyjamas, playing in the mud, with empty food boxes and wrappers strewn all around the front yard. The door of his wife's car was open, as was the front door to the house and there was no sign of the dog.

Proceeding into the entry, he found an even bigger mess. A lamp had been knocked over, and the throw rug was wadded against one wall. In the front room the TV was loudly blaring a cartoon channel, and the family room was strewn with toys and various items of clothing. In the kitchen, dishes filled the sink, breakfast food was spilled on the counter, the fridge door was open wide, dog food was spilled on the floor, a broken glass lay under the table, and a small pile of sand was spread by the back door.

He quickly headed up the stairs, stepping over toys and more piles of clothes, looking for his wife. He was worried she might be ill, or that something serious had happened. He was met with a small trickle of water as it made its way out the bathroom door. As he peered inside he found wet towels, scummy soap and more toys strewn over the floor. Miles of toilet paper lay in a heap and toothpaste had been smeared over the mirror and walls.

As he rushed to the bedroom, he found his wife still curled up in the bed in her pyjamas, reading a novel. She looked up at him, smiled, and asked how his day went. He looked at her bewildered and asked, 'What happened here today?' She again smiled and answered, 'You know how every day when you come home from work you ask me what in the world I do all day?' 'Yes,' was his incredulous reply. She answered, 'Well, today I didn't do it.'"

I'm with BurntToffee, we are indeed all shit. There's no wonder this country has gone to the dogs.

Did they ever find the dog?

at the anti Sahm posts

I am a Sahm to a 3 year old and 18 month old

This is the hardest job I have ever done

Dh works 11 hours out of home I have NO family help I do it all alone apart from weekends

The 18 month old still wakes 4-5 times a night

I am exhausted

I take them out make them friends cook clean referee fights

It takes a lot more than 30 mins to do my home

Sahm get no respect due to such ignorant views

you protest too much op,you knew this would be the usual spat
hence the here's a provocative thread title....sahm finger paint,do jolly phonics,have enriching activities every day

and working mums miss precious moments by pursuing avaricious lifestyle.don't know why they had children if they leave em with strangers all day

I think it very much depends on the person.

I found 6 months maternity leave unbearable. By 6 weeks I had the pram parked in the local learning centre doing volunteer learning support. I finished my degree and did some other home study courses. I redecorated. I walked into town every dry morning after dropping DD1 at school. If it had gone on much longer I think I would have been driven to drink!!

But the thing is, all my social circle are people who work full time. So I didnt have friends around during the day to spend time with - and I loathed the mums groups, I adore my children but especially when they are tiny, places like that are full of people who talk about children constantly.

Now that they are older, I could probably spend 6 months not working very happily! They are much more entertaining - they also create a lot more work than they ever did as babies, and Ive expanded the things I like doing to include lots of crafts, baking etc.

Based on my own mother - who was very much a SAHM - I do wonder what some of them will do when the children are grown though. She has struggled to fill the gap - and I am 35 now. The main thing is, keep your mind active, whatever you do.

i keep an eye on the cleaner. I have high standards!

Am I being an idiot.... What does WOHM stand for?

I work part time (3 days a week). I find being at home and being at work feed my brain, but in different ways.

I am impressed they managed to fit that in one text.

I was a sahm for five years and it was much easier than working. Not a judgement, I always think it is wise to take the easier option if you can. I would love to be a sahm again but it will never happen again. I had moments of boredom but tbh I get bored of my job sometimes. However it was one of the most special times of my life and I was certainly not brain dead at the time .

I didn't find the early days with children at home very stimulating for the brain. I don't think it's any great secret that wiping bottoms and doing the housework can be very routine and make you feel out of touch with your former self, there are endless threads on this. I don't know why people are trying to insist otherwise, when children are babies and toddlers it is just relentless and some find it dull. However, it can also be immensely satisfying in other ways, I loved being all day with my little squidgy baby.

But you don't get acres of undisturbed time to do intellectually stimulating things (you might get to read a few pages of a book whilst breastfeeding), especially with more than one under five and I don't know why everyone is pretending you do.

And, there are plenty of reasons to love being a SAHP, and for it to be valued- it doesn't have to be the same as working out of the home to be valued.

Not a huge amount with one dc, I keep her from hurting herself, provide entertainment, clean her, feed her, help her sleep, love her. In between I tidy up behind us, make sure we have food in the house.

Definitely not harder than any paid job I've had, but then I've always been lucky to have challenging, fairly high powered jobs. Can be infinitely more fun, and frustrating in equal measure...like most things.

I work as I couldn't bear to be at home with dd ALL THE TIME. That makes me a shite mum right? I also love my job and the cash that comes with it. I don't want to be unemployable in 10 years time.
Having said that I am envious of all those SAHM who love it. It is the hardest job in the world and i couldn't do it.

There are times when I would like to go back out to work in the "workplace", purely for the luxury of a guaranteed wage, but I have too many family committments to do it, so I juggle working from home self employed, with looking after my elderly MIL, doing the housework, cooking etc.. and I still manage to get plenty of free time to do what I want to do as well.

I do: the washing, cooking, cleaning, ironing (for myself, DS and my Parents); take DS out to town; go food shopping; go to the park; have driving lessons; study for my BSL level 2; bake/cook with my DS; watch CBeebies; paint/draw/craft with DS; accompany DGGP's to Dr's/hospital appointments; go to playdates/outings; host playdates, and anything else in between.
Oh, also do viewings of my parents house.
So not much really...

BurntToffee it's not just mums who are shit, it's ALL women.

Like me, a 'career girl' who's selfishly 'leaving it too late' by 'trying to have it all'.

I dont think staying at home with one is particularly taxing tbh. Some people do but they arent really used to busyness. I think its good to have best of both worlds though and have work some of the time so you are with all your friends, and dont get bored and isolated.

Think it would only be ok to be a SAHM if you had loads of money otherwise it would drive you crazy with boredom.

Only boring people are bored molly.

As I said I had periods when I was bored as a Sahm and I was not very well at the time so I think that was a factor. However those periods did not last long. Over the Sumer holidays I live getting to live out my sahm fantasies and whilst I agree it is not taxing it was far from boring .

I never never get why this is even supposed to be a debate, as if "mums" are somehow supposed to all do the same things because they all have a child/children they are responsible for.
In real life almost all the mothers i know work p/t, with the exception of two, one who is a sahm, one who works full time.
So what? I don't care if you work, I don't care if you don't.
I don't care if the sahm nect door has a lovely leisurely life eating chocolates and shagging the milkman. Good for her.
Good for any woman (or man) who has a partner who is willing to pay for shit so they can be at home for the kids.

I know the point of the oP was to point out how most sahm/s do loads of work and are not appreciated by their husbands, but it always sparks this debate and its boring.

Burnt toffee is spot on.

I really don't get the hardest job in the world shite. It isn't and to be honest if you find it the hardest job in the world you would probably vibe doing everyone a favour if you went back to work.

I think it is true though valium all the mums come in to my work as they are bored at home. Its because they are all isolated and want to be together and with work I think your lucky as you always have lots of people to talk to (my own opinion)

get kids ready for school
exercise
clean house
volunteer at soup kitchen

have lunch
do errands and shopping
cook dinner
read book
then kids get home between 3.30 and 4

some days i have meetings as i am not strictly a sham i work from home then i don't get anything done oh and i meet my friends every firday for lunch

kids are 6 and 11

and another note when baby was small at least one day a week we would have a outing to the zoo or swimming we also went to a baby group twice a week.

oh if your feeling like you have a few hours spare each day why not try OU i got a diploma whilst my youngest was a baby

the best part about being a sham is getting to go to all their plays and school things went to nativity on Friday i was crying so much could i felt proud and lucky all at the same time.

I find there is masses for me to do at home.

I am never bored, I worked very hard outside the home too.

I hate these threads.

Poppyamex.
Please forgive us for bringing you rather dramatically up to speed with the can of political worms that parenting is ;-)

You must be reeling at the replies if your are Preg with first child.

All I can say is that once you get over the sheer shock and awe, having a. Tiny baby can mean you can do a hell of a lot of things you never had the chance to before, like, walk around you local area in the daytime, for instance, or indeed meet people out of your standard social circle.

Having a five year old and two three year olds however; means you can never go anywhere with them all and you can't ever 'pop' anywhere, and you have to shout a lot and do herding have to do a lot of organising, and a knowledge of damage limitation logistics is very useful.

So quite a varied spectrum really, and not black and white...