....to ask DP to do the night feed while I'm expressing?

[MixedBerries]

DS is nearly 8 weeks old and usually sleeps from 10 until 3 or 4 when he wakes up for a feed. He then goes back to sleep until 7 or 7.30 when we all get up. Due to complications with tongue tie, DS still finds it hard to feed on the boob (it takes a v v v looong time) so his last feed at night and his night feed are EBM in a bottle. This is where the problem lies...

I have to get up in the night at least once to express milk. For the last week I have cut it down to just before I sleep at 10 and then expressing at 3 or 4 while DP is feeding DS by bottle. This was working fine but today DP has said he 'll have to stop doing the night feed as he's too knackered at work.

Now then, I'm a SAHM for now and DP does have a physically demanding job and is self employed. So is it unreasonable to ask him to be up for 30 minutes in the night? He doesn't prepare the bottle. I go downstairs to warm it and bring it up for him then go back down to do my boobs.

Also, what pisses me off most, is that I go to bed at 10 when DS does. DP stays up until about midnight. I pointed out he may be less knackered at work if he went to bed earlier but he said if he does, he doesn't have a life. Like mine is so exciting sat on the sofa with a baby hanging off my boob all day!

If DP does stop doing the night feed, I'll be up doing the feed and then expressing, which will be well over an hour after which I find it impossible to get back to sleep. And I can't nap in the day as DS only naps in 15 minute stints.

AIBU? Any other solutions?

But she's not married to your DH CheeseAndMarmite. As far as we know... Though maintaining a double life would explain the tiredness.

You had an arrangement where you got up in the night in return for your DH coming home to 'cook, clean, prepare my lunch for the following day, and bath the baby.'

The OP hasn't said she has that kind of arrangement at all, but you're still telling her she should be the one to do all the night feeds.

Oh dear that sounds really crap. No real solution then except yes, send him to bed earlier, or somehow move the expressing to a different time of day? Hope it gets better for you

I´m assuming that OP has to express for her own comfort at night?

I would guess more to maintain supply as there is not a great standard of transference of milk.

YANBU, if he was that worried about sleep he'd get to bed two hours earlier with you. Looking after a baby all day is just as tiring as most jobs.

It may be as tiring as most jobs but with being at home with a baby it doesnt matter if you drop off on the settee while they are having a sleep, you wont get the sack if you kip instead of doing the washing up etc. I think sometimes this insistance to breastfeed that people think is so 'commendable' makes like uneccesarily difficult!

Her baby only has 15 minute naps and mine only had short naps too, so not really any to to nap herself Poisson. I don't think it has anything to do with breastfeeding, looking after a baby can just be tiring. I've felt more rested after a day at work than being with a baby all day.

I'd rather be sleep deprived at work rather than at home looking after a baby. My job is not that stressful though, I guess it depends on the job.

It is ludicrous to suggest that OP should switch to formula for the night instead of breastfeeding, just because her OH refuses to go to bed earlier. Everyone makes sacrifices when they first have a baby. OPs OH's attitude that he NEEDS to stay up till 12 midnight, "to have a life", seems like an immature attitude to me and not one of a father of a 8wk old.
FWIW, my DH tended to my 3yr old's nightwakings who only recently started sleeping through. I was seeing to my DD. He knew I coudn't do both and function during the day.

I preferred to do any bottle feeds and expressing during the day, and only BF at night. My supply was better when I was more rested. :)