To think some women don't like other women because they are pretty?

[RainbowSheep]

I really struggled with this at school, girls didn't like me much and I could never work out why, looking back it is because I was very pretty (I'm not syaing I'm better than anyone else or the most beautiful woman in the world btw). I did have some very good girlfriends but was never accepted into groups of girls. I found this a lot throughout my life and it used to really get me down.

I have noticed it reared it's head at the school gates again, it has taken me a good few years to be accepted by the other mums, being shy doesn't help either.

AIBU to think this is something that often women (obvioulsy not all women!) don't like other women who they think are pretty??

Feminine, you will always be gorgeous

I remember my fuckwit of an ex talking about fading looks when I was the grand old age of twenty four

He would always go on about how the models in magazines used to look older than him and now he preferred younger women because of their higher tits nicer skin. When I tried to tell him that his comments were hurtful he would argue that it's okay for women because they can always have surgery and it is MUCH harder on men losing their physical fitness as time goes on. Twat.

Thank you winter :)

Am I the only one hovering over the nicknames of those who claim to be pretty, hoping for profile pics?

Mind you even then, there are far too many weirdos on the internet who 'steal' other people's photos and claim to be them!

Why is it vain or arrogant to know you're good looking? False modesty is equally annoying surely?

YANBU

i think women who go around thinking they are very pretty are usually a bit of a pain in the arse tbh.

I think the shy bit is more to the point, its absurd to be shy as an adult, sorry you probably appear stuck up..

try to chat to someone at the school gates, anyone, and make your first comments a joke against yourself, smile and say 'morning' unless these women are mental then you will build bridges. and make friends.

YANBU. whats wrong with knowing if you're pretty? after all if everyone tells you you are you would believe them wouldn't you? Why are women expected to show this fake modesty all the time and put themselves down?

Women are happy to admit they're intelligent, whats the difference?

Its all a bit childish.

I like the last part of your post thebody

Its how I operate

But of course its normal to be shy as an adult the pretty/shy combo is a difficult one to overcome.

I am lucky because I am a bit of a clown IRL though! :)

Slightly off topic but related: I'm wondering why some of the pretty women on here seem to be having such a hard time expressing that they're pretty. Seems there's some social stigma attached to having a realistic view of oneself - even though it is statistically speaking highly improbable that a person should have no desirable traits at all and that some of us should have a great big basket full.

As for myself: no, I'm not pretty. I can perhaps manage "attractive" with a little work, but pretty is definitely out. I am very smart, though. That's also a thing I used to think was better left unspoken - until one of my friends at uni told me she was about ready to murder me. My crime: joining in with the general moaning about how hard I worked for my finals - when I'd invested about two hours per module to revise and everyone else had been buried in books for two weeks plus.

It wasn't the thought that my life was easy that got to her but the fact that I nevertheless felt entitled to pretend I was struggling as much as everyone else. I suppose the "pretty" equivalent of this would be fishing for compliments.

I don't think that is absurd to be shy as an adult, pretty or not. People can develop coping skills and sometimes when there is some learning difficulty / neurological difference in place they do it in spite of such disadvantages.

Some people don't. But they may be very kind and understanding. They may be excellent parents who don't give a fuck what people think of them on the school run but would go out of their way to make peoples lives better. Some people have no such difficulties and go out of their way to be horrible and unhelpful. I tend to pity them.

Having thought about it, it took weeks for anyone in the school playground to smile back at me, and even now only two ever speak to me.
I just assumed it was because they knew I was mad.

Now I am beginning to think it is cos I's so FIT!

Of Course. It all makes sense.

nativity at least you know now...

You can work it!

Nobody likes me. I must be a knockout!

Shyness doesn't come across well in adults (sadly for them) - it seems to come across as offensive. I've misjudged people who were shy before and later found out they were ok people but just too shy to engage.

Also I've never in my life fitted into female cliques but I couldn't care less tbh. I have friends but have never been part of a group.

see shyness usually comes across as being stuck up BUT this can be overcome with a smile and a quick 'morning'.

shy people can smile...dont even have to speak.

I understand that thebody

I think,though, that painfully shy people will have a problem with even doing just that. Unfortunately...

You'd think so thebody, but if you were ever to see me put on a rictus grin smile you would be reminded of a mad scientist from a horror movie I stopped dancing at a high level when I was a teenager because I just couldn't do it. I was technically good but don't have that "performing" talent and it extends to every area of life. Many people don't.

I was amazed watching DS' school show yesterday at the natural smiles of the staff helping the children. They were really contagious and for once I didn't mind smiling along because I was in the audience and not being watched by anyone.

I do see your point about looking stand-offish though. It's a valid one.

True, sargesaweyes I think if someone asked me IRL I would tell them not to worry.

I think, (when someone posts something) I tend to think they are reaching out and need a bit of extra help/advice/ and a few stories.

However OP has not been seen a long time

thebody, I am shy, and I do smile at people and say good morning. That doesn't change the fact that I am introverted and will never be the life and soul, or that it takes a lot of effort for me to engage with strangers. I do it, though, and the OP should too. Just making that first move and being genuinely interested in other people, instead of focusing on herself, will make a huge difference.

Beautiful people do get more opportunities in life, no doubt.

Beaverfever:
"I am as straight as a laser, but even I appreciate a good looking / pretty woman.

I have disliked pretty women when they are arrogant or rude, and the same with not so pretty women.

I also like looking at naturally attractive women to try and gauge what it is about them that makes them noticible attractive as its not always the same. Sometimes it can be as simple as good posture or well fitting clothes and nicely applied make up. I then take a mental note and try it for myself."

Same here. LOVE looking at beautiful woemn. Kelly Brook, Beyonce, Rosie Huntington-Whiteley. There are 3 stunners in my playground. 2 of them are models married to popstars. I can't take my eyes of them. So naturally beautiful. And i chat to them. They are both soooooo nice.
And there's another beauty in my playground. understated. she has no idea that I can't keep my eyes of her.

Where is this hatred and jealousy of which you speak? Not in my mind, believe you me.