To think some women don't like other women because they are pretty?

[RainbowSheep]

I really struggled with this at school, girls didn't like me much and I could never work out why, looking back it is because I was very pretty (I'm not syaing I'm better than anyone else or the most beautiful woman in the world btw). I did have some very good girlfriends but was never accepted into groups of girls. I found this a lot throughout my life and it used to really get me down.

I have noticed it reared it's head at the school gates again, it has taken me a good few years to be accepted by the other mums, being shy doesn't help either.

AIBU to think this is something that often women (obvioulsy not all women!) don't like other women who they think are pretty??

Yep. Me too. Other women don't like me either; they're just jealous because I'm gawjus and also super super intelligent.

mychild are you aiming that at me?

No, the OP. Who are you?

i honestly couldn't rate my level of prettiness.
as a teenager i was approached by a modeling agency scout.
the strongest relationships in my life have been with women. i am very lucky to have the friends i have. i don't think it's got anything to do with how i look.

mychild I just responded to an earlier post of yours...

that is why I asked.

feminine Sorry, I didn't see your earlier post. Libran's are supposedly the most attractive sign in the zodiac!

I would say the exact opposite. I think the better looking you are the more friends you have. Ugly women (or men) are not accepted as much by their own sex or opposite sex.

Pretty people are often associated with other positive aspects such as intelligence, humour etc. Ugly people are often seen as boring and thick.

Just the way it is.

.I have known a couple of models, and it is quite true what people say - that 'model pretty' isn't always the same thing as 'pretty pretty'. My friend was a model, but she got her start because she was such a gawky, clumsy, and 'unattractive' teenager that her parents actually sent her to charm school to "help" her! It was through a connection there that she became a model. She is beautiful - but very unique looking and not the sort who people whisper about in the schoolyard, if you see what I mean! She also has a lovely attitude and a sense of humour and never talks about herself as good-looking.

As for being approached by modeling scouts as a teenager...this happened to me (I am not particularly attractive and certainly not in any way suitable for modleling!) and to a number of people I knew at university. It was a scam. I'm sure its still goes on...they would approach young people and get them to come in for test shots and advice. Ka-ching! It is like vanity publishing.

Obviously not everyone judges on looks, and there are many reasons someone might not like you that aren't looks-related, but I would say there are definitely some people who react very weirdly towards you if they think you're good-looking.

I'm no Cindy Crawford, but most people seem to think I'm pretty, I get a lot of compliments from nice people, which is nice, but here are some of the weird comments I've had:

"Wow, it's so great that you're friends with those girls, because women who look like you normally only hang out with other good-looking people. Yeah, I thought you'd be a real bitch and only want to speak to other people who are good-looking but you're actually nice." (Just so bizarre, I couldn't even respond...)

"Life must be so easy for you, cause you're beautiful." (Yeah, it was super-useful when my mum had terminal cancer, then died, then I got divorced)

From a man: "You know, you're really sexy and loads of people will want to fuck you, but no-one will ever love you." (Cheers, friend's brother who I only just met. No one will ever love you, because you're a wanker!)

And most people who are pretty, but nice, and who have had weird reactions because of their looks, don't talk about it because - as the OP has found - there's no way to bring this subject up without people thinking you're vain, arrogant, up your own arse, or whatever.

And besides, mean, judgemental people will always find superficial reasons to make mean, judgemental assumptions about others, so hey ho.

i think its personality and confidence that makes people like you, when i was at school i was not popular but not un popular, at out of school activities i was usually popular but i think thats because i felt confident there... i went through a stage with an ex who knocked my confidence and i had very little in the way of friends, got rid of him gained abit of confidence and im rather popular again...

also, why does it seem that the words pretty or attractive so often just mean "skinny" and/or "groomed" (a word which makes me laugh!)

natural, unfussy beauty rarely results in the behaviour described by the OP.

my mom was GORGEOUS as a younger woman. she wore no makeup in my lifetime. she dressed for comfort. she's never had a manicure in her life. But really - she was like a film star. now i see pictures of women who are allegedly so good-looking, and they're average nice-looking women who have taken a bit too much time over themselves.

well. just my opinion. it is of course all meaningless and subjective.

I actually think being pretty ensures you the easiest ride of all.

'Pretty' is unthreatening. It appeals to people in an aesthetic sense. It's approachable.

This is why I struggle to have too much sympathy for you, OP, assuming you genuinely are just 'pretty' - though there's certainly no reason to doubt you.

Beautiful, on the other hand, genuinely, jaw-droppingly, traffic-stoppingly beautiful is a much rarer thing; and arguably more likely to cause a rift in potential friendships (though I still maintain I've never seen it; maybe because I was always just 'pretty'; not beautiful).

Pretty girls and women are a dime a dozen. There's loads on this very thread.

Beautiful women. Much, much rarer.

So on this basis, I'd just say 'join the queue'. And try to chill out a bit - you're not that special.

IMO the girl-next door types fair the best...

Seen it many times, so I agree with you slinking

truly beautiful women do bring out the its true!

I stay away from the 'beautiful people' because they make me feel inferior. By 'beautiful people' I mean those who care too much about their appearance and brush their hair.

I find that I start to care too much about the way that I look when I'm around them. I wear make up, nice clothes for me, but if I know I'm going to be around women that make more of an effort I fret about my fugliness.

Truly beautiful/pretty women light up the room and make people feel at ease. I don't avoid those types. I'm like a moth to a lightbulb.

Forehead : "What about women who are both gorgeous and intelligent.?"
The answer ? They have to die. Come the Revolution, they have to die.
Anyone beautiful, intelligent, nice AND a good ......cook/friend/tapestry maker ?
I'm sorry , but they have to go. We have to rid the earth of the likes of that sort.

I have been racking my brains to see if i can think of any examples of this and I have decided that I can't. If a pretty woman is otherwise perfectly normal and approachable she'll be fine. It's a very odd assumption to make IMO.

Think we should all start ignoring and bitching about Feminine

Will prove the OP correct

Only kidding

I think, in general, that people that are happy within themselves and confident are not going to have a problem with people that are more pretty, more clever etc than them but those who are less 'secure' and confident will do.

You do often find that as well as the 'different' or 'fat' or 'poor' kids being bullied there are often those who are 'good-looking', 'affluent' or 'brainy'.

People who are negative types will always pick at something they don't like about people and shy and 'sensitive' (because they are bothered what others think) people will feel it more harshly & not bounce back or deal with it so easily, IMO.

There's a quote from The Social Network that I really like.

A girl is saying to a boy:

You're going to spend your life thinking that girls don't like you because you're a nerd. It's not true. Girls won't like you because you're an asshole.

i think you are right. one of my friends is truly, jaw-droppingly beautiful and i have heard some very bitchy and baseless comments about her from other school mums.

Also her dd is extremely beautiful and some mums are even mean about that.

I suppose that in a way it works out because the mean people declare their character flaw straight up so the pretty person can be confident that anyone who does talk to them is a nice person!

Yes, of course some people are envious of those who have desirable qualities, attributes or lifestyles that they will never attain.

It's not worth bothering about people who are envious. Look for friends who have comparable attributes to your own!

Hahahahahahaha!
Brilliant!

I have a friend, she is a lovely girl and very popular. This thread made me think of her. She is so at ease with herself and chilled out and friendly that the way she attracts people to her is amazing. When we would walk down the street when in our twenties, people would just look at her, have seen so many people turn and stare, actually change direction and follow her when they think she's not looking. Stunnning body and own funky style, usually minimal make up, short dyed spiky hair, dock marten boots and ripped shorts so not a 'pretty, groomed' girl. She just had 'something'.

Well I fancy ALL of you and I'm a leggy stunner.