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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

to ask... what do SAHMs do all day?

396 replies

PoppyAmex · 11/12/2011 16:39

I'm pregnant with my first child and was recently speaking to a friend about SAHMs and I mentioned I've been reading so many threads here about how some feel their work at home isn't valued by husbands / partners / people in general.

Following up on this conversation, my friend (a mum of 3) sent me the text below and I thought I'd share as I found it amusing. Maybe a good strategy for women complaining about the same problem?

"A man came home from work and found his three children outside, still in their pyjamas, playing in the mud, with empty food boxes and wrappers strewn all around the front yard. The door of his wife's car was open, as was the front door to the house and there was no sign of the dog.

Proceeding into the entry, he found an even bigger mess. A lamp had been knocked over, and the throw rug was wadded against one wall. In the front room the TV was loudly blaring a cartoon channel, and the family room was strewn with toys and various items of clothing. In the kitchen, dishes filled the sink, breakfast food was spilled on the counter, the fridge door was open wide, dog food was spilled on the floor, a broken glass lay under the table, and a small pile of sand was spread by the back door.

He quickly headed up the stairs, stepping over toys and more piles of clothes, looking for his wife. He was worried she might be ill, or that something serious had happened. He was met with a small trickle of water as it made its way out the bathroom door. As he peered inside he found wet towels, scummy soap and more toys strewn over the floor. Miles of toilet paper lay in a heap and toothpaste had been smeared over the mirror and walls.

As he rushed to the bedroom, he found his wife still curled up in the bed in her pyjamas, reading a novel. She looked up at him, smiled, and asked how his day went. He looked at her bewildered and asked, 'What happened here today?' She again smiled and answered, 'You know how every day when you come home from work you ask me what in the world I do all day?' 'Yes,' was his incredulous reply. She answered, 'Well, today I didn't do it.'"

OP posts:
scottishmummy · 16/12/2011 15:47

gods sake you're overstating And over thinking it
no ones crucified frankly everyone muddles on,and inevitabily someone doesn't like how you do it.....well tough titty can't please everyone

chocablock · 16/12/2011 15:47

I feel for women of the noughties, it is very tough, if you stay at home you're crucified, if you go to work you're crucified, mix both and you're crucifed. You can't win

Who cares what anyone else says or thinks - bollocks to them do your own thing. Upthread I said I love being a sahm snd personally I could not leave my little baby with someone and go out to work but it obviously works for some women.

callmemrs · 16/12/2011 15:53

As Scottishmummy says, you're being over dramatic! It's not terrifying and no one gets crucified! Honestly, if you two a longer term view, it's nothing to do with the noughties either- women have always worked, unless they were aristocracy in years gone by or the 1950s construct of 'housewife'. Work is a totally normal facet of life- children aren't harmed by having parents who work, its really really normal, honest!

scottishmummy · 16/12/2011 15:54

most enduring parental skill: fuck what anyone else thinks do what's right for you

and step away from the reams of research and angsty types

Bonsoir · 16/12/2011 15:57

You are being a bit disingenuous, justcallmemrs, about children not being harmed by working mothers in the past. Children in the past weren't expected to to achieve academically in the way modern children are. The modern tension between WOHM and SAHM has a lot to do with the quality of the childhood and education that society as a whole holds parents up to providing.

Bonsoir · 16/12/2011 15:57

callmemrs, sorry!

callmemrs · 16/12/2011 16:02

Good advice there scottishmummy.
Get yourself well qualified and skilled so that you have choices, partner someone with sound values so you can raise your family in a loving and supportive, strong environment and your children are very likely to be happy and successful. And if you want to work- which is totally normal and desirable foe many women and men - organise quality childcare and your children will be fine.

scottishmummy · 16/12/2011 16:19

spot on advice callmemrs
i wholeheartedly agree

allthatglittersisnotgold · 16/12/2011 17:26

Oh dear, you've taken what I said in the wrong light. It doesn't matter anyway I won't be popping any out of the noo noo in this lifetime. So you can all enjoy it for me!! Wink

I don't know why I love MN, it's a nut house!

scottishmummy · 16/12/2011 17:29

what light did you intend to your thats why you're never having kids then?
come on crucified was a bit ott description

callmemrs · 16/12/2011 17:34

Popping any out of your noo noo... Oh dearie me, probably a good job....

scottishmummy · 16/12/2011 17:35

you have a noo noo,does it smell of pot pourri?
rest of us have vagina,and pet names for your fanny is a bit eugh

allthatglittersisnotgold · 16/12/2011 17:38

Yep me and the noo noo plan on being taut and youthful, free of stitches and tears. I will be lunching and online shopping right into my gold plated grave. They will have to pry my champagne glass out of my cold dead (yet manicured) fingers. I will spend my final days sitting on the porch shaking my diamante walking stick at the noisy kinder that dare to venture into my strasse.

allthatglittersisnotgold · 16/12/2011 17:39

good god scottish mummy get a sense of humour!!

scottishmummy · 16/12/2011 17:48

you have a noo noo,your needs are evidently greater than mine

Jajas · 16/12/2011 18:11

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

callmemrs · 16/12/2011 18:19

I manage to quaff champers, have lunch with my girl friends plus I've pushed a couple of kids out of my noo noo vagina AND I work. Do I win ? Lmao

Jajas · 16/12/2011 18:23

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

scottishmummy · 16/12/2011 18:31

nah,I've never given birth had a dash and slash.an earth mother type asked if I was disappointed. certainly not as I gulped champers before taking work call on my phone

Mrswhiskerson · 16/12/2011 18:35

I agree with fabbychic on needing some brainfood cbeebies competitive parents at playgroups made me feel like my brain was going to rot and people who work at home can't say they don't agree because they are working and so are getting brainfood.

That's not to disparage people who do enjoy being home my dh loves it it's just not for me.

Jajas · 16/12/2011 18:58

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

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