To think some women don't like other women because they are pretty?

[RainbowSheep]

I really struggled with this at school, girls didn't like me much and I could never work out why, looking back it is because I was very pretty (I'm not syaing I'm better than anyone else or the most beautiful woman in the world btw). I did have some very good girlfriends but was never accepted into groups of girls. I found this a lot throughout my life and it used to really get me down.

I have noticed it reared it's head at the school gates again, it has taken me a good few years to be accepted by the other mums, being shy doesn't help either.

AIBU to think this is something that often women (obvioulsy not all women!) don't like other women who they think are pretty??

My friends definition of pretty is ...get dressed nicely , hair done , make up on , hygienic and groomed ,nice teeth ....if people tell you your good looking then ,your pretty .

If you ...look like you've been dragged through a hedge backwards (hair), have old clothes on , and no make up ....when you turn up at the makeup counter and they compliment your flawless skin and offer to sell you the "teenage" makeup and advice you to start moisturizing whilst your still in your teens (being 35) then your beautiful .

My definition of being good looking ....if you've got your own hair and teeth and can still see your feet when you look down ( except when your pg)

Oh yeah, some people are just jealous wankers.

The day I stop getting the bitchy comments is the day I know I've lost it, frankly. Keep em coming.

Tbh, I am sometimes intimidated by people who are good looking, but I don't dislike them. It's more because I think they won't want to bother with me. I know this is due to my own insecurities though.

I am the same. I assume really good looking women will look down on me and so I would rarely talk to them first. And you being shy would just compound that impression - sorry.

YANBU. My friend is very, very attractive. A head-turner of a girl. She has experienced bitchiness and bullying from her school days all the way up to and during adulthood. She is a very nice, reasonable sort of person. Not anything very obvious to dislike about her. I can only assume it's because she's tall and slim with a lovely face.

Add message | Report | Message poster Esta3GG Wed 07-Dec-11 22:12:58
if they're shallow enough to hate you because of your looks you are better off without them

And if you are shallow enough to believe people hate you solely because of your looks then they are better off without you.

It's so simple.
Thinking you are pretty and lovely is fine.
Thinking that the only reason people don't connect with you is because they are jealousy of your pretty face is beyond silly.
There are so many other traits that make people incredibly unappealing. Vanity for starters.
Add message | Report | Message poster daveywarbeck Wed 07-Dec-11 22:13:30

Sums it up perfectly

Yabu - an over inflated ego is ugly

ok...was this bumped for the obvious reason?

I like other women and in the main, most women like me

The few women who have hated me have all been wives of men I work with. Why they think I would want anything to do with those it husbands I do not know, but the mere fact that I share office space with them seems to be an issue (have had this in a few workplaces - I am the only senior woman at my work).

That fucks me off a bit. It's insulting, iyswim. I mean ffs, not only would I not shit on my own doorstep, WHY would I be interested in your husband just because I work with him?! Give me some credit!

With their husbands not 'those it'

Oh and I'm happily married with kids myself! Gah!

(sorry stealth, didn't bump it but did respond. Will climb down off hobby horse now )

I find if your pretty and have a nice personality, really social etc more people like you tbh. I think it is much more difficult for shy people of different sexes to make friends.

Being pretty generally makes folk want to talk to you so I suspect it's your shyness that causes the problem and makes you seem unfriendly. Do you smile and say hello to everyone at least?

It's worth making the effort to chat about the weather and the kids at least and pretty much everyone is happy to chat on that level at the school gates.

Ha, I read this as a piss take of that other article, but it seems to be serious. Life is so difficult for those pretty women.

I have known peopel who are very shy but lovely, but others have misinterpreted their shyness as arrogance or aloofness. So some people may think you are just very unfriendly rather than shy.

In terms of bitchiness about women who are pretty - ime it is not ordinary looking women like me who tend to be like this. It is women who are pretty, but not as much as they would like to be and dolled up, who are more likely to be like this. Are you ignorin or discounting more ordinary looking women?

I don't dislike anyone because of how they look. That would just be stupid. I dislike people who are unfriendly. If you;re nice to me, I'll be nice to you. simples.

My sister in law is 12 years younger than me, tall, slim, beautiful. However, she has the most gorgeous warm, loving, giving personality and zero vanity. That's what makes her lovely and the reason I adore her. She's also quite shy and not overly confident in herself.

If she were vain, miserable, mardy, malicious, greedy, selfish, then I would probably dislike her, but I would dislike her for these reasons, not because of the way she looks.

It's the beauty inside that attracts people.

I generally find that attractive people are much more popular. I believe that it's something that comes through in the person's personality that makes people dislike them.

i like pretty women, what i don't like is vain wag wanna be types who dress in a certain way to get attention that is not appropriate for the occasion and also just go on about how they look all the frigging time

women who you can actively starts pouting when a man comes along and starts tossing her hair a laughing for no reason

i find very very pretty women don't often have very many female friends but i have found its due to their horrible personality thinking they don't have to be nice because they are pretty and also find grate joy in flirting with other peoples boyfriends and husbands

This is an old thread - just for those giving advice to the OP.

I can't see what you look like, but you don't sound very attractive to me. Are you witty? clever? Always know where to find gin in hard times? Do you love books? Do you have a fabric stash that could cover Belgium? Can you strip down an engine? Or Randomly make me laugh about stuff I know nothing about? Are you thoughtful? Kind?

Because these things are all more important to me than how you look.

I think sometimes women don't like other women because they are pretty.

Possibly they might perceive the "pretty" one to be arrogant or vain, or possibly they see her a a potential man snatcher, or possibly they are just plain jealous, or possibly they may dislike her for another reason altogether.

IME women don't need much of an excuse not to like another woman!

My youngest sister is gorgeous and she has a big gang of female friends, gets on well with women generally and has never had bitchy comments. She is sweet natured and a tiny bit ditzy.

A very good friend is also gorgeous and gets a fair bit of jealousy/dislike. She is confident, wears tiny clothes (and I would too if I had her body!) and says things like 'I know he's only talking to me because I'm hot'. I think people (not just women) get pissed off at those who seem PROUD of their beauty but not just beauty alone.

I've just watched the Samanta Brick interview and saw this post and I have to say that in my experience, I have found it to be the case that women dislike women they perceive to be attractive. Between the ages of 15-20 I was very overweight, at 5'3" tall and around 15 stone. I had lots of female friends and was very outgoing and confident despite my weight. Before having my first daughter, I lost a lot of weight and went down to a size 8-10 and I have managed to keep the weight off. I moved areas and since moving to a different county, I haven't managed to make any female friends. I am much less confident than I was when I was big, and I certainly do not have a high opinion of myself but no matter what I've tried, I haven't been able to make any friends. I have made an effort to be outgoing and try and make friends, but women just aren't interested.