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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think some women don't like other women because they are pretty?

400 replies

RainbowSheep · 07/12/2011 20:48

I really struggled with this at school, girls didn't like me much and I could never work out why, looking back it is because I was very pretty (I'm not syaing I'm better than anyone else or the most beautiful woman in the world btw). I did have some very good girlfriends but was never accepted into groups of girls. I found this a lot throughout my life and it used to really get me down.

I have noticed it reared it's head at the school gates again, it has taken me a good few years to be accepted by the other mums, being shy doesn't help either.

AIBU to think this is something that often women (obvioulsy not all women!) don't like other women who they think are pretty??

OP posts:
MenopausalHaze · 07/12/2011 21:31

I think you are misreading me plumpdog but I'm too busy giving myself a lard face pack to start over and explain myself!

Original poster
RainbowSheep · 07/12/2011 21:32

OriginalChristmasPoster - I think it can make other people feel a bit insecure sometimes. I've got a degree in politics and speak three languages. I don't tell people this unless it comes up.

OP posts:
FreudianSlipper · 07/12/2011 21:33

op what people are picking up on is you being wrapped up in yourself

stop taking your looks or how you think you look to others so serioulsy, they are not likely to give it more than a fleeting thought

ChocolateIsAFoodGroup · 07/12/2011 21:34

If you are happy with how you are, and what you are, then I don't think it's necessary to perceive other people as a threat.

Also, I like the concept of 'enough' - I think I'm pretty (enough), nice (enough) and funny (enough - actually, scrap that last one; I'm bloody hysterical Grin).

One of my best friends is so gorgeous I have to restrain myself from stroking her hair (peculiar? moi?) - I'm not actually jealous/envious of her, though - I think I'm alright as I am, and am quite happy to admire her beauty from afarGrin.

PlumpDogPillionaire · 07/12/2011 21:34

As a woman doggedly troughing wine and cheese toasties so as to improve my social chances, and not frighten the horses with my erstwhile bright eyes and peachy complexion, I understand, perfectly, Menopausal Wine

Original poster
RainbowSheep · 07/12/2011 21:35

I just want to add when people get to know me they like me (I think!) what I guess I'm getting at is it's easy to get judged on your looks alone & being good looking can be a real mixed blessing

OP posts:
TerraNotSoFirma · 07/12/2011 21:35

One of my now best friends, HATED me on sight. I could tell she was off with me when I met her but just thought that is the way she was IYSWIM.

I continued to be pleasant to her as I didn't think her attitude was personal against me, A few months later she warmed to me and on a drunken night out confessed that he HATED me when she met me, ''You're pretty, thin but have big boobs, have great hair and make-up and nice clothes AND you can bloody sing''
Those were her actual reasons for hating someone and being quite mean to an 18 year old new girl at work, In her defence she was only about 23.

So YANBU some women are like that.

What I find distasteful is when an obviously attractive person goes on about how ugly/fat they are.

LEttletownofBOFlehem · 07/12/2011 21:36

Smellsofreindeersick- I skimmed over your post and read it as you wished you didn't smell of dick. I can imagine that would be fairly off-putting to competitive types Xmas Grin

Why are all these beautiful posters the mysterious type with no profiles?

PlumpDogPillionaire · 07/12/2011 21:36

You gotta make more effort, Rainbow, this is the thing!

OriginalChristmasPoster · 07/12/2011 21:36

Rainbow

Are you Harriet Harman? Grin

MenopausalHaze · 07/12/2011 21:36

Plump I just had to make a sudden death choice between cheese and vodka chocolates stolen from the Christmas stash. The chocolate won.

Wine
nativitywreck · 07/12/2011 21:37

Nah OP. All my best friends are gorgeous. As am I.

nativitywreck · 07/12/2011 21:38

Maybe it's your personality?

BaublesandCuntingCarolSingers · 07/12/2011 21:38

Hmmm.

Personally, I like pretty women. All of my closest female friends are attractive girls in one way or another but then they are lovely, good people so that makes them even more attractive to me.

I get ignored at the school on most days. Never thought it could be down to my fap-worthy good-looks and not down to me being a bastard. Xmas Wink

JamieComeHome · 07/12/2011 21:39

No profile picks. You would all turn into a nest of vipers as soon as catch a look at my fabulous hair

Original poster
RainbowSheep · 07/12/2011 21:39

I am definately going to make more effort and get over my shyness, this thread has made me realise (I guess I already knew it in a way) that women prob think I'm really aloof.

OP posts:
Sixyearoldwoes · 07/12/2011 21:39

I didn't dislike a pretty girl at college because she was pretty. I disliked her because she would drop into conversation just who fancied her and which film star she had been compared to that week.

Feminine · 07/12/2011 21:40

I might post a picture one day...I will have to make sure I am smiling though Grin

I must remember not to pose as well.

OriginalChristmasPoster · 07/12/2011 21:40

How do you know if you're pretty? Do people tell you, or do you just know?

I don't mean the op in particular, just generally....

smellsofreindeersick · 07/12/2011 21:40

Oh lebof I am very nearly speechless

I don't think smelling of dick would make me any more attractive, or would it? Do Clarins do some kind of miracle male member cream?

hardboiledpossum · 07/12/2011 21:40

I think I'm fairly attractive and I have a close group of girlfriends who I've known since school. Lots of my friends are stunning and are also popular. I do think some women can be jealous but I'd imagine your lack of close friends is down to your shyness rather than your good looks.

LEttletownofBOFlehem · 07/12/2011 21:41

I have a degree and speak four languages. Five, if you count teaching myself to swear in Hungarian after the nasty nanny thread the other week. I am going to shoehorn a bit of Slavic abuse into every conversation from now on, just to see if it makes a difference.

olgaga · 07/12/2011 21:41

thepeoplesprincess oh yeah I get you, there are some shortarses who are also slim and beautiful. I was one too! It gets a bit tougher as you get older.

Original poster
RainbowSheep · 07/12/2011 21:41

Hmm, Harriet Harman you say? Never heard of the woman... (scampers off to name change, I've been outed!!)

OP posts:
Get0rf · 07/12/2011 21:41

I think I am quite drawn to beautiful women - some people you meet can take your breath away because they look so perfect. I do envy them to a certain extent - I would love to be pretty, I think most people of average or below-average looks have thought that at some point in their life.

People do make snap judgements about others, whether that is based on what they look like, or how they are behaving. Perhaps OP people think you are reserved and unapproachable, perhaps they are not judging you on your looks per se.

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