to ask you not to buy Christmas presents for teachers.

[Crabapple99]

I have seen several threads on the topic, so want to give my point of view and experiences.

1. Many staff are not allowed to accept a gift above a certain value ( £3 in my school) so these big gifts, especially class gifts, leave staff in a very difficult situation, causing all sorts of paperwork and recording, and leaving us open to accusations of favouratitsm from families, and other allegations

1. Many staff don't want gifts, quite often the item is unwanted, even edibles, if the box is big, heavy, and we already have too much to eat over christams. It is also embarrassing to have to accept.

1. Many staff worry about the reason for the gift, especially if it seems some pupils and their parents feel pressure to keep up: I've been given gifts in the past that when I know the family can't afford even a couple of pounds, it makes me feel terrible. I've had gifts in the past which I suspected were stolen, which makes me feel worse.

1. I don't really think there is a problem with Christmas cards, but even then, as someone who could easiluy have 300 pupils on my timetable, even then that can get a bit overwelming, not to say meaningless.

1. A very small token, such as one of those tiney boxes from thornton's with just two chocolates in, is a nice way of acknoledging when a teacher has really gone above and beond, for your child, but even that is unnessesary rreally.

Hope I'm not coming across as a scrooge! I love christams, but dread this aspect of it.

Gosh, you have spoken to every teacher in every school in the world and they have all told you they don't want any Christmas gifts from their students?

That must have taken quite a while!

Or could it be that you cannot actually speak for all teachers everywhere?

I speak for 3/4 of the teachers I have heard express an opinion, which is the staff of 14 separate school,and most of the other quarter didn't have strong feelings. I think once or twice in twrnty years have I heard a teacher GLAD to have recieved a gift, and both times they were very small gifts,

Like I said, I am giving MY experiences

You are ridiculous! AT DCs Primary there are none of your restrictions on gifts, if there were they would be communicated to parents via the PTA.
At secondary, teachers receive few gifts, the odd box of chocolates to a form tutor or the SENCo, or big tin to the staff room, or the termly donation of cakes from a group of anonymous parents.

If you think a Christmas Card can be seen as a bribe......well I really don't want you teaching my kids.

And a Merry Christmas to you!

On one school there was a gift bin behind the coffea counter, every gift ernt straight in, you could apply to take something out if you particularly wanted, and give a donation to school funds, but most were just thrown in the skip at the end of term,. They were not kept bu the staff they were given to.

In another school there was a "gift shelf," ( several cupboards without doors in a corridor in the staff room) don't know what happened to the gufts in the end, the shelf was cleared every year or so, don't know who by, but again staff did not keep gifts.

i hated getting gifts from pupils but I was in secondary which I think is a bit different.

I'm taking in lots of Thorntons bits for nursery teachers and assistants today. I'm never sure what to do but I don't feel I want to do nothing. I don't have a lot to spend but they're on the minimum wage. A little thankyou can't hurt, can it?

Yes, but your thread title is telling everyone on here to not buy presents for 'their' teachers.

You should feel free to tell 'your' parents to not buy you a gift, but to say to everyone everywhere that they should not buy someone a gift is a bit much.

It is none of your business who people buy gifts for.

I didn't say christams fcards were a bribe, just that we recieve far too many. I didn't say gifts were bribes either, just that if a child who happened to have given you a gift later got a good mark for something, other families see it as a bribe

I am speaking for many many teachers at all levels, who dread being given gifts from pupils at christams

I think its quite sad that you see the cards as meaningless. I know my DD loves giving cards to her teachers, in her words "thats the one for Mrs X who helps me learn my letters", "thats a nice card for Mr X cos he loves my paintings" , "Miss Y will like that card". Meaningless to you maybe but not to the children who spent ages writing them out.
But I do agree that gifts for teachers seem to be getting out of control. Every year so many parents seem to try and outdo everyone else in how much they spend. I also agree that a small token for those who have gone above and beyond for your child is lovely but buying a present for the teacher that you have spent all year slagging off is all to do with showing off and not given with the right sentiment.

Dread?

Vague embarassment maybe. No one ever dreaded it in my school.

I've never worked in a school with restrictions. And I like getting gifts. I never expect anything but if I do, I am always very grateful.

I'll send DS with something for his teacher because it is nice for DS to show his appreciation.

YABU and a bit odd.

See I'm a bit worried about this now. DD has never done this before, but last night I had to stop her wrapping up a basket of sea shells for her teacher with the promise that we'd buy her some chocs instead. DD really wants to do it (she really likes her Yr2 teacher, so do I, DD has come on leaps and bounds with this one) but I wouldn't want the gift to be misconstrued.

Hmmm what to do?

I am fairly sure the large voucher for a shop we know she shops at regularly (is quite glam our teacher) did not end up in the gift bin.

Not least because we gave it to her at a nice boozy dinner and she seemed quite happy about it.

She could have been faking I suppose, she must be an awesome actor though.

Perhaps things are different here? You know, how people can be different when they are part of different groups in different places? What with everyone not being the same and all.

I don't think all cards are meanigless. Many are!

I'm also a mother, so see the other side, being askedto donate towards the class gift etc. I know one of my children's teachers socially, and I know she was very upset to hear that this was happeneing.

When I taught I quite liked the chocs.

I agree any pressure for families to give gifts they can't afford, or heavens, have to steal is awful. But my 6 yr old dd is looking forward to saying thank you to her teacher with a small gift.

Yr description of the 'gift shelf & cupboard' makes me feel really depressed.

LtEve But why stop your DD giving her teacher the seashells? It is what she has chosen and what she thinks her teacher will like. How lovely of your DD!

Crabapple But the same could be said for cards from all the neighbours on your street yet people still enjoy sending them and many people still enjoy recieving them.

I'm a teacher. I have never, ever heard of any of the views you express. This is a ridiculous thread.

Just to balance the argument, I have worked in 4 primaries and a secondary school and have NEVER heard a teacher say they don't want gifts.

And I loved getting cards written by the children.

Morloth, in my school she would have had to hand it over and apply to get it back, but to be honest, applying to get back a voucher would be seen as quite naff, really if you know hersocially, that is obvioulsy different.

I've had a couple of little things this year - a new red pen was my favourite! I am quite pleased if the gift is small and appropriate, but anything else is awkward and upsetting. This is my experiance, like I said

I like getting Christmas gifts from pupils if they are inexpensive and meaningful.
I've been given plants, smelly candles, chocolates, wind chimes and interesting stones with holes in. I had some lovely iced gingerbread and a pot of jam last year. Seashells sound right up my street too.
I get a lot of cards, from past and present pupils and I put them up on strings around the house instead of decorations.
If there is the occasional present I can't use for whatever reason, I either donate it to a charity shop in a different city, or sometimes I've given it to a raffle at a different school if it was suitably anonymous.
So thank you to all those children who have ever given me a present, and rest assured I have valued the giving even if I didn't keep the gift.

For a teacher, you spell very strangely OP.
What do you teach?

Not in our school. We are in a different country.

So once again, how could you possibly speak for all teachers everywhere when you have no idea of the dynamics/rules etc?

Littlefish & shrinking what about cards though? We can't afford to buy a present for all the teachers that my DD loves so the one thing she can do (and enjoys doing) is writing cards for them. She spends ages writing them out her concentration isn't great and I like to think that the teachers aprreciate the effort and feeling behind sending them.
However don't talk to me about cards being sent by 18month olds at nursery but written by their parents. To me that is ridiculous.

Crabapple, your school sounds very unusual. Most schools are not like this and have very grateful teachers. If you don't want to send a gift, don't but don't assume everyone feels the way you do.