Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think some women don't like other women because they are pretty?

400 replies

RainbowSheep · 07/12/2011 20:48

I really struggled with this at school, girls didn't like me much and I could never work out why, looking back it is because I was very pretty (I'm not syaing I'm better than anyone else or the most beautiful woman in the world btw). I did have some very good girlfriends but was never accepted into groups of girls. I found this a lot throughout my life and it used to really get me down.

I have noticed it reared it's head at the school gates again, it has taken me a good few years to be accepted by the other mums, being shy doesn't help either.

AIBU to think this is something that often women (obvioulsy not all women!) don't like other women who they think are pretty??

OP posts:
Feminine · 08/12/2011 17:38

Very good way of looking at it LeQueen :)

I like that very much...

Strawberrytallcake · 08/12/2011 17:49

Yanbu

LeQueen · 08/12/2011 18:03

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Feminine · 08/12/2011 18:13

LeQueen maybe sometimes people think you do have something to do with it? Confused I don't know?

Unfortunately it can make some people envious...your way(of thinking) is much more straightforward and is a nice way to look at things.:)

You are probably very well balanced.

LEttletownofBOFlehem · 08/12/2011 18:24

Oh, she certainly is. A chip on both shoulders, right, LeQ? Xmas Grin

Insomnia11 · 08/12/2011 18:58

I agree with the OP. I've had feelings of being slightly in awe of women who I thought were beautiful and a bit shy around them but never that I want to exclude someone or that I disliked someone because of it. Never got that "Isn't she gorgeous?" "Yeah, what a bitch!" attitude. Guess it arises out of self-loathing/fear/insecurity.

sozzledchops · 08/12/2011 19:48

I like looking at beautiful women ( in a way more than men, maybe i should be worried) especially ones you see just out and about who are natural beautiful and it's not about the makeup and the clothes, not so much the stars who are tweaked and airbrushed to death. Different if they come across as vain and arrogant but maybe as said they are shy and feel defensive.

sozzledchops · 08/12/2011 19:52

And if I really like someone then they look attractive to me, just the same as someone who is gorgeous but ugly on the inside starts to look ugly on the outside as well. I'm not pretty but have been called 'strangely attractive' now and again Confused when I make the effort. Bless their cotton socks!

Esta3GG · 08/12/2011 20:19

Why is it vain or arrogant to know you're good looking?

It isn't.
Nobody said it was.
That is not what the OP was all about.

Believing you are pretty is all very reasonable.
However believing that the primary reason you are incapable of forming strong relationships with other women is because they envy your prettiness however is both vain and arrogant.

Amazing that this thread continues to rattle on.
I though it had already been exposed as a wind up last night??

JeremyVile · 08/12/2011 20:24

Where was it exposed as a wind-up?

Feminine · 08/12/2011 20:37

It not a wind-up Confused

op has just taken a back seat!

And Esta it can happen ~I suspect you just wish it was a wind-up Wink

tryandtryagain · 08/12/2011 20:41

who told you that you were pretty?
you? or your DP DH? or your mirror

Feminine · 08/12/2011 20:43

In my case I made an amazing living from my 'looks' so the 'industry' told me

and model agency scouts etc...

and men...and women ...and I didn't scare babies in their prams Grin

Oggy · 08/12/2011 20:52

If people didn't like me I would want to believe it was because they were jealous of my good looks rather than exploring possible personality issues too - doesn't necessarilly make it so though.

I think arrogance comments come, not from her believing she is very pretty, but from the complete refusal to address any possibility that there is anything about her as a person that may be causing her to struggle to form friendships. It is by FAR the more likely explanation. She even admits she is shy (a classic contributor to difficulty forming freindships) and yet STILL dismisses this in favour of a more ego-massaging explanation. How can anyone think that makes sense?

I do find this whole idea very mysoginistic, it's usually the type of thing you hear from men and based on no actual evidence that I have ever heard of.

JeremyVile · 08/12/2011 20:53

Feminine - You are beautiful.

Feminine · 08/12/2011 20:58

Yes, oggy I do see where you are coming from.

I think op should come back and let us know what she has taken from the in-put.

From this point onward, she should take the interesting perspectives on board and perhaps work from there?

I am in support of her though, what she thinks has happened doessometimes. I am taking her side (as I understand it only too well)

As I have said (boringly now) on this thread Wink I have worked hard on my personality and I don't let women use my 'so called' looks to ignore/dislike me.

MyChildDoesntNeedSleepAtXmas · 08/12/2011 21:02

No, I like pretty women. I'm not a lesbian, but I just love nice-looking things! Must be my Libran nature!

I thought it was the opposite...good looking people have people flocking around them, so maybe you're not as good-looking as you thought.

Feminine · 08/12/2011 21:02

Jeremy Blush Thank you...

Sargesaweyes · 08/12/2011 21:02

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

forehead · 08/12/2011 21:04

What about women who are both gorgeous and intelligent.?
My best friend is one of these women.
She is a solicitor, has three lovely children and can talk about anything(from politics to crap reality shows)
She is also very nice...

Feminine · 08/12/2011 21:06

mychild I am a Libra also.

I like peace around me , and I like to be liked for me.

I actually don't want a superficial thing like pretty-ness/or lack of, to really have that much of an impact on my day to day life!

Feminine · 08/12/2011 21:10

sarge a bit of everything really.

magazine spreads ...beauty work ...covers...

Toward the end of my 'time', I mostly made TV commercials in Europe as my look was never that popular in the UK.

Thanks for the nice compliment :)

KingofHighVis · 08/12/2011 21:10

I'm very attractive and everyone loves me.

Feminine · 08/12/2011 21:11

Thats the spirit king

MyChildDoesntNeedSleepAtXmas · 08/12/2011 21:21

I've noticed the opposite. I must have always been pretty, but since I sorted out my hair, lost weight and took care with my hair and make-up I'm always getting comments on how I look like a model/am stunning etc etc.