to ask you not to buy Christmas presents for teachers.

[Crabapple99]

I have seen several threads on the topic, so want to give my point of view and experiences.

1. Many staff are not allowed to accept a gift above a certain value ( £3 in my school) so these big gifts, especially class gifts, leave staff in a very difficult situation, causing all sorts of paperwork and recording, and leaving us open to accusations of favouratitsm from families, and other allegations

1. Many staff don't want gifts, quite often the item is unwanted, even edibles, if the box is big, heavy, and we already have too much to eat over christams. It is also embarrassing to have to accept.

1. Many staff worry about the reason for the gift, especially if it seems some pupils and their parents feel pressure to keep up: I've been given gifts in the past that when I know the family can't afford even a couple of pounds, it makes me feel terrible. I've had gifts in the past which I suspected were stolen, which makes me feel worse.

1. I don't really think there is a problem with Christmas cards, but even then, as someone who could easiluy have 300 pupils on my timetable, even then that can get a bit overwelming, not to say meaningless.

1. A very small token, such as one of those tiney boxes from thornton's with just two chocolates in, is a nice way of acknoledging when a teacher has really gone above and beond, for your child, but even that is unnessesary rreally.

Hope I'm not coming across as a scrooge! I love christams, but dread this aspect of it.

Could that be because everyone has a different opinion NinkyNonker?

I have no issue with the OP saying that she doesn't like getting presents or that her colleagues and people she has spoken to about it feel the same way.

However, I am wondering why she thinks it is appropriate to then apply to everyone who reads Mumsnet.

There isn't any 'right' way, nor is there any 'wrong' way. You can't win because it isn't a competition.

My DH is also a primary teacher and appreciates every card and gift, although hates for anyone to feel obliged. His favourite gifts are highlighter pens, markers and book tokens. He keeps the cards too in a folder with a class photo.

The best present he ever received though was a card and photo from the mother of a boy with autism who he really helped - he made him enjoy school. it said 'Thank you for inspiring him and giving us as a family hope. You have changed his life and we are thankful every day that you're in his life'. We both sat and cried. Genuine thanks or notes about happy memories/funny moments from less well off students means more to him than hampers or wine

Do you teach in the UK, crabapple? Because I guess cultural differences may explain the oddness.

If you do, then you are being more than a bit unreasonable, and a bit bonkers too.

Ahhhhhh - have just twigged that you were the nutso 'qualified pathologust' that claimed a few weeks ago that a Reception child should not be off school for a week with a virus, and that you could 'guarantee this child will have a serious attendance problem by secondary school'.

Whilst YANBU about parents trying to outdo each other, and buying big gifts for their teacher which puts pressure on other parents who cannot afford it, YABVU about children not giving a small gift to the staff that teach and help them at school. My dd 4.5 (SN) has just started foundation at a MS and they have been fantastic wither her, her TA is lovely and dd really has a good relationship with her, so she has made the two teachers and her TA in foundation a card each and will ice some little cookies for each of them, and some choccies for the rest of the staff in foundation. Your attitude is really sad, and its what makes the world a dim place to live in at times.

Whilst I was a community worker at a Day Centre run by the LA, where I worked with adults with LD, the parents would give the staff as a collective big tins of choccies/sweets at Christmas, which we really appreciated. Our line manager would keep the tins and divide all sweets in a big bag for each of the staff.

Its really sad to think that the little tokens that my dd has made an effort with might be not appreciated by some teachers, I am pretty sure that the staff that she gives them to will like them though.

It's fairly rare to get presents ime as a secondary school teacher, but love it when I do! The cards I put up in my classroom and then at home when we break up, the chocolate I eat and I really enjoy all the smiles and 'merry Christmas, miss!'
When I left on maternity leave, one of my tutor group gave me a handmade mobile, which was stunningly good. One of my previous pupils bought me flowers and a teddy for the baby. My year 11 two years ago made me a big thankyou card that made me cry, it was so lovely.
I love teaching!!

I spell strangkly because I'm dislexic, but I don't spell like this in schoolm, where I am wrtiting proffesional and triple check everythimng, rather than at home wher I am just relaxing andtyping for fun

But you said you were a 'qualified pathologust' the other week? (I am never going to get bored of saying that ). But now you work in a school?

I'm not surprised that some schools have a 'no gift' or 'gifts to be raffled out' policy - the same is true in a lot of corporate environments, where you're not allowed to accept gifts from suppliers, for example. I'm actually surprised that not more schools have these policies. (Talking about gifts, not cards)

The problem with donating these gifts is that at least in the case of food it's not that straightforward as you would assume, as there's risks/liability problems connected with that.

Earlier this week crabapple was posting that squash was better than water to hydrate children, so I'm reading this with a large dose of electrolyte solution myself...

I love teacher presents, and my children like giving their teachers presents.

Long live teacher presents!

The most surprising thing about the small and insignificant present I got for DD's secondary school teacher last year was the Thank You letter I received at the beginning of the next term. It was lovely. I wasn't expecting a thank you and teachers are busy enough in my opinion. I haven't always given teachers presents, but DD's teacher is really fab and always goes the extra mile for her tutor group. I will be giving a small present again this year. I would never give anything huge, because how would she carry it all to the car if everyone did that? If she chooses to donate it to charity, or pass it on to someone else as a present, that is fine by me.

poor ole secndary teechers don't get mutch!

Can't help wondering if the OP is in fact a disgruntled parent, rather than a genuine teacher, who's intent on shit-stirring...

melika

crab you cannot speak for every teacher tbh, not all of them as we have seen here, feel the way you do, though I am sure that many do.

Yay slave

"Can't help wondering if the OP is in fact a disgruntled parent, rather than a genuine teacher,"

...or maybe a love locked out teacher that never gets a present.

I have a couple of teacher friends, and while they think the thought is lovely, they often get gifts that they can't use/haven't got room for etc.

For instance DD had a lovely teacher who was anorexic so edible gifts were completely wasted on her. She doesn't drink, can't use perfumed toiletries and has loads of mugs. Giving a teacher a large bouquet of flowers on the last day of summer term may be a waste if the teacher is going on holiday the following day.

Let's be honest, who on here hasn't had a gift of toiletries, hideous jewellery, a scratchy scarf etc for Christmas or birthday that they haven't really wanted. MIL always buys me loads of body lotion and fruit scented toiletries that I hate the smell of so I always donate them to tombolas.

I wouldn't be surprised if school's do have restrictions on gifts. We have to declare every box of chocolates we get (local authority).

No, no, she is a 'qualified pathologust', innit.

I have got my childrens teachers a box of milk tray and they made cards. I thikn the choclates they get (and last year it was a small mountain) get shared amongst the staff rather than al taken home by the teacher as they have alot of teaching assistants etc as well.

I love getting presents and I adore wJen pupils write really lovely cards. I have kept mine as the pupils all wrote a little bit on them which was lovely. When I left my last school one of the kids (10 years old) went and bought a card for all the class to sign. Such a lovely sweet thought and I remember them all really fondly!

The OP's credentials aside, I must say that I never gave my DC's teachers more than a Terry's chocolate orange. And to be fair to them, they always acted really surprised and grateful, and the DCs often received little thank you notes, which I thought was probably more hassle for them than the gift was really worth actually.

The DCs don't bother with presents at all in secondary because it's not cool. Although my DD will probably do a few jokey gifts for favourite teachers this year because it's her last.

I'm not a teacher, but a parent how 'doesn't get' christmas presents for parents and generic meaningless christmas cards.

and as someone who had a boy in class in secondary with a ridiculous attendance record and bad grade misteriously getting good a levels after his (rich) parents gave the school a grand piano, I am in with the 'bribe' argument as well.

Really? A cupboard and a bin for presents? I don't think so. Unless you're a character in Matilda?